


Disobedient

by Dippin_Dots



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: (kinda), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Bad Flirting, Bad Jokes, Crying, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, F/F, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Lots of Crying, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Relationship(s), Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Steven Universe: The Movie Spoilers, Swearing, Useless Lesbians, everyone's a dork, steven really likes coffee now, too much crying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2020-10-18 20:49:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 72,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20645477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dippin_Dots/pseuds/Dippin_Dots
Summary: After, once again, the Earth was almost destroyed, some things are left over to address. Amethyst's confusing emotions, for one. She doesn't know what to do with them. Can she admit to herself what's really happening? Or will her and Pearl be back to square one, back when they were just distant teammates?After all, Amethyst has never been good with words.[WARNING! Spoilers for Steven Universe: The Movie ARE present!]





	1. It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst recalls some memories between her and Pearl from the past few months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! In case you didn't see, this chapter, and most likely any future chapters, contain MAJOR spoilers for Steven Universe: The Movie. I highly recommend watching the movie before reading this. I highly recommend watching the movie even if you DON'T read this, it's really well done!

Amethyst felt like she was going crazy.

It had taken so long for her to figure out how to love herself, why did it have to all go wrong now? She had been doing so well...

And all over something so _stupid!_

She sat up suddenly, the pile of trash underneath her shifting strangely, threatening to collapse altogether. Really now, she was losing her edge. She couldn't even get her trash piles to cooperate. Amethyst frowned as she decidedly slumped off of the old mattress she had found in (and stolen from) Beach City's dump. The mountain gave way, crashing backwards into another taller pile. That pile toppled into another pile, and then another... and then another. A domino affect of garbage. 

Her room was a mess, to say the least, but it always was. Now it was just shaped differently. Amethyst knew that something like this was bound to happen, as she didn't spend much time in her room anymore. Without the proper management, the colossal towers sagged over the months. In other words, time was the shaky hand, and her trash, the Jenga game. 

The thought made her smile. She hadn't been in her room for months. A few years ago, she had spent a lot of her spare time in her room. It was a way to escape for her, to get away from the other gems, and her own thoughts. A very smelly sanctuary. She had always felt like a disappointment, so surrounding herself with garbage made herself feel less like garbage. Whenever she needed to cry, or just be alone, her room was there, waiting for her. But she hadn't needed that for a long time. She was so busy now, with Little Homeworld, her spotlighting in Sadie's band, hanging out with her friends, and talking to Steven whenever possible. She had also gained so much self-confidence since then. Her depressing thoughts had stopped plaguing her. She actually wanted to hang out with people more often. It wasn't like she didn't enjoy personal alone time, but it was usually spent sitting out somewhere in the open, watching the clouds or stars go by. 

That was until _it_ started happening. 

Without the dark clouds swarming her head, there was a lot more room and acceptance to start thinking about other things.

And other people.

It was Steven's 16th birthday when _it_ happened for the first time. For his Sweet Sixteen, the boy had wanted to celebrate it with his entire family. This was a little tricky considering just how large it was, especially when he counted his friends as family too. But nonetheless, everyone pitched in to make it happen. Mayor Nanefua even organized the event, inviting Beach City's residents to celebrate the birth of what she called the town's "hero". This had made Steven a bit uncomfortable, but he put up with it for the sake of having a fantastic birthday. It took place in what was called "The Crater", which was the new nickname for the massive hole where Lapis' and Peridot's barn was before it was ripped up, taken to the moon, and slammed into a monarch. The two previous barn-mates didn't mind the location, however, having previously talked about the situation. They had long forgiven each other (mostly Peridot forgiving Lapis). The location was extremely convenient as well, since every human guest could all make it there relatively easy, and the was a large enough open space for the Diamonds to attend as well. To put it mildly, the guest list was miles long, and there was several hundred gifts there for Steven to open, though he mostly didn't care about that. He was just happy he could spend time with everyone at once. 

It was sunset, the party had gone on for hours already. The Crater was decorated with colorful lights, balloons, the typical party equipment. Sadie Killer and The Suspects were playing multiple different songs, for now everyone was on the the dance floor. Amethyst, of course, had tons of energy in her movements, screaming and whooping and generally have a great time. There were multiple fusions, of course, including one from Stevonnie, who looked slightly embarrassed for a moment before laughing it off. They soon unfused however, since Steven needed to attend his own party. Even White Diamond was trying to bust a move, failing miserably at doing so. Amethyst had shouted some encouragement up at her, although White resolved in the end that she didn't quite get it and was bound to step on one of Steven's friends. So after a few minutes, she sat back on the edge of The Crater again (but not before cringing that she had to sit on dirt). It was a pretty awesome party. 

At that moment, Amethyst had looked in just the right place to see Pearl far at the other side of The Crater, illuminated by a soft mirage of colors from the party lights. Her white skin reflected the colors brilliantly. Though Pearl typically didn't enjoy this genre of music, she seemed to be enjoying it now, dancing with her usual grace. She was talking with the other pearls, Blue, Yellow, and Pink, while she twirled and swayed. The four of them had bonded dramatically since regrouping two years back. Amethyst had guessed they could relate to each other a _lot_. Apparently, Yellow Pearl had said something particularly funny, because Pearl (Pearl Pearl...?) seemed to just erupt with laughter, clutching her sides and doubled over. 

Amethyst suddenly felt a swell of pride. She was... proud of Pearl and how far she'd come. Even after everything, even after she had become "independent", even after Rose disappeared forever, Amethyst could tell that Pearl was never fully free. Even if it was only something Pearl was doing to herself at this point, even it it wasn't, there was still hesitation in everything the gem did, everything was done carefully and efficiently, like she was just waiting to mess up and be ridiculed, or for her privileges to be snatched away. But here, under the lights and in the music, Amethyst saw nothing but ease and confidence oozing out of every pore on Pearl's body. She had truly learned to just... _be._

Then their eyes met, and Amethyst hadn't noticed that she had stopped dancing, or that Pearl had stopped laughing. The older gem cupped her hands around her mouth, shouting something that Amethyst couldn't hear. Some of the other party guests around Pearl turned and smiled at the younger gem, and the other Pearls waltzed off, talking amiably. Pearl started worming through the crowd towards Amethyst, which for some reason had her heart leaping up to her throat. 

"Hey Amethyst!" Pearl yelled after getting considerably closer to the aforementioned gem, still running ever closer. Amethyst felt frozen in place. She didn't know why. But the sight of her teammate making her way towards her, made her smile. She knew she probably looked like an idiot with some goofy look on her face, but she couldn't find it in herself to care. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Pearl was standing right in front of her. 

"Amethyst," She repeated, smiling warmly, huffing slightly from a lack of breath. 

"Hiya..." The other gem replied, trying to collect her thoughts. What was happening? Why did it suddenly feel like they were the only people there? _Was Pearl feeling this too?_

"Do you want to dance? You were sort of just standing here," Pearl teased, grinning and holding out her hand. 

Of course Amethyst took it.

"Yeah, that'd be pretty neat," She joked, getting a small chuckle out of her friend.

Not much was said after that, just the two of them moving past each other languidly, enjoying each others company. Amethyst felt light on her feet, like the ground was air and she was floating. She would crack a joke, and Pearl would laugh, and they just listened to the music and moved. It was like everything was poured into this one moment. It was one of those weird moments that, seemingly for no reason, you knew you were going to remember it forever. She wanted to fuse, to feel this together as one person, and she knew that this rate, they were probably going to. Where had this come from? Just a second ago Pearl was dancing by herself, but now... the way the lights bounced off of her face made Amethyst feel like time was slowed down. Her head felt funny, like she was almost too happy. Her stomach also felt funny, as if she ate too many sweets (an extreme feat for her). When she opened the eyes she hadn't realized she closed, Pearl was staring back at her, like she could read her just as one would read a book. _Amethyst wondered if she liked the story._

She smiled. This was new. She laughed. This was weird. She could feel her body become light itself, bright and blinding. She saw Pearl's do the same. This was off. 

She got scared. 

It was over as quickly as it had begun, Amethyst stumbling backwards, tripping over fear and nothing. Confusion marred her face, and her thoughts were buzzing like she had too much to drink. _Holy shit_, _had_ she had too much to drink? Maybe this was a teenagers birthday party, but that hadn't stopped her sneaking a couple beers into the event for herself. She was _Amethyst_ after all. But she couldn't have been drunk, she hadn't had nearly enough. 

"Are you alright??" Pearl asked, snapping her back to attention. People around them were staring. _Why were they staring?_ Pearl looked so concerned, and Amethyst suddenly felt her nerves spike, ice cold and sharp. _What was happening...? What was she **doing?**_

Blinking, Amethyst became aware of her surroundings again. She was back in her room, and she sighed at the ground. Her trip down memory lane did nothing to help her mood. And the trip was far from over. That was just the first stop. That was only the first time. 

_It_ happened again a few days after the party, when she was sitting on the couch watching TV. Garnet was out, getting groceries. Steven was in space, handling space politics. Pearl, sat next to her, commented on the show ever so often, with her usual analysis of what was happening. She tended to predict how an episode ended in only the first few minutes. She was smart like that. After about half an episode of some anime show passed, Amethyst realized that Pearl hadn't said anything since the start of it, which wasn't normal, because she pretty much talked every few seconds. Glancing over, Amethyst saw her leaning slightly back, sleeping soundly. That was something she found Pearl doing recently. While the older gem used to find the sensation of sleep off-putting and strange, she had started partaking in it more often than _never_. She was actually calming down enough to do so without overthinking it so much, like she tended to do. Amethyst smiled, thinking that she looked pretty when she was so relaxed. Quickly afterwards she dismissed the thought as _weird, never think again_, and turned back to the show. 

It was another few minutes later when Pearl's form slumped onto Amethyst's shoulder, and the younger gem's brain stopped working. Her skin started to burn with heat and she pointedly tried to look literally _anywhere else_ instead of where Pearl was. Her feelings came in heavy and robust, and anything but normal. She felt strangely happy, but nervous and petrified at the same time. It was bizarre. She didn't want to move. She didn't want to breathe. 

It wasn't until Steven walked in that she did anything but scream internally. He seemed amused by the whole situation and she begged in harsh whispers for him to _please_ get Pearl off of her and that she didn't know what to do. 

_It_ happened again a week after that. She was in the kitchen, looking for something to drink, promptly choosing dish soap, as one does. She turned quickly and managed to ram right smack into someone, and in a blind stupor, reached her arms out and grabbed the person to prevent the both of them from falling over. It was then she realized that person was Pearl. And that she was dipping her. And that they were reallyclosetogetheroh_shit._ The taller gem said something along the lines of 'Oh, thank you!' but Amethyst didn't register it. She instead became very aware of her hands, and their steady placement on her friend's back, which was smooth and firm from the probably crazy amount of strength Pearl had. The shorter gem squirmed, suddenly uncomfortable. That was the wrong choice, however, because Amethyst had dropped the "drink" she was carrying, and the shift in movement caused her to slide forward on the slippery surface. She collided into Pearl and Pearl collided into the ground. It was... a rather compromising position. The chest beneath her bumped up and down as Pearl laughed, but as soon as Amethyst could, she was up and walking out of the room, ignoring the other's questions calling after her, laced with concern. 

_It_ started happening all the time after that, and Amethyst slowly started to feel off whenever Pearl was even in the room, especially when it was just the two of them. She had no idea where these _feelings_ were even coming from. They had only just started to actually get along, there weren't any arguments anymore. They didn't scream things they didn't mean just because of pent up frustration at someone else who wasn't even around to hear them. Sometimes they ended up talking about that, about how Pearl was so obsessed with Amethyst's behavior because Rose never told her the truth about her appearance. That she was smaller than normal. Pearl thought that by teaching her the "proper" way to behave, when she eventually did figure it out, she would like herself enough, and be mature enough, to be able to easily move past it. Amethyst always told Pearl she was being stuck up, or bossy, or something else, because she knew Pearl was only trying to do what Rose would do, _what Rose would want her to do._ All the time they spent arguing, was just their resentment for someone else. Them trying to move on without actually talking about it. It was unhealthy, and they moved past that. At least Pearl did. Now Amethyst felt like she was back at square one. Something was eating at her, gnawing on her fingers and whispering in her ear. Chipping at at the stony resolve she finally built up. She wanted to lash out again, to blame Pearl, so she didn't have to address it.

But things were fine. She wasn't going to go back, she was going to move _forward,_ God dammit. She was going to figure this out and think it through without hurting other people because she _knew_ better now. So, she put on a smile whenever Pearl was in the room. She cracked her jokes. She teased. She did everything she normally did. And Pearl was none the wiser. Until she messed up. 

The world was ending. Spinel, another person Rose inevitably hurt, was taking her anger and insanity out on the planet, after 6000 years of doing nothing but obey and hope. Amethyst had lost herself entirely and gained herself back. When she was back to normal, she still remembered what happened during her reset. At least most of it. It was kind of like a dream state, where bits and pieces were missing but you still knew the overall story when you woke up. Amethyst... didn't like revisiting that time... Back when she was alone and confused and so... so scared. Back when no one said it but... She knew that there was something different about her... that there was something _wrong_ with her. Amethyst had moved past that, but it still hurt like hell to remember. She had been the first to get back, to realize who she was again.

To see Pearl so devoted, so emotionless, so freakin' _brain-dead,_ hurt Amethyst's heart in a way she didn't understand. All of her progress, all of her morals, all of the things that made her so happy and free, were just wiped away. The same things that made Amethyst feel so proud of her all those months back, the same things that started everything. 

She was just... gone.

Amethyst was desperate. Nothing was working. Pearl was so hyper-_**fucking**_-focused on Greg that she couldn't even remember the atrocities she went through, the lies she had to tell because she was physically incapable of saying what she really wanted to. Ha... Who would want to remember that? Maybe that was just Pearl's subconscious, protecting itself. 

Her hands gripped tightly around her drumsticks, putting all of her efforts into getting her to remember with music Amethyst knew Pearl didn't even _like._ But that was only because it had reminded her of Rose and Greg, the perfect couple, and Pearl being left behind. She didn't remember that. It wasn't enough. _It was never enough._

She felt sick. "Maybe we need to hit her where it hurts."

Was this for Pearl? Or was there still some screwed up part of her where she was just doing this to hurt people, again? Taking it out on Pearl, all her frustrations.

But it wasn't about that, because Amethyst felt so wrong, so out of place. 

"You know, her original boss? The love of her life?" The words stung. She couldn't help but look away for a second, quickly looking back because she _knew_ it looked off. "The reason she rebelled in the first place!" _Why did it hurt so much?_

Shapeshifting into Rose, she felt ugly, and dirty, but she was determined. 

_I... want... to be..._

Looking at Pearl, and her empty smile, something inside Amethyst twisted. Something small and dark and deep down in herself asked, _Was this enough?_

_Disobedient._

She moved slowing and gracefully, something so unnatural to her. But she knew what Rose was like, and she knew that she had to be like her in order for this to work. _Because she wasn't enough on her own._

_I... want... to be..._

She knew Greg was hurting. From the corner of her eye she could see the pain he was trying to hide. She wished she could stop, comfort him, apologize, _anything._ But she had to turn all of her attention to Pearl. _If she were someone else, she would be enough._

_Disobedient._

Reaching out for her, her movements sultry and provocative, she forced a small smile, and a relaxed expression. Like this wouldn't hurt Pearl, like she wasn't manipulating her just like _She_ did. _Please just let this be enough._

_Disobedient._

She was gentle when she gripped Pearl's chin, and forced her to look into her eyes. It took almost no effort at all, like the gem in front of her was used to be handled. And she looked right back at Greg. She felt soft and fragile in Amethyst's hand. _But she wasn't enough._

_Disobedient._

She didn't look at her. Didn't remember all the shit she went through. It should have been so great for Pearl to forget that, but at what cost? Amethyst's face dropped slightly, but she still stared into Pearl's eyes. God, even in the purple light, they still looked so _blue_. _**You're not Rose.**_

_Disobedient..._

What _fuck_ is wrong with her? What in the ever-loving _**fuck**_ was wrong with her?? Why wasn't this enough? Was it because she still would never be Rose? Even after everything, she couldn't be anything like her, _and Pearl doesn't fucking **care** about you-_

The song was over. She stopped singing. She just wanted to cry, but she kept it in, because there were more important things at hand then her _stupid_ emotions. 

When Steven and his father fused, she felt horrible. Not because of them, but because of Pearl. She looked so distressed, worried because she didn't understand what was happening. But it was working, and when Amethyst realized that, she started to feel so much better. It would all be over soon enough. 

And Pearl was singing, and thinking for herself, and fucking _flying_. Amethyst jumped onto the stage with excitement, because Pearl was coming back, she was _remembering._

When Amethyst started floating, she wondered why. Why was she being included? This was about Pearl, not her. Oh my God. _Did he **know??**_

There was something about the fusion's power that calmed her down, and she grinned, looking at Pearl and looking at the ground. Woah, _she was pretty high._ She wasn't really in control of where she was going, but she didn't care. She felt like reality was melting and everything was happy and warm and good again. And she felt _free._

When she floated in front of Pearl, and they looked at each other, there was something behind Pearl's eyes, like she was trying to tell her something she didn't want anyone else to hear. _What was it?_ Amethyst knew that she was talking with her own eyes too. _Were they saying the same thing?_ She hadn't realized she was reaching for Pearl's hands until they connected with hers. 

They were dancing, slow, and fluid, just like they had all those months ago, when _it_ started. Communicating with their eyes, closing them and taking in the moment, opening them and just watching each other like they would disappear. 

They were falling, holding each others hands and careening towards the ground and through the air. She knew they were going to be alright though, recognizing the feeling of becoming lightweight and bright. 

They were fusing. 

And just like that, all of her inhibitions were gone when two became one. Pearl was saying something through the bond, something without words. Something with just feelings. It felt like a hug, gripping her tight, full of care. 

Independent together.

The moment didn't last long. The world was ending.

When they unfused, when they saved the world, when Spinel left with the diamonds, when the initial relief and happiness from winning wore off...

All that was left was guilt.

Did... Did she even remember?

_Did she remember what Amethyst did?_

She felt her cheek. She was crying.

She sucked in a breath, realizing she was still in her room, days later. Days after she messed up.

And she lost it. 

The sobs came out full force and heavy, and made her ache to the point where she fell forward and onto her knees, clutching herself. 

She shouldn't feel like this anymore. She was past this. She was _better._

When did this start? Was it thousands of years ago, but she was too stubborn to realize? Or did it just start that same year? Did everything trickle into something more? Or was there more to be found the entire time? She didn't know. She accidentally bit her tongue, and kept crying.

She couldn't eat, she couldn't sleep, she couldn't do anything without thinking too much. Maybe those things weren't very important for gems, but she was still exhausted and just wanted it to _stop._ Why did _it_ have to start happening?

But she wasn't an idiot, she knew what _it_ was.

She couldn't admit it to herself, but she couldn't keep looking Pearl in the eyes and living a lie like this. She couldn't keep lying to her fucking face because that's exactly what Rose did. Lied.

And Amethyst couldn't handle it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! After watching the movie, I couldn't help but fixate on the song "Disobedient". I just, really love the song... And I noticed something that pretty much no one is talking about. Amethyst's behavior. Everyone is pretty focused on Greg or Steven (and that makes sense, you really feel for them during the scene) but if you just, watch Amethyst, you can see pain in her expression too. I wanted to delve into that, her perspective that is, during the song. And plus, pure Pearl/Amethyst fics are pretty hard to come by. Some things I wanted to address:  
1) I ripped into Rose/Pink Diamond pretty hard. It's no secret that I hold major issues with her personally (She's pretty much the exact type of person whose hurt me in the past), but that isn't why I wrote her like that here. I think that, after everything, Amethyst would dislike Rose. What reason would she have to actually like her? Amethyst was never part of the war, she didn't even have that long to really bond with Rose. The only thing she ever did for her was... take her from her home and tell her she was perfect when that really wasn't true. And sure, Amethyst was probably going stir crazy from being in the Kindergarten for so long, and she is just fine the way she is, small and all. But I can't imagine that her and Rose would have had that strong of a relationship in the first place. ESPECIALLY when you consider how Amethyst reacted after it was revealed that Rose was Pink Diamond. She was just... upset, but way more concerned about her friends. She thought it didn't really have anything to do with her. I feel like, after Pearl continues to talk about it more, Amethyst would have become more and more outraged, even if Pearl wasn't. So, sorry to those of you who love Rose.  
2) There was some podcast where Michaela Dietz (Amethyst's voice actor) said that she could never imagine Amethyst saying "I love you". I totally agree. With Amethyst, I kinda feel like she thinks that stuff is way too mushy for herself to feel. So I don't think Amethyst would ever really say "I love you" outright, I think she would imply it, but not directly say it. I also think that Amethyst is very experienced when it comes to relationships, but never fell in love with any of them. So, that's why I feel like if Amethyst were to fall for someone, especially one of her friends, it would just be one huge guilt trip. Like what she was feeling was wrong. Amethyst, after all, hasn't ever been very good at the whole "feelings" thing. And while I feel like she's gotten so much better at having a good self esteem, I don't think it's completely solid, and something really big happening (like her developing feelings for someone) would put her back in a dark place.  
3) Right now, it might seem like Amethyst falling for Pearl was a really bad thing, considering how distraught Amethyst is. But don't worry! There'll be friends to help her figure it out :).  
4) I feel like I used HTML a bit too much, but I really wanted to place emphasis on Amethyst's thoughts and emotions in this chapter. I promise that the next chapter won't use it nearly as much, might even edit some out of this chapter.  
5) People have been theorizing that where Lapis' and Peridot's barn was is now the center of Little Homeworld (Where Bismuth poured some lava around some warp during the song "Who We Are"). I wrote this chapter before seeing that theory, but I don't even like the theory in the first place. Just keep that in mind, that "The Crater" might diverge from canon (I'll add an AU tag if this is confirmed)
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	2. Embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst gets some advice on her feelings, from a very familiar source.

One really good thing that came out of the whole "end of the world" fiasco, was that Steven was spending a lot more time at home. 

And Amethyst _loved_ Steven. He was like a kid brother to her, if gems could even have brothers. 

After Spinel was pretty much adopted by the Diamonds, they didn't bother Steven _nearly_ as much with unnecessary things he just _had_ to go back to Homeworld for. It wasn't like they didn't do that anymore, but instead of multiple times a day, it only happened once every few days. Steven happily visited the Diamonds when they requested, as now there was no pressure for him to live with them. Spinel kept the Diamonds happy and entertained, and Spinel seemed to be getting along fine with them. She even told Steven about having conversations with the architecture (they were much more chatty nowadays) and growing a keen interest in the Pearls as well. He promised to watch Blue and Yellow Pearl's next live radio show update, where Spinel would, apparently, guest star. 

Steven talked amiably about these things at dinner every night, which was one of the guaranteed parts of the day where the four of them (Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven) would all be in one place, even if only for a few minutes. Garnet tended not to eat, and Pearl definitely didn't eat anything _ever_, but "dinner time was family time." At least that's how Steven put it. They had even invested in a dining table. A lot of nights Greg and Connie would join them, but the both of them tended to be busy. Greg with his car wash and Connie with space camp. Sometimes Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth would even come, but they tended to be even busier.

That night, a few weeks after the Spinel incident, it was just the normal group. Steven had made a lasagna. Since he had turned fifteen, he made it his mission to try to cook full meals himself. Lasagna was probably the first real recipe he tried, being based around some joke Amethyst forgot. Pearl would sigh every time he said he was making it, and he would smirk like he was extremely clever. Amethyst didn't get it, but whatever. The lasagna he made was the freakin' _bomb,_ so who cares?

Not that she was going to eat it. Not tonight, anyway. And not with Pearl sitting so close to her. Amethyst briefly wondered if she looked okay, and if the others could tell she was bawling her eyes out like a baby just a few hours earlier. She shook away that anxiety, however, because she knew they couldn't. She had made sure that whatever bloodshot eyes or dark circles she had were promptly shapeshifted away for dinner. If she could change her entire form for hours in space, then she could handle just the _teeniest_ alteration to her form when she was around her friends. She didn't need the unwanted attention right now, anyway.

They did, however, notice her lack of appetite. Probably because it was _extremely_ obvious. When there was actual leftovers in the fridge, then either Amethyst was poofed or was being told not to eat said leftovers (not that she listened to that). When Steven offered a square of his lasagna, and she politely refused, his face twisted slightly. _"C'mon Amethyst, you don't wan't any at all?"_ That's what he had said. What was she supposed to say to that? No? Drawing even more suspicion wasn't on her list of priorities...

The pasta slab was distributed, and Amethyst inhaled it all into her gullet. It was the easiest, picking at it would've had the same suspicious effect as not eating anything at all. It was tasteless. Even though she knew that Steven's cooking was fantastic, she couldn't enjoy it. It sat like a rock in her stomach. She grinned and told him it tasted great. _Liar._

Realizing she had zoned out for a few minutes, she quickly pretended to be listening to the conversation. Well, _someone_ said something hilarious because Steven huffed in a huge breath of air and guffawed, slamming his hand on the table, roaring with laughter. The table shook, threatening to break under the boy's power. 

"Woah there!" Garnet said, chuckling, grabbing the table to hold it steady. "Still don't realize your own strength?" 

"I-I guess I don't!" Steven replied, catching his breath. "Good thing Bismuth decided to reinforce this table after all!"

Bismuth, who didn't trust wood on its own, tended to blend it with other materials, like steel, to reinforce buildings and structures. This soon carried over to the furniture (which wasn't crafted by Bismuth), giving them some "alterations".

"I still don't understand how _she_ doesn't understand the undeniable fact that wood is a superior product." _Oh shit, Pearl was talking. Uh... Um???_

"Apparently not when it comes to pure teenage might," Garnet teased, which got a small laugh out of the table. 

"S-sorry... That was just... really funny," Steven said sheepishly. 

"I really was out of it, wasn't I?" Pearl remarked. "I still can't believe I was being subservient to _Greg_ of all people. How ironic..."

Oh, they were talking about _that_ day.

Fuck.

"Do you really remember all of it?" Steven asked, gathering another bite of lasagna on his fork. 

Amethyst wished they hadn't. 

"Eeehh... It's all a bit hazy, but yes. I can."

"Like an out-of-body experience," Garnet chirped in, adjusting her visor. 

"Garnet," Steven started, smirking. "Your case was _literally_ an out-of-body experience."

The fusion shrugged, smiling a bit as she did so. 

"It was kinda like... dreaming?" Amethyst provided, deciding to contribute to the conversation. 

"I concur," Pearl said while rolling her eyes dramatically. The lanky gem had never liked dreaming, thinking it felt weird.

"I'm glad I got to remember," Garnet beamed down at her hands. "It was nice to fall in love all over again."

Steven let out a high-pitched and squeaky _"AAAWWW!"_ that reminded Amethyst of the little twerp he was just a few years ago. She grinned. It was nice. 

"It was really adorable how Sapphire saved Ruby this time..." Pearl murmured. "It really shows how... you two were meant to be..."

Her eyes met Amethyst's, something glinting in them, only briefly. She looked at Garnet again. She frowned a bit. 

"I think... it helped me..." She said, before she quickly clarified. "Being rejuvenated, that is."

"Why's that?" Steven asked. Pearl shrugged. 

"Something about having a different... owner? Often times us Pearls have to be subservient to those who own us, and have to follow their orders, especially when they're as high of a ranking as a Diamond. There's a part of us that... makes us physically incapable of rebelling against a direct order, or against the gem that owns us. I feel as if that part of me is a bit confused as to _who_ exactly owns me now. I'm not sure, it's rather silly... But... I think I'll be able to fully move on now, from Rose..." She looked down, seeming ashamed. 

"Dude... That's _awesome!!_" Amethyst said with a little too much excitement. "I'm really happy for you!"

She didn't know why, but something about Pearl's demeanor made Amethyst want to speak up. Just to let her know that Amethyst was still, so friggin' proud of how far she's come. 

"I-I'm really proud of you..." She grinned shyly, saying as much. 

Pearl looked a bit flustered at this sudden outburst, staring at Amethyst, a question lingering somewhere in the air. Garnet clapped a hand on Pearl's shoulder, smiling brightly.

"We all are," Steven added. 

Pearl lips turned up in a genuinely affectionate smile. She glanced down, embarrassed.

"Thank you... Sometimes it's just hard to think about how long it's taking me to move past that," She abruptly looked back up, seeming determined. "But I really think I'm getting better! Heh! Here- Watch this!"

With that, she promptly turned around in her chair, staring at the painting of Rose hanging by the stairs. She cupped a hand around her mouth. 

_"BOO Rose!!"_

She stuck out her tongue, and gave a thumbs down, like some kid. It was hilarious. Everyone, including Amethyst, burst into warm laughter, Garnet grabbing Steven's hand before it could hit the table again. Pearl turned back around, looking a little green. 

"I-I actually feel kind of bad now..."

That made everyone laugh harder, Steven even going as far as to wipe tears from his eyes. They all reassured her that she was doing just fine, when they could breathe again. 

"W-well! I actually have some business to attend to!" Pearl stammered, standing awkwardly, the chair screeching behind her. "With _Bis_-muth! Business with Bismuth!" 

With that, she gingerly took Steven's and Amethyst's plates, taking them over to the sink. She tended to do that, offering to clean automatically. She often reassured that it was because she genuinely wanted to, and not because she felt as if she had to. Still, Steven jumped up from his seat and offered to wash the dishes for her. It happened that way pretty much every night. The routine made Amethyst feel a bit better. Everything was fine. Everything was exactly how it used to be. 

_Liar._

Pearl actually did have something to attend to with Bismuth, quickly making her way out the front door. About two minutes after that, there was a call from the Diamonds asking Steven to visit. He accepted, as long as he was home before curfew (a curfew he had made up for himself, called the "Must Be On Earth By This Time" curfew. It was a very clever name). Soon, it was just Amethyst and Garnet in the house, and without any plans, the smaller gem decided to step outside.

The beach really was gorgeous at night, the moonlight reflecting off the sand, the waves crashing softly onto the shore. Although Amethyst would never say it out loud, Earth was just as beautiful as how Pearl always described it. 

Pearl... Amethyst frowned. Taking a leap off of the balcony, like the reckless gem she was, she fell into the sand swiftly and easily. Walking closer to the water, she wondered if she was going to be able to get through this or not. _Of course she would._ She shook her head. Maybe this was difficult, but she could get over it, right?

_Right?_

She wasn't sure. She gritted her teeth, kicking the sand in front of her. The tiny grains ricocheted off the water and splashed into it's depths, and she flopped down onto the shore. The stars were pretty, but she wasn't looking at them. Her reflection peered back at her in the water. She had to just... stop thinking about it. 

_Like she hadn't been trying to do that for months._

"Ugh!" Amethyst threw herself backwards so that she was lying down, facing the vast sky above her, her arms sprawled out beside her. She once had spent hours attempting to count all the stars above her, but the sun had rose before she could finish, and they disappeared. She had gotten to the number 28,865.

"You're going to get sand stuck in your hair, you know," Someone said. 

Suddenly, Garnet's face impaired Amethyst's vision. She stood above her, giving her one of those trademarked "Garnet" looks that literally no one but herself could decipher.

Amethyst launched back up to a sitting position, mumbling an apology. Why was she even apologizing? She didn't do anything. She said something about being sorry about being sorry, but then just resolved to looking back at the ocean in front of her, and shutting up. Garnet, without replying, sat next to her on the shore. 

It was silent for a few minutes, Amethyst studying the ocean, while being slightly uncomfortable, and Garnet stoic and patient. She probably knew already, but Amethyst couldn't find it in herself to talk to her about it. The thing that's been plaguing her for months, following her to her dreams and her thoughts. The _it_. Her face scrunched up, and she gazed back at the sand. _Say something, at least._

"Do-" She found herself starting to say something, and stopped. Garnet glanced at her, waiting patiently for her to continue. Amethyst swallowed. 

"Do you ever just... wanna go back?"

"Go back?" Garnet replied, tilting her head.

"Like, to two or three years ago, when Steven was just a dork and... and things weren't so complicated?" She pushed some hair out of her face.

Garnet seemed to think for a moment. 

"Nope."

_Wow that made her feel so much better..._

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Amethyst stared at the water, watching the waves roll over each other, bop up and down in the distance. Did she want to talk about it? Maybe, but that would mean letting everything _out._ She crossed her arms, hugging herself.

"Amethyst, you know you can tell me anything," Garnet's visor shined in the light as she looked away. "And I'll answer any questions you have."

_God fucking dammit._

"I-I... I don't... I..."

Garnet would be the best person to ask. Amethyst sighed and steered herself.

"How do you know if you're in love?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw Garnet smile, but she didn't dare check. Instead she turned her head fully away from her, shame churning in her gut.

"That fact that you're asking me that means you already know."

Then there was anger. Bubbling somewhere under her skin, tickling her fingers, making them twitch. Amethyst hugged her knees to her chest. It wasn't that _easy..._

"N-no it actually doesn't... What if I'm wrong?"

"You'd know."

It flashed up again, hot and searing. She squeezed her legs tighter.

"Y-yeah?? Well-... What i-if I'm just freaking out over nothing!" Her arms flew out exasperated, frustrated. "What if I'm just being stupid or something??"

"You're not stupid, Amethyst."

"_Yes_ I am... Just... Could you _please_ explain it?? S-so that I know?" She shuddered. 

There was a pause, as if Garnet was mulling that over. Amethyst heard a faint _"hmm"_ from her side. 

"Love is a hard emotion to explain," Garnet noted. "It almost contradicts itself. It can feel dreadful at times. But then, the next moment you feel inexplicably happy. It's affection, but stronger, you feel a connection from deep within yourself that wasn't there before. It's selfless, and you would do anything for the person of your affections. Their happiness matters most. It's strange, it's frustrating, but it's euphoric. I wouldn't give it up for anything."

Silence. Amethyst's shoulders shook. The waves crashed against the shoreline, trickling dangerously close to the pair, but not quite far enough, gently rolling back into the sea. She turned to face Garnet, putting on a brave face.

Her brave face wasn't very convincing. 

"H-how... How do y-you make it go away...?"

_When had she started crying?_

Garnet's head snapped towards her, apparently not expecting that response. That had been happening more often lately, her getting taken by surprise. 

"H-how do you make i-it _stop??_," She hiccuped, tears and snot rolling down her face. "I-I don't want this!! _Hic._ I don't want to d-deal with this!!"

"Oh... Amethyst..." Garnet reached for her, to offer comfort of some sort most likely, but Amethyst flinched away. Her hand slowly dropped. 

"I-I d-don't _want_ to feel this! _Hic._ What if I _hic_ ruin everything???" Amethyst hugged her legs, crying uncontrollably. "What do I _do??_"

"Amethyst, look at me."

Despite feeling horrible, Amethyst did as she was told, and gazed up. Garnet's hand came to her visor, her fingertips brushing it softly before it disappeared in a flash of light. When she met the shorter gems eyes, her own were full of sorrow, but a sort of mutual understanding as well. 

"You have nothing to be ashamed of," She said, smiling softly and reassuringly. 

"B-But what if I-"

"Pearl will understand, even if she doesn't feel the same way," She interrupted.

Amethyst's stomach dropped. 

"_H-how did you-_" Then she remembered who she was talking to. Right. She was probably so fucking obvious about it. Future vision didn't help. And Garnet was _also_ the embodiment of love itself, so _that_ didn't help either. 

"How do you know she will?" Amethyst grumbled instead, sniffling. 

"You've known her for thousands of years, Amethyst. Give her a _little_ credit," Garnet chuckled slightly, despite the situation.

"What do I do then?" Amethyst asked. Her eyes caught something moving from between them. A little hermit crab, slowly making it's way up shore. Its skin was a muted purple color, and its shell shined light blue in the moonlight. Her gaze followed it, slightly blurred from tears. She wondered where it was going.

"Give it time," Garnet finally responded, gaining Amethyst's attention again. She scoffed. 

"It's been like, months! M-maybe even longer! How much time do I friggin' need??" She shuddered again, hugging herself a bit tighter. 

"What I _meant_ was..." Garnet said, looking off at the ocean. "Give it time _while_ embracing it."

"E-embracing it?"

"Amethyst," Garnet beamed, turning slightly towards her friend, her hands waving, exaggerating herself. "This is a new experience! You should explore these new feelings, and accept them! Don't squash them down, you'll only hurt yourself. This is something that's meant to be exciting."

Amethyst could see the sincerity in Garnet's eyes, but she frowned. 

"But... I'm scared..." She mumbled.

"It's okay to be scared," Garnet shifted, the smile leaving her face. "But if you truly want to move on, you need to embrace your true feelings first..."

There was a pause.

"And tell Pearl how you feel."

Amethyst stopped hugging her knees, and gripped the sand below her as if to catch herself from falling, even though she was already sitting down. The hermit crab, which was about a foot away from them at this point, zipped into it's shell. She barely noticed. 

"_WHAT???_ There's no way!! I-I can't do _that!!_" She yelped, her cheeks burning with embarrassment. 

"Eventually you will. You'll never know what'll happen if you don't," Garnet turned away, bringing her hand up to her eyes, her visor flashing back in place. "And you'll never be able to properly move on."

"Um!! Yuh-huh I will!! Why don't _you_ just tell me what'll happen?? Hmm???"

Garnet remained stoic, her visor now blocking any emotional response, with absolutely nothing to give Amethyst a clue. 

"That would be cheating," She replied simply. 

Amethyst grunted and looked at the ground. She used the back of her hand to wipe at her cheeks, which were still damp. She did feel significantly better after talking it out, even if Garnet was being stubborn. She wondered for a moment-

"You may have a hug, yes," The fusion beside her said, smiling again. Amethyst huffed. 

"I didn't- I dont- ... Ugh! _Fine!_"

Garnet's arms wrapped around the smaller gem, encasing Amethyst in a warm embrace. Though she would never say it out loud, it felt nice. She hugged back. 

"Th...Thank you..." She muttered, feeling like she was going to cry again.

"You're very welcome."

They stayed like that for a few minutes, Amethyst sighing into the affection. In the corner of her eye, she watched the crab come out of it's shell, and start marching towards the house again. _Embrace her feelings, huh?_

Garnet eventually left, mentioning that it was now past Steven's curfew, and she was going to go check on him. He probably got caught up in something, the Diamonds smothering him and begging him to stay for just a _few_ more minutes. It wouldn't be the first, or the last time. Amethyst was left on the shore, feeling strange. Sometimes one knew a memory was being made while it was still happening. This was one of those moments, where she felt a bit surreal, and outside of time in a way.

_Embrace your feelings._

Amethyst thought of Steven's 16th birthday, when Pearl and her danced sweetly together. She wondered what would have happened if they had fused? She thought about the time on the couch, when Pearl had fallen asleep on her shoulder. What if, instead of freezing up, she gently combed her fingers through Pearl's hair? What if when they fell in the kitchen, she had easily regained composure, helped Pearl up, and cracked some super lame pick-up-line? _What if she had kissed her?_

She smiled, watching the crab slowly trek up the beach, watched as Steven came down from their balcony. _"Garnet said you were upset, you okay?"_ That's what he had said. She nodded, and he didn't say anything else as he sat on the shore next to her, leaning his head on her shoulder and looking at the waves. _Dork._ She shapeshifted herself into a slightly taller and softer version of herself when he eventually fell asleep, carrying him up the flights of stairs into his room. He was getting a bit too big for her to easily carry him, but she didn't care, slipping him into his bed like he was still just a kid. She ruffled his hair, shifting fully back into her own form as she did, dark circles and all. She was a bit exhausted from making herself look presentable since dinner, but she's been through worse. She tucked him in, walking out of his room and softly closed the door. She thought she might be able to sleep tonight. Everything would be alright. 

When she walked back out to the beach, the hermit crab was munching on a piece of driftwood. She decided to name it Dude. 

She watched Dude finish his meal, and walk back into the ocean, before she finally headed back inside. Flopping onto the couch, she sighed into the pillow. _Embrace her feelings? Check. What's next?_

She felt whole and full as she drifted off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I don't think this chapter is as long as the previous one, but hey, I thought adding another scene into this would be weird, so I kept it as it is. I really just wanted Garnet to slap some sense into Amethyst with her ultimate love wisdom. It was really hard for me to describe love in this chapter. I've been in love before, but I don't really like thinking about it? It didn't work out. I hope I did alright. I tried to reference the whole theme of 'contradictions' in the song "Isn't it Love?" from the movie. I feel like that's how Garnet would describe love, since she kinda did in the song. Another thing about Garnet, I feel like her future vision isn't as sharp as it once was, since now there's a lot of unpredictable things in her life. I mean, when Spinel was about to take over Earth, she literally didn't see _anything_ until like, two seconds before it happened. So, she would get surprised more often. Also! I kinda ripped into Rose again (can't help it, teehee)! But, again, this was to provide context on someone else's feelings on her (aka, this will be brought up again). Pearl, I feel, has an extremely complicated relationship with Rose/Pink Diamond. She loved her, devoted everything she had to her, but now? I feel like Pearl is in a weird place. If someone were to insult Rose, I feel like she would be slightly offended and probably try to defend her. At the same time, I feel like she semi-dislikes her now. Pearl is the one who would understand Rose's decisions and why she made them more than anyone else. I don't think she thinks Rose is a bad person, but I think she acknowledges that Rose did a lot of shitty things, even if they were for the right reasons. Because of this, I feel like, more than anything, she just wants to get to a place where she can feel indifferent towards her. Thankful for her existence, but past that. So, the joke of her saying "Boo Rose" is more of her trying to impress her friends more than anything, and she feels immediately bad afterwards. Honestly, it was probably her that insisted to keep Rose's painting on the wall in the first place. I think I'm going to deviate from talking about Rose at all in the next chapter, but you never know. I really do hate her lmao.
> 
> Also, does Dude count as an OC? Do I have to add an OC tag now? I don't even know where he came from tbh, I just started writing about a crab out of nowhere and decided to incorporate him into the story and kinda make him reflect Amethyst in the same way that turtle in the Grapes of Wrath reflects Tom Joad. Yeehaw I love referencing my Composition class. Wonder if anyone will get that reference. Probably not.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Pearl talk about what happened during the events of Spinel's attempt at destroying the Earth, and get a couple things off of their chests.

She was in a field somewhere wide and open, the sky painted delicate hues of yellows, pinks and golds as the sun rose in the distance. She could see little dots of trees and mountains somewhere far away on the horizon. The clouds formed abstract shapes from above. She pointed to one. _"That cloud looks like a dragon."_ The wind blew. The dragon was sleeping soundly. 

The grass felt soft beneath her, and she shifted her gaze to watch the seeds from a dandelion fly off and into the air. She listened to the soft whispers it made, of love and affinity. She felt her fingers lace with someone else's. She glanced over to see who it was, and found pink tendrils of hair and white skin, blue eyes that stared back into her own. She gently squeezed her hand, and they both smiled. 

Gazing back into the sky, they lay there quietly for awhile, the clouds swirling past. _"That one looks like you."_ She heard from beside her. She looked at the clouds, and frowned. _"That one can't be me."_ Anxiety, from somewhere distant, bubbled in her. _"Why not?"_ A squeeze, a shuffle, and they were even closer than before, shoulders pressed together, side by side. _"I don't know, it looks too pretty, too beautiful."_ Another dandelion lost its fluff, floating in and out of sight. _"Exactly."_ Her anxieties dispelled, dying underneath her skin and being reborn into something else.

_Safe. Warm. Whole._

Amethyst woke up. 

She saw the ceiling first, a headache hitting her almost immediately. _Probably from all the crying._ She sat up slowly, processing her surroundings. 

Home, she was at home, sitting on the couch where she fell asleep last night. Right. 

Shit she was _home??_

She launched up, whirling around to look at the time. _6:02 AM._ She hadn't even gotten two hours of sleep. She sighed, sitting back down. No one could have seen her dream. Steven was still asleep, and most likely everyone was out still. If her gem had been projecting anything, no one would have seen it.

_Note to self, don't sleep out in the open where others can see how much of a total goober you're being._

Because seriously? That dream was just sappy. She wanted to barf just thinking about it. _Liar._

The house was quiet, the cries of seagulls from somewhere outside faint and far. She looked around, willing the headache to go away. Her eyes focused on the kitchen.

She needed something to eat.

Happy that her appetite came back, she quickly decided to take advantage of it, and stood up. Crossing the room towards the fridge, she wondered if there was any cereal. _Cereal wouldn't be in the fridge, idiot._ Right, She shook her head. Looking in the cabinets, she found a box of Tasty cereal pretty quickly. Taking it out, she promptly ripped the entire top of the box off, along with the top of the bag inside, and dumped the entirety of its contents down her throat. But wait, how could she forget the milk? How silly of her! She dove into the fridge, pulling out a jug and drank straight from it, like the animal she was. 

She heard the front door open, and nonchalantly turned to see whoever it was, still chugging. Once her brain registered the fact that it was _Pearl_ she sputtered, a tidal wave of milk flooding out of her mouth. Now coughing uncontrollably, she struggled to keep the jug level, to prevent any further mess. It didn't help much, since milk was coming out of her nose. 

"P-_Pearl??_" She found herself saying, hacking into her elbow. "Wh-when did _cough cough COUGH!!_"

"Oh my stars, Amethyst!" Pearl exclaimed, quickly rushing over to help. Her slender fingers brushed slightly over Amethyst's as she took the gallon of milk from her, which did _not_ help the coughing fit. Amethyst wheezed, holding onto the counter. 

"A-are you choking??" Peal yelled, looking frazzled. 

"N-no I'm- _sputter cough_ I'm g-good!" Amethyst held up a finger, indicating she needed a second. Pearl waited patiently, despite being concerned. 

Finally, after what seemed like ages, Amethyst caught her breath. She wiped the disgusting mess of milk and saliva off her face with the back of her hand, and felt absolutely mortified. Pearl, seeing that her friend was okay, put the milk back in the fridge. 

"Are you alright?" She asked, turning back towards Amethyst. 

"Y-yeah. Sorry, you took me by surprise," She replied, looking at the mess she made. 

Pearl smiled softly, walking past Amethyst. She grabbed a towel from one of the drawers, wetting it in the sink and ringing it out. 

"Here," She said, handing it to Amethyst. "Clean yourself up. I'll get a mop."

"What?? No! This is my bad! I got it," Amethyst quickly retaliated. 

"Oh, please," The taller gem responded, rolling her eyes. "It will only take a second. I'm fine."

There was no need to argue, so Amethyst let it go, feeling bad. Pearl walked off to get the necessary cleaning supplies, while the shorter gem wiped off her face and arms with the towel. It felt warm and nice on her skin. That was... pretty sweet of Pearl to do that. 

Speaking of the devil, the gem made her way back into the kitchen, swiping up the mess with ease. 

"I told you to stop drinking out of the carton. That-" She pointed at her friend. "Was only karma."

Amethyst feigned a noise like she was offended, placing her hand over her gem. 

"What _I'm_ doing, Pearl," She started, sounding defensive. "Is saving the planet. If I used a cup, I would've had to wash it, which would have been a waste of water, one of Earth's most _precious_ resources." She made sure to emphasize the last part with her signature Pearl voice, feeling pleased. 

The taller gem gave her a look, the exact one Amethyst was aiming for. Then, Pearl broke into a fit of giggles. Amethyst's heart fluttered at the sound of it.

_Embrace your feelings._

"So uh... What did Bismuth need you for?" She inquired.

_Nice._

"Oh! Well..." Pearl finished mopping, moving to go put it away, Amethyst following her. "Peridot was having trouble configuring one of her newest technological doohickeys. She wanted some insight from someone who's worked with that type of thing, so Bismuth called me."

The mop was promptly put back in its place, the water from the bucket dumped out, all the while with Amethyst tagging along. 

"What was wrong with it?" She asked. Pearl chuckled. 

"She had to turn it on and off again," She grinned, throwing away the remnants of the cereal box. "She was very upset when it started working after that, saying that 'human technology is fascinating, but so, so stupid.' Her words, not mine." Amethyst laughed. 

"Should've just smacked it a couple times. That always does the trick!" She joked. Pearl guffawed. 

"She would have looked at me like I was crazy if I did that!" 

They both sat back on the couch, Amethyst placing her hands behind her head, feeling relaxed. She didn't know exactly what she was doing, but did she ever? She just knew she was going to take Garnet's advice and roll with it. Not doing so would probably be the stupidest thing Amethyst would ever do. Not taking relationship advice from the living incarnation of a 5752-year-old relationship? Yeah, that'd be pretty dumb. _Relationship?? Woah, hold your horses there._ She just started getting used to these feelings, she didn't need to be thinking like that.

But... That dream...

Amethyst smiled to herself. The dream had felt nice, but did that actually mean she wanted to pursue a relationship out of this? Psssh. No.

_Liar._

"What are you smiling about?" A voice from next to her said abruptly. Amethyst flushed deeply. She had forgot that Pearl was even _there._

"N-nothing! I-I just... I'm feelin' happy... is all..." The purple gem stuttered, looking down at her suddenly very interesting hands. 

"I'm glad," Pearl responded. "I was a bit worried about you actually..."

_What?_

"Really?" Amethyst asked, turning back to look at her friend.

"You seemed to be upset for a couple weeks now," The taller gem noted, frowning a bit. "Is everything alright?"

Amethyst paused, unsure of how to proceed. How was she supposed to tell her that the reason she's been off lately was because of new and weird feelings for her? She knew she wasn't ready to come completely clean, but leaving Pearl with nothing at all wasn't an option, in her mind.

"I just..." She started, looking away again. "Being rejuvenated was... hard... kinda..." 

But it wasn't her rejuvenation that bothered her so much. She could move past that. In fact, it was slightly comforting and helpful for Steven to be her friend during that time. Because of his memory from just a few weeks ago, the years she spent alone in the Kindergarten didn't feel so lonely anymore. Maybe it sucked to be reminded of some of her darkest days, when she would just shapeshift into any animal she came across, but she could deal with that. No, that wasn't what bothered her. 

It was _Pearl's_ rejuvenation.

And suddenly, shockingly, she was flashing back again. Back to the concert. Back to that night. When Amethyst couldn't do anything to get Pearl to come back, to snap out of it. When she could have hurt her, just out of desperation. When that didn't even work. The guilt and pain from that night came flooding back, and Amethyst drowned in it.

"That's... That's not it actually..." Her gaze peered up, meeting Pearl's shining blue eyes. Amethyst squeezed her own shut. 

"I'm sorry!"

She hadn't realized that she said anything until she heard Pearl reply. 

"Sorry? Whatever for, Amethyst?" 

Opening her eyes again, the shorter gem took a breath. 

"Do you... remember the night you got your memories back?" She asked, slowly.

Pearl nodded.

"Do you remember what I _did?_"

"What you did? I'm sorry Amethyst, but what on Earth are you talking ab-"

"I could have _hurt_ you!!" She yelled, interrupting Pearl's question. The taller gem seemed taken aback. Amethyst was a bit taken aback herself.

_Embrace your feelings._

"I... I could have... _ruined_ our friendship... because I was being stupid!" She said, crossing her arms, holding herself. And there it was.

The air in the room seemed like it was sucked out, like a vaccum, leaving nothing but the two of them and silence. The emotions were suffocating her. Pearl looked confused and bewildered, like she didn't get it at all. _Because she didn't._ Amethyst sat there, waiting for impact, waiting for Pearl to tell her how horrible she was. She was waiting for it. It didn't come.

"I-I don't understand... I thought I was the one who should be apologizing to you."

Amethyst stopped, staring at Pearl with wide eyes. She hadn't expected that at all. 

"Wh-what??"

Pearl glanced away, her face downcast.

"I... I called you _wrong,_" She muttered, lacing her fingers together. "I-I said you weren't a good example of what an Amethyst should be, and I meant it... I thought it..."

Amethyst remembered something. Flashing into existence, not understanding where she was, or who she was. A creature, someone who looked like her, but way different, talking to her. Intrigued, she repeated what they said. They seemed shocked. Then, out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone else come around from behind her. They were taller than the other, fair, and slender. They moved fluidly. Amethyst watched them carefully. They were talking about something. They were _pretty._ This new creature was very interesting. At the end of their explanation, they struck some sort of a pose. Not being able to help herself, she copied it. She wanted to mimic someone so fascinating. The other creature, the one that she met first, said at some point that their name was Pearl. It was a pretty name.

Of course, later on, when she got back to herself, Amethyst fully processed the situation, including what Pearl said.

"You mean... The stuff you sang? Back when you kinda acted like a robot?" Amethyst asked. Pearl shifted.

"Yes," She answered. Amethyst gawked. 

"Wait, really? That?? Dude! You were out of your mind! You didn't even know any better, you were just preprogrammed with a bunch of-" Amethyst waved her hands around. "Space junk nonesense! It's not like I'm gonna take it personally... But me?? I don't have any excuse! I was back! I was _me._ And I shapeshifted into-" She stopped herself. 

"Hmm? Rose?" Pearl laughed once, looking back at Amethyst. "You did do that."

"Yeah!! And that was _wrong!!_ That was messed up! I shouldn't have gone that far!"

"Amethyst, you were only trying to help me."

"Okay??" Amethyst felt tears threatening to spill. "Sure, I was only trying to help, but I got too desperate! I hated seeing you like that! You were just so... monotone... And you acted like you didn't matter... And I just wanted you to go back to how you were supposed to be, back to the Pearl I knew!"

Pearl looked at her, surprise etched into her features. She was crying too.

"What if you _had_ remembered?" Amethyst said, softer now, nails digging into her arm. "I know what it's like, coming back from being rejuvenated. You're... confused for the first few seconds. If you remembered, and then saw... Y-you would've-"

"I would have been upset," Pearl interrupted. "But only briefly Amethyst, I would have understood, I still _do!_ It was an adequate price to pay! Did... Did my old form really upset you so much?"

Amethyst paused, expression softening. 

"Well, not the physical part. It was kinda funny to see you in a dress... But otherwise... Yeah. You're usually so full of... emotion... Dramatic, really... To see you feel nothing but devotion for your..." Amethyst gritted her teeth. "_owner..._ It just didn't sit right."

Pearl wiped at her eyes. 

"I'm sorry."

"S'not your fault..."

"It's not yours either."

They sat there, like that, for a few minutes. Pearl was staring somewhere behind Amethyst. The shorter gem blew her hair out of her eyes.

"You know... I've been thinking about that day a lot lately too..." Pearl said unexpectedly, still gazing behind Amethyst. She finally turned to see what her friend was looking at. The painting of Rose stared back at her, hanging above the stairs. 

"Spinel, more specifically," Pearl continued. "I've been thinking about Spinel..."

They caught each others eyes once more, and Pearl sighed. 

"Have you come to the same realization as I have? I... Probably not? Right?" She shuddered. 

Amethyst froze.

"P-Pearl...?"

"It could have been me," The taller gem mumbled, looking down.

"What do you mean?" Amethyst asked, feeling worry pool dreadfully in her gut, like syrup, flowing slowly.

"Did you know that Pink Diamond didn't even like me?" Pearl said, like a statement, like some _fun fact._ "Not until we rebelled for the Earth, anyway... I just reminded her of mistakes she had made... Pearls were so... _disposable..._ What if it had been me? What if she went to earth... A rose quartz soldier... What if she went alone? What if she had discovered the wonders of Earth... without me? She could just as easily told me to wait somewhere, and I would have listened..."

It was here where Amethyst noticed her friend was shaking. A pale hand rose up to rest on her own chest, clutching at the fabric there. 

"She could have abandoned me... Wh-what if she had...? Where would I even be right now?"

"Pearl," Amethyst spoke, looking her in the eye. "She didn't abandon you, and you're right _here,_ with me."

"B-but what if she had? What if I had been left alone?? She could have d-done that to me, Amethyst! She could have-"

And then they were hugging.

Amethyst had launched across the couch towards Pearl, abruptly throwing her arms around Pearl's torso, burying her face into her stomach. The older gem seemed startled by this, but it wasn't the first time Amethyst had given a surprise hug out of nowhere. Slowly but surely, she wrapped her own arms around the younger gem, resting her head in a mane of hair. At some point, she stopped shaking. 

"Stop... talking like that..." Amethyst mumbled, squeezing Pearl tighter.

"I-"

"Just _stop,_" She interrupted, voice muffled by fabric. "You're not Rose, I'm not Rose, _none_ of us are. So why should _we_ worry about what she could or couldn't have done?? What happened is in the past. We had nothing to do with the decisions _she_ made. She made them herself. What happened _isn't_ our faults. You can't do that to yourself, Pearl... You can't just keep thinking a-and thinking until it becomes so much... What we need to do is just... live... and figure out our own stuff..."

"A-Amethyst..." Pearl mumbled, snuggling closer. 

"What you need to do is focus on what kind of person _you_ are... and who you are is..." She stopped herself. 

"Wh-what?" Pearl urged. 

"You... You're _amazing._"

Time seemed to stop, the only sounds were the two of them breathing. _God._ She couldn't believe she just said that. She was such a-

"You r-really mean that?" Pearl questioned softly, her voice barely discernible. 

"Of course I do," Amethyst found herself smiling. "You've always done everything for your friends. And maybe sometimes that wasn't exactly your choice, but even now, you're happy just being there for others when they need you. Y-You're selfless. I wish I was like that..."

"Oh, but Amethyst!" Pearl leaned back to look her in the eyes. "_You're wonderful!_ You're so determined and confident in yourself! I wish _I_ was like _that..._"

"Confident?" Amethyst laughed. "Yeah... Sure..."

"But you are! Maybe a year or two ago you weren't... but now? Even insults just roll off of your shoulders. You always seem to know what you're doing."

"I _never_ know what I'm doing," Amethyst corrected. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, pretty much. I'm a mess..."

"So am I..."

"Isn't everybody?? Imagine some guy just walking around _not_ being a mess! They'd freak me out!"

They both chuckled slightly, Pearl slipping out of the shorter gem's grasp. She missed the warmth, but Amethyst let it happen, grinning at her counterpart. The air didn't seem as heavy anymore. _The dragon was sleeping soundly._

"We should do something," She said suddenly, getting a inquisitive look from Pearl. 

"Like what?" Pearl asked. 

"I dunno... Like, something with just the four of us, like old times..."

Pearl seemed to process that. 

"That would be nice..."

Pearl's eyes were dry, but her cheeks were still wet from tears. Without thinking, Amethyst reached over and gently wiped them away. She blushed furiously when she realized what she did.

"Uh-I- Sorry!" She said, looking down and ripping her hand away, putting the treacherous thing down by her side where she could keep a close eye on it. _Traitor..._

All of a sudden, she felt soft hands cup her face, and she glanced back to see Pearl smile. Thumbs ran underneath Amethyst's eyes, and she sighed involuntarily. The warmth from it poured into her skin, filling herself with more of that _it_ feeling. It felt nice. 

"It's fine... I've already forgiven you," Pearl said, letting her hands rest for a moment before they dropped. She laced her fingers together neatly, setting them in her lap. 

"Me too."

They spent a few seconds just gazing at each other, blue meeting purple, comforted just by each others presence. Amethyst shyly tucked a strand of her hair out of her face. Pearl fidgeted with the ends of her jacket. 

There was a yawn from behind the younger gem, and she whirled around to see Steven stumbling downstairs. Amethyst flushed a rich purple. Why was she so embarrassed? They weren't even doing anything... 

"Remind me not to sleep in jeans..." Steven grumbled, wearing the same outfit from yesterday. She chuckled.

"Not my fault that you passed out on me, bro," She snickered, watching as Steven trudged over towards the bathroom. 

"Yeah? Well... Your shoulder's comfy..." He retorted lamely, rubbing his eye. 

"I concur," Pearl said, side-eyeing Amethyst briefly. The shorter gem blushed again. 

"Hey dude!" Amethyst said, changing the subject. Steven glanced over. "You wanna walk around today? I'll get Garnet to come too." He smiled brightly.

"Sounds great guys..." He replied, strolling the rest of the way toward the bathroom. "Urgh... I need a shower..." 

Pearl slipped off the couch, waltzing towards the kitchen. _"I'll make the coffee!"_ Steven, while dealing with the reformation of an entire empire, had started regularly drinking coffee. Pearl, at first, warned him that drinking caffeinated beverages at his age could stunt his growth, but he didn't listen. Who could blame him? The kid had a lot on his plate. So at some point, she started making it herself, since she was the only one who could get it to taste right. He was thankful. Despite everything, the kid shot up in height anyway, and officially disbanded the shorty squad.

Amethyst watched as Pearl worked, her carefully measuring out the grounds, and filling up the coffee pot with water. As it began to brew, the smell filled the air, causing Amethyst to smile. Even in everyday movements, the older gem had some sort of a graceful way of doing it. It was mesmerizing to watch. 

"I... I'm sorry Amethyst... I probably ruined your day..." She said abruptly. 

"What?? Nah! Not at all!" Amethyst reassured. "Why would you even think that?"

"I thought that... perhaps bringing up such topics today, when you actually seemed to be in a good mood... was a bad move on my part," Pearl replied, leaning back into the counter. 

"Pssh," Amethyst waved her hand like she was dismissing such a notion. "It was something we needed to talk about. I actually feel better getting it off my chest. And... I feel better helping you out, ya know?" The other gem smiled.

"Yes... I know. Thank you, Amethyst."

"Whatever," Amethyst mumbled, shrugging. She blushed, and scratched her neck, trying to act casual. 

As Pearl turned back around to make a mug for Steven, and said boy wandered out of the bathroom and upstairs to get dressed, it occurred to Amethyst that everything would be fine. She had admitted that to herself before, but did she believe it? Probably not entirely, no. But now, as Garnet casually strolled through the door, and Pearl talked to her about today's plans, and Steven ran back downstairs excited as always, she knew that things were back to normal. The sun flitted in through the windows, shining off of Pearl as she handed Steven his coffee, looking calm and tranquil, looking happy. It left Amethyst's knees weak, and she wasn't even standing. 

Well... Everything was _mostly_ normal, anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, whoops I talked about Rose again. _Whoops..._ I did only do it briefly, but I don't think I really dissed her in this chapter, and I needed to mention her when Pearl was confessing. So, yeah, next chapter really shouldn't have anything to do with her. Also, sorry for not updating yesterday for anyone who saw one of my replies saying I would! I had to pull an all-nighter the day before, so yesterday was mostly spent sleeping. Trust me, if I had worked on this chapter while being _that_ sleep deprived, this would have came out very wonky. Even then, I don't really know if I like this chapter, please let me know your thoughts! I wanted Amethyst and Pearl to have this conversation. A little note: I think Amethyst apologized to Greg right after she shapeshifted, so while I think this interaction between them is important, I'm not going to write about it, because that would kinda be out of nowhere and wouldn't really work for the story. Plus, I think it already happened. It might be mentioned at some point, I don't know. I really think Spinel being left behind would have bothered Pearl immensely. I can't imagine her not thinking about it. So here, have some more obligatory characters crying about their feelings, why dontcha? But hey, next chapter should be a change of pace out of that, and more fluffy. So, look forward to that!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. Aim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst spends a day with her friends, and ends up spending some of it happily with Pearl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for 50 kudos!!! I meant to mention this before, but I'll probably end up writing a one shot to thank you guys :)

"So! What should we do first?"

Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven strolled down the shoreline, making their way into Beach City. After a morning Cup O' Joe, they had decided to embark upon their day of adventure. The ocean lapped towards their feet, splashing softly against the sand. The sounds of it were calming, but the group seemed to buzz with eagerness. Steven, clearly excited about the prospect of spending quality time with his friends, was a few steps ahead of them, waiting for a response to his question. Amethyst thought about it for a second, before coming up with a brilliant plan. The plan to end all plans. 

"Well, I don't care as long as it isn't lame," She smirked as she jabbed a thumb towards Pearl, who walking to her right. "So that means _she_ can't suggest anything."

Pearl feigned taking offense, placing a hand over her chest. 

"I'll have you know that I am the exact opposite of lame!" Pearl retorted, grinning devilishly. With a swift motion, the collar of her jacket was promptly flipped up. Cool Pearl: Activated.

"Uh oh!" Amethyst chuckled. "We're in for it now!"

"Let's go..." Pearl seemed to ponder for a second. "Get some donuts. Maybe I'll even... drink a soda pop."

Amethyst couldn't help but snicker at the ridiculousness. Pearl's collar was flipped back down, joining in on the laughter. The shorter gem's gaze shifted to Garnet, who was looking at her with a knowing expression. Amethyst face felt hot, and she promptly looked away. 

"The Big Donut sounds great!" Steven beamed, completely oblivious. 

"Do you think I can beat my record?" Amethyst asked, willing her cheeks to stop burning. 

"Uh, I don't know Amethyst..." Steven replied, looking a bit nervous. "132 donuts is already _a lot..._"

"Nah, I _definitely_ can at least hit 150!" Amethyst argued, flicking some hair out of her face. 

"I swear if you get sick again..." Pearl grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"You'll take care of me?" Amethyst said innocently, putting a finger to her chin and pouting. Pearl actually _blushed._ The younger gem's eyebrows raised. _That was new..._

"Well, I won't be paying," Garnet interrupted, shrugging her shoulders. When Amethyst looked towards her, the taller gem didn't even flinch. Dude, she just saved them from an awkward situation with her friggin' mind powers. She was the best wingman _ever._

"I probably won't do it today, actually," Amethyst said. "It would take a ton of preparation, and plus, I already ate."

"Oh yeah, speaking of which, _thank you_ for eating all of the cereal, Amethyst," Steven groused, putting his hands on his hips.

"Tch! It's not my fault you left that cereal box all sad and alone! I had to comfort it Steven!" Amethyst retaliated. 

"Ugh, you should have seen her this morning," Pearl said with a smile. "She _spat_ milk all over herself!"

"I can't believe you would betray me like this Pearl," Amethyst pretended to wipe away a tear. "I thought you were my friend. Oh! The pain of treachery!"

She dramatically collapsed in front of Pearl, hand splayed across her forehead. The taller gem nearly tripped over her. 

"Urk!" She exclaimed in shock. "Amethyst!"

"Hey! Check it out, the Big Donut's right in front of us!" Steven exclaimed, gesturing forwards. The little bakery could now be seen around the cliff-side, only about 20 meters away. Amethyst shot back up. 

"Yes!!" She whooped, taking off towards the place. "Last one there is a rotten egg!"

"Oh no you don't!" Steven yelled, bolting towards Amethyst with an astonishing speed. 

Yeah, this was exactly what she missed. Just good times of being carefree and reckless because there wasn't a huge galactic dictatorship to deal with. She felt pride swell in her chest when Steven passed her. The rascal was still faster than her. She didn't mind at all. The wind blew, her hair flying behind her in zips of light purple. Sometimes it felt nice to lose, especially when the kid winning deserved it.

Steven huffed when he finally reached his destination, gripping onto the hand railing. Amethyst reached it a couple seconds later, breathing along with him. _Man, that felt good._

"Guess I'm a big, stinky egghead now huh?" Amethyst asked, stretching a bit. Steven seemed to think for a moment.

"Nah, you're still cool," He decided. She laughed, turning to see the other two a bit far away. She waved at them frantically like a total nerd. Garnet waved back, and Pearl seemed to chuckle in the distance, shaking her head. Amethyst wondered what they might be talking about.

Once the others finally arrived, the whole group strolled into the bakery side-by-side. 

The Big Donut looked mostly the same as it used to, with a few new shiny decorations here and there, a couple tables, and a new paint job which decked out the main area in soft pinks and yellows. The menu was pretty much entirely different as well, with less fast-food and more specialty baked goods. The freezers that once held Lion Lickers and other convenience store goodies were now full of homemade cakes and treats. Lars had really done up the place recently.

The man himself stood behind the counter, cleaning it with a sort of vigor you wouldn't have seen from him three years ago. Padparadscha sat on the counter as well, swinging her legs as they hung off the edge. Lars' head raised at the sound of the bell dinging in the doorway. 

"Steven!" He exclaimed, grinning genuinely, putting away the old rag he was using to wipe the counter. "What's up man?" 

"This is a robbery!" Steven responded, giving him a finger gun. "For all your desserts!" 

"Ohh!" Lars waved his hands, speaking with a rather mocking tone. "I'm so scared!"

Steven chuckled to himself, proud of his antics, and leaned against the front counter casually. Amethyst stood a foot away, crossing her arms nonchalantly. Garnet appeared to be studying the menu. Pearl waltzed over to one of the freezers, gazing at the confectioneries inside. Amethyst noticed how her features reflected off of the glass and blushed, looking away. 

"What do you got that's new?" Steven asked, glancing over at the smaller gem sitting on the counter, greeting her with a small wave. "Hey Padparadscha!"

"Oh! I have a new prediction!" She exclaimed suddenly, staring at no where in particular. "Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl will be visiting this morning! How exciting! I have missed them dearly!" 

"Thanks 'Scha," Amethyst remarked coolly. 

"We missed you too," Garnet beamed.

"Weeelll..." Lars began, walking away to shout something into the back of the store, turning around again to address Steven. "I've got a new blueberry bread, a new maple-glazed apple cookie, and new bacon-chocolate donuts!"

This is where Amethyst interrupted. 

"I'm sorry, you got _what_ donuts??" She exclaimed, slamming her hands on the counter. 

"Chocolate bacon donuts!" Lars repeated. "It's a chocolate donut, covered in a specialty chocolate glaze that incorporates bacon grease, with bacon bits sprinkled on top."

Amethyst could feel her heart stop. Was this a dream? Was he _God?_

"Gimme gimme!" Amethyst shouted like a child who wanted candy. Steven chuckled. 

"We'll take a dozen of those... two cinnamon swirl muffins... Garnet what do you want?" He turned towards the taller gem. 

"Hmm..." She pondered for a moment. "A slice of strawberry-blueberry pie, please."

Amethyst nearly rolled her eyes. Of course.

"Pearl?" Steven called, and they all turned to look towards her. She shifted, captivated by the cakes in the freezer. 

"Ehhh..." She said, cringing a bit. "Just some water, thank you."

"Hello Steven!" Padparadscha then replied. "Have you heard Sadie's newest song? I cannot stop listening to it!"

"No, actually I haven't," He answered, watching as Lars wrote the order down. "How is she anyway?"

"Sadie?" Lars queried, ripping the order out of the notebook. "The donuts will be a minute, we haven't finished a batch yet."

"That's fine."

"Cool. So Sadie's actually coming over to visit in a few days!" Lars paused, turning away from the counter briefly, cupping a hand around his mouth. "BILL!!"

"Oh is she? That's great! Does she have a show here?" Steven questioned as the previous mayor came bumbling out of the back room. 

"Here you go Bill, make sure that you remember the whipped cream this time," Lars said, handing the order over to him. "A small one, yeah. She didn't get to properly play here last time because the world was kinda ending, so she wanted to make up for it... Also, why does no one ever tell me the world is ending?" 

"Don't you have the app?" Steven asked.

"...There's an app now...?"

"Yo!" Amethyst interrupted. "You think she needs a drummer again? I'd be happy to jam!" 

"Not sure, I'll ask," Lars stated simply, shrugging his shoulders. "You know, she really wants to have one good concert before she goes on tour again. I'm... gonna miss her..." He sighed.

"You think she'll play your _favorite_ song?" Steven teased, leaning over the counter. Lars blushed. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about Steven," He said, seemingly annoyed. 

"You know," Steven continued, smirking. "The one she wrote about you?" 

The song he was referring to was something Sadie wrote about a year ago, when Lars finally got over himself and she trusted him enough again. The song talked about heartbreak and betrayal and change. About the pink-haired boy from space who cared again. It was the song that got the two to talk it out and have them actually start officially dating.

"I don't know! Whatever! Maybe! Who cares??" Lars said quickly, fiddling with his apron. 

_Aw, that was sweet._

"I..." He continued. "I'm a-actually thinking about doing something... But I need some advice..."

Steven gasped loudly, gripping the counter. 

"You're gonna _propose??_" He shouted. Lars' eyes shot out of his head, his face very distinctively red. 

"WHAT?? _NO!!_ Neither of us are ready for something like that!!" He objected, waving his hands around. "It's just that this is her first big tour!! And I wanted to get her something! Something really special, you know? But I have no idea where to even start!"

"Hmmm," Steven put his hand to his chin. "That _is_ a tricky one."

The both of them seemed to process this, trying to come up with different ideas for something really nice. Flowers? Jewelry? A fruit basket?

"Bake her something," Amethyst found herself saying, eyes widening when she realized she did. Both Lars and Steven looked at her strangely, like hadn't expected her to say anything. 

"I mean... I've done that before though...?" Lars mumbled.

"N-no I mean like..." Amethyst countered. "She wrote you a song, right? So... Bake her something that's completely inspired by her, ya know? And then reveal it here as a surprise!" 

"Woah! You could dedicate the whole day to her Lars! And hold an official event her for it!" Steven gasped. "That would be so cute!!"

"That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?? What do you guys think it should be? I'm already thinking a kind of muffin, with something green? Maybe mint? No! Apple! No!"

As Lars continued to gab on and on, Amethyst glanced over at Pearl, who was still staring in the freezer. _Maybe she should do something like that for her..._

Suddenly, there was a gasp from in front of her, catching Amethyst's attention. 

"How adorable!" Padparadscha resounded, placing a hand over her chest, and the other on her cheek. Amethyst froze. "I predict that Amethyst will give Lars some romantic advice! And, I predict that she will be thinking of someone special as she does!" 

_Did she just...?_

Amethyst's hands suddenly felt very sweaty. 

But it turns out no one was paying attention. Steven was still gabbing along with Lars about the prospect of a Sadie muffin, and more importantly, Pearl was still looking at something in the freezer. Garnet, however, was giving Amethyst another knowing smile. She decided to ignore that, and looked around for something to distract her from the embarrassment. She finally wandered over to see what Pearl was doing.

The taller gem stood there, the glass softly reflecting pinks and blues, peering inside the freezer with an intense concentration, as if she were studying it's contents.

"What's up?" Amethyst asked, sidling next to her. Pearl jumped slightly, surprised. 

"Oh!" She said, fidgeting a bit. "I was just... admiring the cakes?"

Turning to look, Amethyst gazed at the multiple sweets, mostly white with accents of other colors. The first one that caught her eye had "Happy Birthday" written neatly across it in orange. 

"Yeah, they're pretty neat," Amethyst shrugged. Abruptly, she got an idea, and smiled. "Hey, wanna see something cool?"

"Sure," Pearl answered. Amethyst took this as an invitation to open the freezer door. 

A chill wormed it's way into the air, surrounding the two gems. It was slightly uncomfortable, but they were made to withstand much more extreme temperatures, so neither reacted. Steadily, Amethyst began writing on the inside of the glass, tracing shapes into the condensation. It was just her name in messy capital letters, nothing more. When she was finished, she took a step back and grinned. Pearl seemed amused. 

"You know," She said, leaning forward a bit. "If you write backwards, people will be able to read it when you close the door."

The older gem began writing something of her own, a slender finger curling into the glass, moving with a precise nature, slower and more sure of itself. Her handwriting was neater, elegant even though she was writing in reverse. Pearl looked like she was in a world of her own. Amethyst stared. 

"See?" Pearl smiled, gesturing for Amethyst to move back. The door shut on its own, allowing the two to admire their work. 

_TƧYHTƎMA_  
_and_  
_Pearl_

Amethyst flushed at the implications of the writing, her stomach churning. Pearl didn't seem to notice.

Then, to Amethyst's left, the room to the back swung open, a delicious smell wafting through the air. She suddenly remembered why she was there. 

"Yes!!" She exclaimed, zooming back over to the counter. The Rutile twins carried a couple to-go bags and a box in their hands, walking up and handing them to Lars, promptly turning and heading into the back again. The box was ripped out of his hands by the very eager Amethyst.

While Steven paid, Amethyst delved into the box with determination, grabbing a donut and shoving it into her mouth. 

_Bliss._

The donut was somehow the perfect combo of sweet and salty. The savoriness of the bacon blended beautifully with the delicateness of the chocolate, creating a world of its own.

"Oh mah Goh 'ar," She said, trying to speak with her mouth full. She swallowed. "Oh my God Lars! These are the friggin' best!"

Lars puffed up at the compliment. Steven smiled.

"C'mon guys," He started, heading towards the door. "There's still a ton of Beach City to explore!"

They all began to make their way out, when a particular voice caught their attention. 

"Oh! A new prediction! I predict that Steven will receive his order, and that Amethyst will-" Padparadscha cut herself off. "Wait! Does that mean that they're leaving soon?? Goodbye everyone!"

With that, she waved with her gemmed hand, leaving the others to chuckle, and leaving Amethyst to breathe a sigh of relief. No more predictions that revealed _way_ too much about the current situation. 

"Bye guys!" Steven replied, bouncing out the door. The others soon followed, and it was just them again. 

✩★✩★✩★✩

The individual snacks were distributed, while Amethyst was on her eighth donut. Garnet seemed to moderately enjoy the pie. While she didn't particularly like eating, the fusion did tend to enjoy sweets. Pearl sipped on her water to fit in. Steven ate a muffin before bubbling the other one for later. He had started making it a habit to bubble his own leftovers, since Amethyst would just eat them if they were properly put away in a cabinet.

"So!" Steven began, brushing his hands together to get rid of any crumbs. "Where to next?" 

The group seemed to ponder that as they wandered down the boardwalk.

"Pearl got to decide last time," Garnet said, matter-of-factly.

"Ooo!" He enunciated, gesturing with his hands in emphasis. "Guys. How about each of us gets to choose one thing to do today?"

The suggestion sounded pretty cool. Except...

"Yeah but like..." Amethyst fidgeted with her hands. "Was Pearl's suggestion even a legit suggestion? She was kinda just joking around earlier..."

"Oh, Amethyst, I don't mind at all!" Pearl smiled, resting a hand on her shoulder. Amethyst's brain froze. "I appreciate your defense, but really, I'm just happy being here." The hand left as quickly as it came.

"D-ditto," Amethyst mumbled. 

"Okay then, who gets to decide next?" Steven asked. 

It was then that the shortest gem saw a particular building coming up on her right. She grinned, stars forming in her eyes. 

"Let's go to the arcade!!" She suggested, feeling excited. "Last time I was there, I got enough tickets to win a kayak! I gave it to Lapis! She said she didn't like it! Isn't that cool??" 

"Ehh..." Steven mumbled. "Last time we were all there together, we kinda broke multiple games and Garnet got all weird?"

"It's fine Steven," Garnet said, adjusting her visor. "I can use my future vision to figure out which games I shouldn't play. I know what to look out for now."

Amethyst bounced on her heels.

"Oh my God can we Steven?? Please???" She begged, practically getting down on her knees. The teenager sighed. 

"Yeah, alright. You look excited, anyways."

Amethyst started cheering, pumping her fist in the air and taking off towards the arcade. Her hair blew wildly behind her as she sprinted. She wondered what game she would play first. It would have to be something multiplayer! The others didn't even bother keeping up with her. 

She was the first one in, of course, skidding to a halt some few feet into the entrance. The light of the arcade machines cast a hazy purple-blue tone throughout the place, bouncing off of the neon shapes in the carpet in an almost nauseating way. Speaking of nauseating, that was the primary smell. 50-year-old vomit that could never really be scrubbed out the place. It was absolutely disgusting. Amethyst loved it. 

Peering around at the games, there were quite a few choices she had. Narrowing it down to only the ones she could play with a friend didn't help very much, since that was practically all the games in there. She decided to look primarily at the ones she hadn't been able to beat before. This wasn't a lot of the games, since she had culminated a lot of spare time into figuring out how she could rig each individual game, most times not even needing to 'play' the game at all. There was only a few she had to beat legitimately, and those were the easier ones. Considering her choices, she finally landed on a game that met her criteria. 

The rest of the crew caught up with her at this point, filing in beside her. She grinned in an easy sort of sense, crossing her arms on her chest. 

"I know exactly what game I want to play," She announced, feeling pleased with herself. "Follow me."

She casually strolled through the maze of brightly flashing images and joysticks, the others following her in a sort of silent excitement. She lead them up to a larger screen, with four docked guns in holsters in front of it. It was a first-person-shooter styled game, about a race of aliens trying to take over the planet. The player had to shoot them with some sort of green slime. Amethyst didn't question what it was that made the slime work, it was a video game. Lime colored letters at the top of the screen spelled out "Slime Time 2: The Takeover." The game was kind of stupid, and the plot didn't really make sense from what Amethyst could tell, it mostly being focused on character designs (unrealistically attractive character designs, at that, or entirely grotesque designs). 

"Voilà!" Amethyst exclaimed, presenting the game to her friends. "It's a four person multiplayer!"

"I almost feel like I should be offended by this," Pearl mentioned, eyeing the unsightly representation of impeding aliens running amok. "But, gemkind did commit the same acts, so I can't really blame them."

Thinking about it now, yeah, Amethyst could see her point. The aliens in the game looked really gross, bug-like with a weird mucus thing going on. But hey, she never questioned it herself, it was a video game. 

"Yeah, whatever," Amethyst said, brushing it off. She picked up one of the guns, waving it around. It had a weird bubbly shape to it, painted bright green. "But it's fun."

Garnet seemed to decide something right then, shifting a bit. 

"I can't play this game," She said. 

Damn. And she had gone through all the trouble of deciding.

"Aw, really?" Amethyst frowned, putting the gun back into its holder. Garnet nodded. 

"Yes, but it's alright. I'll go look for another game, and you three can play," She offered, just about to start heading off. 

"Wait! No. Garnet," Steven piped, stopping Garnet in her tracks. "I can play something with you!" 

"That's a great idea, Steven," The fusion replied, almost too quickly. "Then it's decided." 

"Here guys," Steven said, digging out a bag from his pocket. Opening it, it was full of quarters. Looks like he came prepared. He placed a generous handful of quarters on part of the game setup. "I'll see you in a bit." They walked off pretty much right after that.

"Okay, I guess," Amethyst shrugged, looking at Pearl. "Guess you'll be my number two?"

Suddenly, Amethyst realized _exactly_ the reason Garnet couldn't play this game. Her eyes widened. 

_Garnet was a great wingman._

"Looks like it," Pearl said simply, turning towards the game.

Amethyst gripped her gun, using its aim and trigger to select items on the screen. Pearl entered her own quarters to add player two to the game.

"Oh hey!" She began, hovering over an option. "Since it's just the two of us, we have the option to dual wield!" Pearl chuckled. 

"With pleasure," She remarked, smirking while picking up both weapons with an air of determination surrounding her. Amethyst grinned.

"You sure you don't wanna pick a game with swords instead?" She teased, picking up her second gun. Pearl laughed, a wonderful noise that made Amethyst's head feel fuzzy for a second. 

"You'll be eating your words, Amethyst," She retaliated, easily twirling the lightweight pistol around her finger. The wire, attached to the end of it, whipped around wildly, smacking her in the face after a few seconds. _"Ack!"_

Amethyst burst into uproarious laughter, clutching her stomach. 

"Y-yeah Pearl, I got it," She said breathlessly. Pearl scoffed.

"That was _only_ because of the-"

"I'm starting the game, P."

Pearl quickly stopped and looked at the screen, shifting to place her feet firmly on the ground. It was some sort of specialized stance. She was probably trained to stand like that when handling weapons of that caliber. _Nerd._ Despite it all, Amethyst found herself dumbstruck, and staring again.

Aiming the gun at the _start_ option, Amethyst saw a glint in Pearl's eyes. She turned away, intending to focus on the game and not on the incredible gem that was standing right next to her and dear _God_ why was she so flustered all of a sudden? She shook her head, forcing herself to focus. 

Of course Pearl started kicking her butt. 

While the game wasn't a versus, and was focused on a collaboration between the players, they had their own individual scores. Pearl's score seemed to be skyrocketing upwards, while Amethyst's only slowly ascended. It made sense. While Pearl's main choice of weapon was a sword or a spear, she had been trained in nearly every type of weapon available. Most gems were, that's how it was for the war. But Pearl specifically had an affinity toward learning how to fight, and became exceptionally good at anything she could get her hands on. Amethyst was never a part of the war. She wasn't very skilled at wielding anything other than a whip, really. She had tried once to use a sword, but either she was too small to wield such a big and clunky weapon, or the sword was hilariously small (more of a knife at that point, really). Even then, she just wasn't very good at it. That went for other types of weapons as well. Not to mention, her aim was shit. It was obvious that when they fused into Opal, most of the gem's ability to shoot arrows had come from Pearl. 

So Pearl was doing better. But Amethyst didn't care. She was having a good time anyway. 

"Oh my God make sure you get that alien behind you!!"

"Behind me??"

And Player Two was dead, marking their first death of the game. It seemed that while Pearl was significantly better at shooting, she ended up leaving herself open for attack.

"Game over? What do you _mean_ game over?? You're supposed to face your enemies head on! That wasn't even fair of them!!"

"Pearl! Shut up and put the quarters in or you won't be able to get back in the game!!"

As they ascended the levels, they were getting further into the game than Amethyst ever had. Each level became increasingly difficult, require an intense amount of concentration and cooperation to play. 

"Amethyst! I'm going into the burning building to save the human baby!" 

"I'll cover you!"

"... This game is particularly gruesome."

Eventually, Steven and Garnet came back to watch. Amethyst hadn't registered how much time had passed, but apparently it was significant enough. When their friends realized that they were still on the same game and found them, they began to cheer them on. Steven was much louder and more energized, but Garnet still threw in a whoop here and there. Amethyst's fingers hurt from rapidly shooting, but they were going to _fucking_ win now. There was no going back. 

The pile of quarters was dwindling quickly, the two reviving more times than either would like to admit. Soon enough, they were frantically trying to get back in before the other succumbed to the same fate. This proved to be tough, but both of them refused to give up. The cheers slowly turned into Steven screaming for joy. _"You guys can do it! This is so cool!!"_ A crowd of Beach City residents began to pool around them. This was probably the most exciting thing they'd seen all week. A couple of them placed bets on whether or not they thought they'd be able to win. A particular resident was recording a video for his blog. 

After several minutes of trepidation, they made it to level ten. The final level. The final boss. 

Amethyst started at the screen. They had about 30 seconds until they had to press continue. She took a few seconds to breathe, seeing Pearl stretching out of the corner of her eye. She looked at their scores so far. Pearl was a landslide ahead. Amethyst frowned. It wasn't her own score that upset her, but more of the fact that she knew they wouldn't be able to beat the boss level. They had nearly lost the last level, making it out by the skin of their teeth. She knew for a fact the next level was twice as hard. The timer ticked down. _26, 25, 24..._ She knew she had to come up with some sort of a plan, and fast. They'd never beat the boss at their rate. After all, Amethyst's aim was shit. 

Wait...

Her aim was shit!! _That's it!_

"Pearl!" She yelled, slipping her guns into their holsters. She extended a hand, facing towards her friend. _"Fuse with me!"_

Pearl's face flushed blue, looking slightly embarrassed. She looked at Amethyst with wide eyes. 

"Er... Is now really the time for that?" She asked, giggling a bit. 

"Yeah!" Amethyst replied. "If we fuse, our strengths will mash together. We'll have a way better aim _and_ we'll die way less! If we fuse, we can totally win this thing!" 

Pearl seemed to register all of this, face scrunched up in thought for a few seconds. _12, 11, 10..._

"Only if you want to, Pearl," Amethyst added. "Either way, we'll try our best!"

Pearl grinned. 

"Of course we will! Let's do this! Let's fuse!" She beamed, freeing a hand to clasp it into Amethyst's. 

_4, 3, 2..._

Opal started the level. 

She took a gun in each hand, handling them carefully as she stared at the screen. _Garnet_ was the one who screamed this time.

The boss was a larger version of the aliens they had to fight in the other levels. She towered above buildings, looking quite slimy and spider-like. She was totally freaky looking. Opal dodged her easily, swift and graceful. It was difficult for her to remember to keep an eye on both players split-screens, but even then, she was right on her toes. The sound of the crowd behind her pierced the air. Steven and Garnet were both losing it, and one particular man in the back was screaming about his blog. Coupling the noise with the fact that her existing felt incredible, Opal could barely think straight. But with one final blow, the boss let out a horrific shriek. 

The creature tumbled over dramatically, crushing some skyscrapers, and most likely causing an earthquake. Opal wouldn't know, for the words _The End_ appeared on screen instead. 

The audience screamed for them, some applauding, some crying. It was a beautiful sight. She won. _They_ won. Opal felt her body give way. 

Soon Amethyst was right back to where she started, staring up at Pearl amidst the celebration. Once they both realized that they finished the game, they began to laugh, bright and happy. 

Amethyst without even thinking, picked Pearl right up off the ground. The taller gem made a surprised noise, before quickly continuing to laugh again. Amethyst twirled her through the air. 

"We did it!" She shouted, spinning around, without a care in the world. "We-"

She suddenly realized what she was doing. 

Pearl seemed to realize it too. 

They both froze, the crowd continuing to cheer. Something fluttered in between them, nearly indistinguishable, and Amethyst thought it was saying something. Unspoken words, and unspoken emotions. 

The moment was interrupted by the machine next to them, quickly spurting out tickets. Another look at the screen and- yep. They had just won 10,000 of the suckers. 

As Pearl was gently set down, Amethyst decided on something. 

She turned towards the crowd. 

_"Who wants tickets??"_

✩★✩★✩★✩

Amethyst strolled down the boardwalk with her friends, feeling giddy. 

"That was so awesome! The boss lady was all like BOOM! And Opal was all like _BOOM!!_" She effused, feeling completely pumped. 

"We definitely did very well, I believe," Pearl said calmly, chuckling to herself. 

The sun was high in the sky now, casting its rays upon the city dwellers. The gems had played a few more games together back at the arcade, Steven even getting to beat Amethyst in one of the racing games. She totally let him win. After that, they resolved to go ahead and decide on something else to do. 

"I can't believe you gave away all those tickets," Steven said. 

"Aw c'mon I was feeling nice!" Amethyst grinned. "Plus I've got like, two of every one of those prizes in my room. I really didn't need them."

"It was very nice of you to do that, Amethyst," Pearl praised, putting a hand on the smaller gem's shoulder. _Did Pearl use to touch her that much? She swore she didn't use to do that..._

"Yeah..." Amethyst blushed from the compliment, hyper-aware of the fingers on her shoulder. "Thanks."

The hand didn't leave this time, even though logically, it probably should have. Since the group was walking side-by-side down the boardwalk, it made the situation a bit awkward, with her shoulder shifting as she walked and all that. Still, it was a nice feeling, the softness of it, the delicate way it rested there, the warmth it etched down her arm and into her fingers, which she tapped nervously against her leg. So she didn't complain, wanting to hold onto this moment for as long as it lasted. 

"Who gets to choose next?" Steven asked, snapping Amethyst out of her daze. The hand still remained, however. "I've already got something in mind, but we would have to do it later, so can I go last?"

"Sure Steve-O," Amethyst shrugged accidentally, and the hand left. _Shit._

"That would mean it's my turn," Garnet pointed out, smiling about something. 

"Yeah! Got any ideas?" Steven grinned. 

Garnet contemplated for a moment. 

"We should go to Funland," She suggested simply. 

"Cool! Funland it is then," Steven replied. And it was decided. 

The team made their way towards the amusement park, Amethyst getting slightly excited. She didn't like Funland as much as Funland arcade, but it was definitely something she enjoyed. The roller coasters were always a blast. There were plenty of memories made there, as well. The shorty squad may have disbanded, but she would always remember the times they spent there. 

As they continued to walk, the large sign identifying the place came into view. Children ran around haphazardly, jumping and skipping and generally having a grand ol' time. It made Amethyst smile. Even from a significant distant away, the shrieks and hollers could be heard, puncturing the air. Yeah, this place was definitely as fun as she had remembered. 

When they finally arrived at the entrance, Steven was practically bouncing with energy. 

"What ride should we go on first??" He asked, clearly ecstatic. It made Amethyst's heart swell, seeing him act like a kid. He _was_ still just a kid, he deserved to have moments like this. 

"What about a coaster?" She suggested, peering over at one that wasn't too far from the entrance to the park. 

"That sounds great to me!" Steven looked at the other two. "Garnet? Pearl?" 

"Sounds fun," Garnet said. 

"Hmm," Pearl hummed, raising a finger. "How about you three go on ahead while I hold onto the cellular devices!" 

Amethyst frowned, feeling bad. She didn't just wanna leave her behind. 

"Nah," Amethyst said. "How about both me and P stick down here and watch the phones or whatever? We'll all take turns riding different rides so none of us has to be alone."

"Oh please, Amethyst," Pearl piped. "I can handle a few minutes by myself."

"Don't worry about it, I've already made up my mind," Amethyst asserted, waving her hand dismissively. "Today's family day, so we aren't gonna be hanging around by ourselves, you hear?"

Pearl smiled softly. 

"If that's what you want," She mumbled. 

By now, they had already crossed the distance over to the roller coaster. Steven handed over his phone, thanking Pearl before leaving. He didn't even need to shape-shift to go on anymore. Amethyst was so proud of him. Garnet looked back and gave her a thumbs up before heading into the ride's line. Amethyst had a feeling she was once again setting something up for her and Pearl. Her and her damn future vision.

"This ride will probably take them a few minutes," Pearl said, turning towards the younger gem. "We could do something while we wait."

Amethyst thought about that, looking around at the multiple different rides and booths. They couldn't go on a ride, since they were holding onto precious items. Perhaps Pearl could have stored them in her gem, but ever since the one "phone getting lost in her gem" incident, she had decided against putting unnecessary items in there for convenience. All that left was the booths.

"Well, what about that?" She asked, pointing to a booth a small distance away from the coaster. It was one of those simple ball toss games, where you had to knock down all the bottles or pins. Pearl simply nodded, and began walking towards it, Amethyst quickly following behind.

Pearl stopped in her tracks when they could properly see the prizes. 

"L-look at the _size_ of that!" She exclaimed, eyes wide. 

What she was referring to was the main prize, a ginormous snake, that had to be at _least_ 15 feet long. It hung from the ceiling of the booth. It was a muted shade of green, with purple diamonds running down it's back. It looked very soft. It was incredible. 

"It's Party Guy!" Amethyst said, grinning widely. 

"It's... so inconvenient," Pearl mumbled. 

"Dude, I am so going to win Party Guy for you," Amethyst stated, matter of factly. 

"Wh-what would I even do with something like that??" Pearl shuddered. 

"I don't know, but consider it yours!" 

Amethyst began walking towards the booth again, Pearl stumbling behind her. 

"Where would I even put that thing??" Pearl asked, trying to reason with Amethyst. 

"It could like, guard your room or something," The younger gem suggested. "Maybe it's a sea snake!" 

"A-Amethyst..."

They were already there, the shorter gem banging her fists on the counter. Mr. Smiley appeared out of nowhere, seeming to rise out of the very floor itself. 

"What can I do for you?" He asked. 

"What do I gotta do for the snake?" Amethyst's tone indicated an unusual amount of seriousness for something so un-serious. 

"Well," Mr. Smiley began, grabbing three baseballs from below the counter. "You'll have to knock down all three towers in your first throw!"

The pins were separated into three towers, one in the center, and the other two over in the far left and right. Each tower had three pins. 

"That's impossible, guy," Amethyst grumbled. 

"Anything's possible if you put your mind to it!"

She rolled her eyes, but she was going to win that snake for Pearl, God damn it all. 

"How much?"

"Five bucks a pop!"

_Yikes._

Amethyst rummaged through her 'shirt', procuring a few five dollar bills. She slammed one down. 

"Hit me," She demanded. 

Pearl looked onward with an intense sense of nervousness in her gaze. It was palpable in the air. 

Technically, she got three balls per try, but since her sights were dead set on getting the largest prize, she would have to pay for each shot regardless. Each and every one counted. She backed up a bit, eyeing the booth for the best possible way to throw the ball. _Maybe at an angle?_ She shifted closer to the left side of the booth, facing it so the ball would enter at a sharp angle and hit the closest tower first. She drew her arm back, and-

She knocked down a singular pin. 

Whoops, looks like she forgot her aim was shit. 

She cursed at herself, and looked at Mr. Smiley with a scowl. He beamed at her. 

"You still have two shots left!" He said. 

"No," Amethyst replied. "I'm getting the snake. I'm paying for a first shot again." She slammed a second bill on the counter, and the man behind it took it quickly, as if she would change her mind. 

"Amethyst, y-you really don't have to-" Pearl started. 

"Party guy here I come," She interrupted, heading backwards to her throwing spot. She decided to aim for the pile furthest from her this time. The ball collided with the pins. 

She knocked down one tower this time. 

"Well," Mr. Smiley chirped. "You won a sticker sheet so far!" 

She growled, begrudgingly putting down another five dollar bill. Her last one. 

Going back to her spot, she tried to think of how she was going to get one ball to hit all three piles at the same time. From what she could tell, no matter what tower she aimed for, there was no way to get it to hit the other ones. That's when it hit her.

She wasn't _supposed_ to aim directly for the towers. 

She grinned, looking at the wall opposite her of the booth. If she could get this just right for once... Please aim, don't fail her now. 

She threw the ball as hard as she could, hoping it would gain enough momentum to do what she wanted. It hit the wall of the booth, bouncing back at precisely the right angle, hitting the first pile, then the second, and then the third. It had nearly hit Mr. Smiley, but he managed to swerve out of the way just in time. 

Amethyst whooped, running back over to the booth counter. 

"Hand it over, Bucko!" She yelled, hands outstretched. 

"B-but," Mr. Smiley paused. "That was supposed to be impossible!" 

_So he admits it._

"Well sir," Pearl said, leaning over the counter and looking quite smug. "Look like you were... _hiss-taken!_"

_Oh my God._

Amethyst fell for her all over again right then and there. 

"Pearl, that was terrible," She said, cackling at the stupid pun. The taller gem chuckled alongside her. 

"Well, you won it, fair and square," Mr. Smiley sighed, reaching up to lift the gigantic stuffed animal off of the top. "Here you go, kid."

When the snake collided with her small form, she hadn't expected it to be so _heavy._ She toppled backwards, completely submerged. 

"Aah! Help me!!" She cried, wiggling desperately. Pearl laughed at her struggles. 

"I told you it was too big!" She said, picking the stuffed animal up by it's head. 

"You never said that!" Amethyst replied, worming her way out of the pile. 

"I most certainly did!" 

"Did not!"

They were both laughing at this point, carrying the giant thing by Pearl holding it at the front and Amethyst holding it at the back. They celebrated another victory of the day.

"Thank you, Amethyst," Pearl stated quietly. 

"No problem," She answered.

Steven and Garnet were just getting off the roller coaster by the time they got back, and the teenager guffawed at the sight of the snake. 

"What even happened??" Was the first thing he asked. 

"I don't really know," Pearl admitted. "But apparently, Amethyst won Party Guy for me."

"Here," Garnet offered. "I can carry it."

The two of them agreed, passing the snake over to the fusion. Due to her impressive height, the snake managed to hang around her shoulders and just _barely_ touch the ground. Amethyst was satisfied. 

"Protect him with your life," She joked, mocking a somber tone. Steven chuckled.

The next ride, which was the teacups, Steven and Pearl opted out of. Steven because the ride just made him feel nauseous, and Pearl because she didn't understand the ride at all. The next one, Steven and Amethyst rode. The next one, Amethyst and Pearl, and so on and so forth. The one's who would stay off of the ride would guard Party Guy and play other booths for more prizes, but they were very small and insignificant compared to the glory of the snake. Garnet carried it all while the four of them walked around. At some point, they stopped to get some carnival food, having not eaten since that morning. Amethyst was chowing down on an extra-large cotton candy when Garnet looked up to the sky. 

"The sun is setting," She pointed out. The rest of them looked up, and indeed, the afternoon was departing. "We will have to leave soon."

Amethyst and Steven both made a disappointed noise, but understood why. Funland was a bit of a walk from their house, and they wanted to be relatively close to home before it got dark. 

"How about just one more ride? One all four of us can go on?" Steven suggested, putting his hands in his pocket. Garnet nodded. 

"Just one more," She repeated. She thought for a moment. "How about the Ferris Wheel?"

"That?" Amethyst complained. "But it's so slow and boring!"

"I foresee that you will enjoy it, Amethyst," Garnet responded, her visor shining in the light. Amethyst couldn't argue with that. 

"Okay, whatever," She shrugged, walking with them towards the chosen ride. It loomed high above her. 

Unfortunately, there was a limit of only two per cabin, but Garnet just smiled. 

"You and Pearl take this one. Steven and I will ride in the next one," She said.

Amethyst almost screamed at this point. Garnet once again came up with the perfect plan to get her and Pearl alone. It had been happening all day, and yet Amethyst was still taken off guard every time it happened. 

"After you," Pearl said politely, waiting for Amethyst to climb in. She did just that, and the taller gem slipped in beside her, closing the small door behind them. 

The Ferris wheel shifted forward a bit, allowing for Steven and Garnet to clamber on as well. This happened two more times, to fill the rest of the Ferris wheel with passengers, before it actually started to go. 

As Amethyst rose into the sky, she began to be able to make out more and more of the city below her. She could clearly see the hill of the temple in the distance, and marveled at the sight of it. She could see tiny people walking around in the streets, watching them curiously. 

"Wow," She muttered. "It's kinda cool up here."

"Isn't it?" Pearl responded, reminding Amethyst of her presence. 

She turned to look at the taller gem, and her breath hitched. 

Pearl was cast in an orange glow, softening the pink of her hair and highlighting the contrast of her eyes, which sparkled as she gazed at the sights below her. It was super cheesy, and super gross, but Amethyst couldn't help but notice. The older gem's hair bristled slightly in the breeze, and she just looked so comfortable, so happy sitting there with Amethyst that she almost believed it was because of her being there with her. Pearl's eyes were half closed, and she leaned forward to rest her head in her hands, elbows against the edge of the cabin. 

When their eyes met, Amethyst thought she would be embarrassed for staring, or that Pearl would be weirded out, but they both just sat there and smiled instead. The corners of Pearl's eyes crinkled slightly when she smiled, the younger gem noticed. The older gem's head tilted. 

"What are you looking at?" She questioned, not accusatory in the slightest, but genuinely curious. Amethyst flushed purple. 

"It's just- You- Um..." She sputtered, not knowing what to say. "You just... look really happy." _And pretty._

Pearl seemed to understand, leaning back and letting her hands fall to her sides, scooting ever-so-slightly closer to Amethyst. She blushed again. 

"Sights like these remind me of why I rebelled in the first place," Pearl sighed. "Sometimes I think I only did it all for _her._ That was certainly part of it, but I never would have gone through with what I did had the Earth not been such a beautiful place full of life and love." 

Amethyst felt the sudden urge to hold her hand. Her fingers itched for the contact, and she thought it might comfort Pearl in a way, but she couldn't go through with it. _She was a coward._ Oh well, she decided to say something instead. 

"I think that's pretty cool, Pearl." _Wow, that was a lame response._

But the taller gem chuckled, the sound of it melodic and smooth. 

"It is pretty cool," She agreed. 

The two of them spent the rest of the ride in silence, comfortable and warm. Amethyst noticed new details about the town every time they went up, things she had never noticed before. She noticed new details about Pearl every time, too, like the way her fingers curled into a loose fist when she saw something that made her smile, or the way her face changed whenever she looked at Amethyst. Little things.

By the time the ride had ended, Amethyst had made a decision. She was going to tell Pearl how she felt, no matter how long it took her. 

✩★✩★✩★✩

It was dark now, the moon glowing in the sky, the stars spelling out stories with constellations. The were nearly home, shuffling their feet as all of them were pretty tired from a long adventure. The sand of the beach kicked up around them. 

Amethyst regretted not taking the chance to hold Pearl's hand earlier. She really should have, it was such a golden opportunity to do so. She decided to make up for it by doing something bold next time. Maybe she would never have to confess if her actions spoke for her. Maybe Pearl would figure it out. Who knew?

Steven had decided earlier that his activity for the day would be to just watch a movie together. Everyone agreed, saying that it sounded like a great way to wind down. Their house appeared around the corner, a welcoming presence. But something shifted on the beach. A familiar blue shell greeted her.

"Hey!" Amethyst said, pointing in front of her excitedly. "It's Dude!" 

"Dude?" Steven questioned, looking forward. "Oh look, a crab."

"That's Dude! Check him out! What a man!" Amethyst praised it as they walked closer. 

"We'll have to say goodnight to him," Pearl smiled. 

"Yeah!" Amethyst agreed as they walked past. "G'night Dude!"

Dude didn't acknowledge them, far too busy moving back towards the ocean. Amethyst didn't mind. Maybe his determination to get into the ocean was a sign for her to be braver about her new feelings. Or maybe it was just a crab. Amethyst didn't read too much into it. 

She fell asleep sitting up, watching Lonely Blade 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus Christ I pulled an all nighter to get this done. I'll have you know that this chapter is about THREE times longer than any of the other chapters. I really, really tried not to rush through this. I also didn't expect to be writing background Lars/Sadie, but here we are anyway. I promised to get this out to you yesterday, but I still count two in the morning as yesterday. This chapter differs slightly from the others, in the fact that it's way more dialogue heavy, has less crying, and less dissing Rose. I meant for the final scene to be longer, but I'm exhausted. Perhaps I'll revise it later. Btw, from reading through some of my other chapters, I've noticed a couple of spelling/grammar mistakes that I missed. I am only one person, and I do have a pretty thorough editing process, but I still miss some things. Especially in this chapter. I know I probably missed a couple things. I'll continue to fix these as I notice them. Please, if you see something wrong, comment it so that it can be fixed! I apologize for any mistakes you may come across. Next chapter definitely won't be this long. I really wanted to just have some drabbles of Pearl and Amethyst here, as Amethyst comes to terms with her feelings and doesn't squash them down. Also, Garnet is the ultimate matchmaker and you cannot tell me I'm wrong. Party Guy is my new OC based off that one snake that attacks Pearl in the show. I was going to make the stuffed animal a giant bird, but in my head that just looked weird and isn't a prize that would exist. So Party Guy was born. I referenced multiple episodes in this chapter, mostly from season one. I wanted to incorporate more townies, but wasn't sure exactly where, and I didn't want to get distracted from what the story is actually about. That's also why I focused primarily on Pearl and Amethyst interactions and didn't write the rest of it in detail. This chapter is long enough as it is... Please enjoy, and the next chapter should be out sometime over the few days. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	5. Gross

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst spends her morning with Pearl, trying to overcome some of her anxieties.

Something poked her in the cheek, gentle, but still intrusive. She grunted, deciding to ignore it. It happened again, this time to her nose, and it tickled. She couldn't help but snort and jolt awake at the sensation. 

"Wha-Huh?" Amethyst sputtered, suddenly seeing big blue eyes staring at her. "What??"

"Shh!" Pearl hushed, backing away slightly. "Sorry, I wanted you to see something. Steven's still asleep."

Amethyst's brain seemed to catch up with her, and she realized she was awake. Blinking, she shifted slightly, before she saw that she was entangled in the huge snake stuffed animal she had won yesterday. Right, yesterday. And today was today. She used her free hand to rub some of the sleep out of her eyes. 

"What time is it?" She whispered, glancing backwards to confirm that Steven was indeed, still asleep. He was sprawled out on his bed, once again snoozing in his jeans. _That kid._

Amethyst herself was sat against the foot of the bed on the floor, her back resting against it's frame, Party Guy acting as both a pillow and blanket. She had fallen asleep sitting up, a feat that wasn't very impressive for her, considering she had once managed to fall asleep underwater.

"Seven-thirty," Pearl answered. 

"Ugghh Pearl," Amethyst groaned, trying to figure out a way to get up. Party Guy was wrapped tightly around her frame, restricting her movements. "Why would you do this to me?"

"I promise that you'll like it," Pearl assured, chuckling a bit. "Do you need any help?"

"Yep."

Amethyst reached out towards her, the taller gem gripping her hand and pulling her forcefully. She came out abruptly with a slight 'pop!', flying through the air and crashing into Pearl, who stumbled backwards, landing on her butt. The fall was particularly loud, but Steven just rolled over in his sleep, barely reacting. Amethyst recollected herself, rising up on her hands off of... She now noticed that she was practically on top of Pearl. She blushed, immediately wanting to run away, but stopped herself. She thought of her resolution yesterday, and in the few seconds of silence where the two simply stared at each other, she became determined to say something clever. If she were bold now, it would make confessing later that much easier.

"U-uh... Hello..."

_Wow, she really did it. That was it. Pearl had to be head-over-heels for her now._

"Hello yourself," Pearl replied simply, not moving. Amethyst twitched. 

"I'm uh-" She started, swallowing her nervousness down her throat. "I'm gonna... get off of you now..."

"Okay..."

Neither moved for a few more seconds, before Amethyst decided she had had enough of this. She scrambled back, quickly getting back on her feet. She offered her hand to Pearl, who took it graciously. 

"Thank you," She mumbled, standing slowly. 

"Yeah, uh... Thanks," Amethyst responded, grinning awkwardly. She wanted to crawl into a hole, right about now. _Change the subject, you idiot._ "What did you want to show me?"

"Oh!" Pearl said, putting a hand over her mouth. "It's outside! Follow me."

Amethyst, not having anything better to do, listened to Pearl, making sure to tuck Steven under his comforter before she left his room. Her form ached with the tiredness of waking up, so she stretched as she went down the stairs, hearing a few satisfying cracks. Pearl led her out the front door and down the porch steps, with just the sounds of sand crunching underneath their feet accompanying them. The sun was just above the horizon, the sky dusted with pink and blue. The colors reminded her of Pearl, and she almost laughed. When had she gone so soft? Maybe it was always like this... 

It wasn't long before they crossed over most of the beach. What Pearl was trying to show her became apparent at that point, as a purple and blue mass came into view.

"Dude!" Amethyst exclaimed, pointing excitedly at a particular crab. 

"Yes," Pearl smiled. "I saw him on the beach this morning and thought you'd want to pay him a visit." 

Dude was wandering aimlessly down the shoreline, most likely looking for something to eat. Amethyst, intrigued, laid herself down on the sand, stomach pressed against the ground, head resting in the fold of her arms. She watched him pass by in front of her, unperturbed by the giant weird purple thing that was suspiciously close, continuing to walk forward. She kicked her legs in the air, studying him intently. Pearl sat next to her cross-legged, a comforting presence.

"When did you find this little guy?" She asked, very softly reaching across and running a finger along Dude's shell. It was light and slow enough to where the crab stopped seemingly in shock, but didn't dive into his shell to hide. She immediately backed off at this reaction, drawing her hand back to her side. Amethyst thought it was kinda cute, before mentally barfing at how mushy she was.

"I was just sitting on the beach with Garnet, uh... talking," She blushed and frowned a bit. _Liar._ "And he just kinda walked out of the ocean like a total bro."

That made Pearl chuckle, her eyes fluttering closed, small wrinkles dancing at the corners. Amethyst watched her carefully, barely even noticing that Dude was moving again. She then saw her friend's hand, which after touching the crab, was delicately situated right in-between the two. Her face slowly heated up, as she came to a realization.

_You should take the opportunity..._

Such an idea scared her slightly, and she stared at pale knuckles, wondering what to do. She could let it go, and just move on with the conversation... but...

Remembering how much she regretted not doing so last time, she decided to act. She swallowed, her throat feeling dry as she inched her own hand closer, leaning her head on her other arm. Her nerves increased with each passing moment, until her hand made contact, just barely resting on top of Pearl's. She didn't dare move, focusing on her breathing and the sound of the waves. There was a few seconds of nothing, with Dude walking in circles. He tripped over nothing, and his legs wiggled in the air.

Then a twitch, slight movement from beneath her palm as Pearl's fingers adjusted themselves. The older gem's hand began to move, slowly shifting to lace slender fingers with purple ones. She squeezed softly. Amethyst was amazed. _Okay... This is a thing... This was currently happening right now..._

Amethyst's gaze peered up to look at Pearl's face, but found that she was staring away from her. Her eyes landed on soft pink flips of hair blending with the creamy white skin of her neck seamlessly. Amethyst stared at that spot, and squeezed back. 

This was _so_ lame and gross.

Dude managed to right himself, and marched right past Amethyst's nose, catching her attention. She watched him stroll onward. 

"Hey... you remember that one time you made a sand castle with Garnet for those crabs?" She mumbled, thoughts becoming words without her realizing it because her brain wasn't working.

"Y-yes I do," Pearl stuttered. She sounded flustered...

"You wanna make a house for Dude?" Amethyst asked, studying Pearl's knuckles. 

"I w-would love to."

Neither of them moved for a few more minutes.

But, Dude was escaping, so regretfully, Amethyst's grip loosened, and her hand slipped away. She stood, stumbling slightly from being dazed. Pearl followed suit, deciding on a place for the castle while Amethyst very carefully picked the crab up. 

The moment was over as soon as it begun.

Their duties were divided among them, Pearl focusing on design while Amethyst dedicated herself to structure. The taller gem was directing on how the castle should look, giving advice on how to construct certain pillars while collecting seashells and using them to decorate the exterior. The shorter gem was sprinting towards the water to gather wet sand, bringing it back to make walls and towers, also keeping an eye on the crab to ensure he wouldn't wander back into the sea before they made their real estate pitch. Pearl said something about the castle being based off of Victorian architecture. Amethyst just thought it looked cool.

The work was mostly done with bits of short conversation and comfortable silence. Pearl used a stick to trace shapes into the castle, making it look like it had shingles and was made out of bricks. Amethyst dug a moat, shapeshifting her hands hilariously large to scoop up a small portion of the ocean to fill it. She even caught a fish along with the water, which Pearl promptly made her release back out into the sea where it would be safe. She shapeshifted herself into a tiny excavator machine, digging out portions of the inside so that there would be space for Dude move around. Pearl found leaves to decorate the edges of the moat.

"Pearl!" Someone called, grabbing their attention. "Could you make some coffee, please?"

That someone was a particularly cranky teenager who clearly just woke up. 

"I'll make it in a couple minutes!" Pearl sing-songed back, currently assembling a flag out of her own jacket. 

Steven squinted down at them from the porch. 

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're making the Dude mansion!" Amethyst said, hyping up their castle. "It's almost done! Wanna see?"

He shrugged, and made his way down to the beach, stopping a few feet in front of their creation. 

"Wow guys, that's really cool!" He praised, putting a hand to his chin. "There's a lot of detail put into it."

"Gotta thank Pearl for that one," Amethyst replied, finishing the final touches to a bridge she molded to go over her moat. Pearl blushed. 

"I... Well what sort of pearl would I even be if I didn't have some sort of knowledge of aesthetics?" She argued, finishing her flag and taking a step back. 

"I dunno, one that's not a nerd?" Amethyst teased, satisfied with her bridge. She moved back to where the other two stood to admire their work. 

"I suppose you are right about that," Pearl surmised. "But the castle looks nice, so it was worth it."

Amethyst snickered, picking up Dude who had wandered a few feet away, placing him at the top of the tallest spire. Once he came out of his shell, he seemed to be completely unaffected about his new house. He probably couldn't care less. 

"He loves it," Amethyst beamed. Suddenly, Pearl's jacket dissipated into thin air. 

"O-oh whoopsie!" Pearl said, flushing a bit from embarrassment. "I forgot that it wouldn't last very long on its own..."

"You can use my jacket, if you want?" Steven offered, shrugging his shoulders, letting his varsity coat slowly slip off. 

"That's very kind of you Steven, but... no," She waved her hand, dismissing such a notion. He shifted, bringing his jacket back to its original placement. "I'll just have to find something I could use for a flag."

She pursed her lips and put a hand to her chin, thinking about it for a moment. Amethyst admired Dude's sweet crib, praising herself for the hard work it took to get there. She had an abrupt idea. 

"Yo! Hold on- Wait!" Amethyst moved forward, tracing her finger into the sand above the doorway.

_Dude's Place_

"Nice," Steven said, giving a thumbs up. Amethyst grinned.

"I will make your coffee now," Pearl decided, walking back towards the porch steps. Steven gave a slight 'whoop', or at least as much as his tired self could muster, and followed her. 

Amethyst watched them go, listening to Pearl gripe about him either needing to take a shower or at least change his clothes. He made some sort of sarcastic response that maybe he could shapeshift smaller and bathe in the coffee pot. Pearl was very disgusted by this notion. Amethyst turned away.

It would have been cruel to leave what was obviously an ocean crustacean trapped on land, so she gently picked Dude up and returned him to the waters. She watched him scuttle away, and hoped that he would return for an ultimate housewarming party. She wondered if she had any of those tiny disco balls left in her room from some crazy party years ago. She probably did, but they were buried somewhere. She was a bit too lazy to go and find them.

She felt a surge of happiness and satisfaction, one that was hard to come by, even when she was leading a much better life nowadays. Something in the air just told her that she was doing an okay job, and that things were even better than usual. She smiled, fidgeting with her fingers. _They had even held hands..._

While the breeze and the thoughts were comforting, she ultimately decided to head back upstairs and inside, since she still would have to figure out something to do today. The problem with the world being saved was that there just wasn't a lot to do. The gems ended up busying themselves a lot more then they used too, giving themselves small projects they wouldn't normally do or introducing themselves to people they didn't talk to before. Amethyst, for one, liked to help out with and oversee the production of Little Homeworld. The concept of it all, of Homeworld gems coming to live on Earth, really spiked her interest. That and, Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot were a really fun group to hang out with. They were some of her best friends. Especially Peridot, she told that girl _everything._

She suddenly felt bad. She really _hadn't_ told her everything. Did she owe her that? Owe her that explanation? Did she owe Lapis or Bismuth that explanation? Or Steven? And what about Pearl, the center of everything? She deserved to know... 

She shook those thoughts away. No, they weren't entitled to jack shit. Amethyst was going to come to terms with this on her own, and she was going to take as long as she needed. She didn't owe them any sort of "update" on her psych. She let the anxiety drip off of her. Some deep down part of her wondered if it would help, though. It certainly helped to talk to Garnet about it, even when it was sort of forced out of her. And while Garnet was great with advice and support, she knew she would be able to get different perspectives from other people, some that might even lead her down a better path in the long run. She kept that notion in the back of her mind, to be addressed later. 

Opening the front door, the smell of brewing coffee greeted her. Another day begins. 

She huddled over to the coffee maker, and making sure that it was done brewing, promptly removed the reusable filter. She liked to eat the used coffee grinds. She dumped them into her mouth, and tossed the empty filter into the sink. The grounds crunched between her teeth, the texture weird and different from other foods. It was pretty disgusting. She loved it.

Steven was sitting at the counter, nursing his mug as he zoned out, most likely thinking about something. Pearl was pacing around the room, gabbing on the phone to someone on the other end. She was also blushing furiously. _"Yellow! Don't say that!"_ Amethyst's hearing wasn't good enough to hear what, apparently, Yellow Pearl was saying.

Amethyst smiled at the palm tree phone case, which Pearl had put on her cell phone a couple years ago, shortly after they made peace with the Diamonds. The taller gem ended up taking such meticulous care of the phone that she hadn't replaced it at all, even when it was fairly old. She never used it for much, but had gotten better at figuring out how it worked and had started to talk to various people through it. A few of those people were the pearls back on Homeworld, which (due to their similar treatment in Era One and Two) she had grown fairly close to. It made Amethyst happy to see her talk to other people. Pearl used to be sort of a shut-in, and wasn't very prone to socializing outside of the Crystal Gems. She was glad to see her make new friends. 

"Hey Steve-O, you hungry?" Amethyst asked, redirecting her attention to the teenager. 

"Yeah, kinda," He answered simply. 

"Want me to throw together some breakfast bagels?" She was already in the fridge gathering ingredients as she said this. 

"As long as you don't put hot sauce in mine again..." His face scrunched up. Amethyst chuckled darkly. 

"Oh c'mon man, that was pretty funny," She dropped various items on the counter, and went to fetch the bagels out of the cupboard. "I promise I won't make yours weird. Can't say the same thing about mine, though."

"That's fair," He mumbled, drinking the last of his coffee. He turned the mug towards Amethyst. "Hit me."

She only did as she was told because she loved him, making him another mug the way he liked it. Or at least as best as she could remember. He said it was fine anyway, and thanked her. 

"What? Really?? Even Pink?" Pearl piped, voice carrying across the room. The taller gem seemed to notice what Amethyst was doing even without saying anything, and wordlessly waltzed over to help, perching her phone in between her shoulder and her cheek. She moved with precision as she grabbed a pan and received the egg carton from the smaller gem accompanying her. They had danced this dance several times before, so it was easy to move past each other and make a breakfast worthy of a diamond. 

Amethyst helped where she could, she wasn't completely useless in the kitchen. The finesse was lost on her though, so Pearl tended to take up the more precision based tasks while Amethyst did most of the dirty work. Look at them, working as a team twice in the same day, what a sight to behold. The thought made the younger gem chuckle. Meanwhile, Pearl chatted on the phone about who knows what, and Amethyst would catch bits and pieces of the conversation. Sometimes she even managed to pick up what Yellow Pearl was saying, since the kitchen was so small and that gem tended to be pretty loud. _"Oh! I don't know about that..."_ was something Pearl said at some point, and then came the shrill response: _"Just ask her!"_ Amethyst was naturally pretty curious, she had to be, given her early days. But, she tried not to listen in on most of the conversation, feeling intrusive. She didn't want to make Pearl feel uncomfortable. 

Soon enough, Pearl had fried the eggs and warmed up the ham, and Amethyst had toasted the bagels and sliced some tomato. They sandwiched it all between the bagel halves, making sure to incorporate the extreme necessity that was cheese. Amethyst topped hers off with whipped cream, because why the hell not?

Biting into the bagel sandwich was bliss, and Steven wholeheartedly agreed. The richness of the egg and cheese, the acidity of the tomato, the savoriness of the ham. That was all pretty much lost on Amethyst, she didn't trust those fancy reviews done by foodies. They wouldn't even try things like antifreeze, what did they know about "flavor". But, she did know one thing: This sandwich was fucking scrumptious. Steven ending up licking his plate. _Dork._

Pearl cleaned up since she wasn't eating, and while the both of them offered to help she simply waved them off while continuing to talk on the phone. _"You really think so?"_ could be heard over the sound of dishes clinking.

Amethyst thought about how perfectly their hands had fit together as she watched her clean. She had already basically inhaled her breakfast, so she sat their for a moment, just thinking. Steven, now full and energized, had wandered off to change and inevitably leave to go visit Little Homeworld. Amethyst would have gone with him, but something else was on her mind. Some small, silly part of her wanted to spend the whole day with just Pearl, even though she knew that probably wouldn't end up happening. But, even just staying to talk to her was a start. She ran a finger along the top of the dining table, feeling a bit weird for staring at her friend, but the older gem didn't seem to mind, even sending small smiles over at Amethyst every once in a while. _"You would really do that for me?"_ Amethyst wanted to memorize her facial expressions, so she watched the way her eyes widened every time she was surprised, or the way they would flutter closed when she laughed. Amethyst could see the details clearly in her head, clear enough to where she could draw her if she wanted to. She wondered briefly if Vidalia would agree to paint Pearl.

It took a few more minutes, but Pearl finally gave a brief _"Goodbye!"_ and hung up the phone. Their eyes met. 

"Sorry, were you waiting for something?" Pearl asked, messing with the ends of her jacket. Amethyst felt nervous. 

"N-no," Amethyst admitted. "I was just wondering what to do today..." _Liar..._

"Oh! Well-" Pearl cut herself off, her cheeks flushing blue. "I... may have a solution for that... as long as you agree?"

"Yeah?" Amethyst replied, sitting up. "What is it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imma be honest, I had no idea what I was doing with this chapter, which is why it took a bit longer. I almost wrote a chapter that was longer than the last one. I _know,_ I am _insane._ I wrote the above, but almost felt like it wasn't enough, so I tried writing the next part of the story in this chapter, but it really didn't fit and kinda made the chapter a lot less cohesive. But the good thing about this is, the next chapter is fully written! I just need to go through editing which shouldn't take _too_ long. I'll be working on it tomorrow and will reply to a comment with when I think I'll be able to post it. Think of both this chapter and the next one as filler, if you can even call it that. It really isn't, because I'm trying to slowly develop the depth of Amethyst's feelings and how she reacts to them slowly, instead of just throwing you into the next part of the story. So, I _think_ we'll be halfway through in two chapters. Some points I wanted to make:
> 
> Pearl can call people on Homeworld via human technology. I was going to provide the explanation for how this is possible in the actual chapter, but it kinda clashed and just got way too wikipedia for a hot minute, so I'll say it here instead. After making peace with the Diamonds, I think Steven would really drive home the point of being _inclusive_ towards all life forms, even humans or off-colors. A good way to do this is to push the Diamonds to share their technology with humans, and to get Homeworld to adopt some human tech as well. We can _see_ this happening in the movie, with Blue and Yellow Pearl using headsets, and Peridot's little drone things being on Earth. By doing this, it forces the Diamonds to think about how their technology would need to be utilized by humans as well as gems. I believe that humans would be uncomfortable with and confused by gem-tech. This includes gem's holographic communication. So, the best solution would be for Homeworld to help install satellites that stretched across space and effectively made cell phones way more long range. Why did I choose to write this headcanon in? Because the phone call between Yellow Pearl and Pearl needed to happen and I also wanted to mention the phone case thing because _that's gay._ That's literally it. I just wanted Pearl to use the phone case her gf got her. I need sleep. Also, think about all the Karen's calling Homeworld customer support about how they took over the planet. That's fucking hilarious. 
> 
> This chapter and the next one are basically one-shot ideas I had that I molded to fit this story. Amethyst and Pearl making a sandcastle, Amethyst and Pearl making Steven breakfast because they love him, Amethyst getting all flustered at trying to show affection, etc. It's essentially a fusion of all my garbage shippy-junk and I'm screaming. 
> 
> Steven is not a morning person. We all know this. The boy must have his bean water.
> 
> Amethyst's emotions and anxiety are a little all over the place. This is done on purpose! She has no idea what she's doing! All she knows is that affection is gross and she hates it (not really though).
> 
> I think that's all I need to talk about? I don't know, I'm just here existing like you guys. Cold pizza straight from the fridge fuels me. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!!


	6. Drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst's doubts become louder than ever as she hangs out with Pearl, and a few unexpected gems.

Amethyst could not _believe_ she was going to hang out with the pearls. At a bar. To drink alcohol. That Pearl had even asked earlier, she could hardly believe at all.

It was the afternoon now, as Pearl and Amethyst had busied themselves by doing chores and chit-chatting while they waited for the text that said the pearls had arrived on Earth. The air was warm and humid, enough to where one could _feel_ the condensation form on their skin. That's beach life for you. A constant smell of saltwater in the air, sand getting everywhere despite not knowing where it came from, and unbearable weather. But, the small town provided for quiet moments such as the one Amethyst was currently experiencing, which she was grateful for. Between the chaos of everyday life as a Crystal Gem, and just life in general, she liked the moments where she could breathe a little. She liked the crazy ones too, don't get her wrong, but clearing her head was much more useful than she would like to admit.

Pearl and Amethyst walked next to each other, heading to Beach City's only bar. It was a little out of the way, so only a dirt path lead towards it, streetlights thinning out. They weren't turned on yet, but Amethyst made the mental note that it would be extra dark later. The dinky little bar came into view soon enough. It was an old, dimly lit place, that brought about the vibes of scratchy old people drinking whiskey and reminiscing about life. Being the only bar miles around, it also brought in the loud twenty-one-year-old kids that just wanted to have a good time. Surely the place brought in some colorful people, but other than that, it was exactly what one would expect. Just an old pub, nostalgic to some, dusty to others.

Walking up to it, the walls were made out of some sort of wood, with large windows in the front to display the drunkards inside. Large windows for a bar were a bad business decision, with all the drunk people that would end up breaking them, so Amethyst could only assume that the place was once something else, like a restaurant, before being sold. A grossly neon purple and blue sign flickered above the door, with "The Sand Bar" spelled out in curly letters. It was a great pun considering the town, but it was far enough away from the beach that the name didn't make much sense. The place was surrounded by grass and trees. Lost opportunities. Amethyst decided then that tonight, she wouldn't lose any herself.

And there they were waiting outside the front door of the bar. _The legends themselves._ Amethyst snickered to herself. Yellow Pearl leaned against the place, arms crossed, seemingly irritated about something (wasn't she always). Blue Pearl was talking to her, a patient smile adorning her face. Pink Pearl just looked uncomfortable, her hands tucked into the pockets of some sort of a large hoodie she wore. Amethyst tilted her head at that. It wasn't everyday you saw a gem wearing human clothes. 

She squirmed as Pearl excitedly greeted them, quickening their pace. She didn't know how to act around all these regal gems. Pearl was one thing, but _four_ of them? Amethyst suddenly felt out of her league. Should she tone it down? Tone down the ruthless energy that bubbled in her? Her fingers twitched. She knew that more traditional gems didn't like her more rambunctious side. She frowned. _Pearl probably didn't like that side of her either..._

"Are you sure this is the place?" Yellow remarked, interrupting Amethyst's thoughts. The taller gem stared down at her with an intrigued look, seeming to study her. She felt extremely uncomfortable by this, and shrank back. _She shouldn't be here. Why did Pearl invite her?_

"Yes, very," Pearl responded, giving Pink a short but sweet hug. "According to multiple human sources this is the ultimate place to 'hang out'."

Amethyst couldn't help but chuckle, despite herself. _Nerd._

"Whatever you say," Yellow shrugged, pushing herself off the wall to stand. "As long as we get to see you! It's been weeks! Honestly, you can't get rid of us _that_ easily."

"I would never!" Pearl said, defending herself.

"Oh I know," Yellow smirked. "I was only being that human thing... What is it called? Sarcastic! Yes I was being sarcastic." 

"It's great to see you again," Blue said, smiling softly. "Homeworld can get so boring without a pearl like you."

Pearl flushed from the compliment. 

"Oh, I'm sure the Diamonds make up for that," Pearl rolled her eyes. "They have been so dramatic recently."

"Tell me about it," Yellow scoffed. "Yellow Diamond has allowed herself to _cry_ more, and it is very noisy and unnecessary.

"It's been really weird," Pink faltered, frowning slightly. "Getting used to it all..."

"Oh Pink," Pearl smiled reassuringly. "I'm very happy that you decided to come. You never get off-planet."

"I thought it was about time," Pink replied. "I don't like being on Homeworld all the time anyway..."

"That's understandable," Blue emphasized. 

"Um, not that I am trying to be rude," Pearl said, looking her up and down. "But what are you wearing?"

"Oh, this?" Pink asked, stretching out the hoodie as if she had just noticed it herself. "I like human clothes. They're soft... comfortable..."

"That's always good! If you ever want any advice on human fashion," Pearl placed a hand on her chest triumphantly. "I am your pearl."

Pink giggled, shaking her head. 

"I'll just stick with this for now," She insisted. 

"So what are we doing out here for?" Yellow griped, moving like she was about to go inside. 

"Oh! Wait!" Pearl proclaimed suddenly, moving so that Amethyst (who was totally not hiding behind Pearl's legs) was revealed again. "This is Amethyst!"

This caught Yellow's attention, and she smirked, _again_. Something in her gaze said that she was very much waiting for this moment.

"Ohhh," Yellow wiggled her eyebrows. "This is _Amethyst,_ huh?"

"Yes," Pearl said nervously, gritting her teeth and flushing slightly. "This _is_ Amethyst."

Said gem was weirded out by this whole exchange. 

"Uh yeah," She mumbled. "That's me. Is there something I'm missing here?

Yellow Pearl and Pearl said "Yes" and "No" at the same time, respectively. The latter whipped her head around to glare at Yellow, who just shrugged. Amethyst decided to ignore that. She was already feeling pretty on edge, she didn't want to make this situation any more intolerable than it already was. Dear _God_ why did Pearl invite her?

"Um. So nice to meet you guys," She uttered, anxiety pricking her skin. She shivered slightly, extending a hand. All three of the Homeworld pearls looked at it strangely. _Oh, right. They wouldn't... know how to do that..._ However, she just stood there with her hand outstretched like an idiot because apparently her brain wasn't _working_ today.

Pearl suddenly burst into a tense sort of laughter, grabbing Amethyst's hand to yank her towards the door.

"Ah yes!" She blurted, speaking quickly and erratically. "We should go inside! It's _quite_ dusty out here ha ha _ha!_"

Amethyst couldn't focus enough to think about Pearl's weird behavior, because her head was overrun with a mantra of: _Pearl's holding my hand Pearl's holding my hand Pearl's holding my hand Pe-_

The other three pearls were snickering though, as they all made their way indoors.

On the inside of the bar, it was decorated with semi-decent wooden furniture that was probably older than Steven. Blue and purple accents appeared around the place, whether it be on the menus, the napkins, etc. A bored looking bartender drummed her painted red nails on the bar top as she talked to a weary looking older man. The only other person in the establishment wasn't drinking, but eating a particularly greasy looking hamburger. They were clearly only there for the food. Amethyst could relate. A surprisingly upbeat tune played from the speakers lodged onto the walls. It was some popular song on the radio currently. There were a few spare square tables around the place. At the back, past the bar, there was a microphone stand. So, this bar also did karaoke. Or comedy nights? A lone sign at the front said: "Please seat yourself."

"Hmm," Pearl hummed as she went through the door, not letting go of Amethyst's hand, eyeing the place. "Maybe we should have gone out of town for this..."

"I kind of like it," Pink mumbled, fidgeting slightly. "It's quiet."

"At least we won't be bothered," Yellow said. 

"Can we sit it the back, please?" Pink asked politely. 

"Of course!" Pearl responded, moving forward only to realize that she was still holding Amethyst's hand. She blushed. "O-oh, sorry!"

She pulled like she was trying to let go, but to her surprise, Amethyst laced their fingers together and squeezed.

"I-it's fine," She mumbled, not really sure about what she was doing. Her hand felt comforting at the moment. It centered her, reminded her where she was. She waited for Pearl to react and snatch her hand away or something. Because they were in front of her friends, and she's definitely embarrassed. The taller gem smiled instead, and led them to a table in the back. Blue pulled up a fifth chair from the table next to them to sit in, since there were only four originally, sitting to Yellow's left. Amethyst plopped down next to Pearl, rubbing circles into pale knuckles. _God, what was she doing? Pearl was going to get so freaked out and-_

"How was the trip?" Pearl asked casually, looking at Yellow.

Amethyst sighed, propping an elbow on the table and resting her head in her hand. _You're fine. Just calm down. This was Pearl. Give her more credit than that._

"Well apparently this one can't drive a ship anymore," Yellow teased, jabbing a thumb towards Blue, who looked very frustrated all of the sudden. 

"It's been two years since I have!" She redirected her attention towards Pearl. "I insisted on taking the galaxy warp, but _no,_ Yellow wanted to take the scenic route!" 

"You nearly crashed us into an asteroid," Yellow responded. 

"I wish I did!" Blue retaliated, a smug smile forming. Pink gasped. 

"B-_Blue!_"

Pearl chuckled at their antics. 

"So I take it the trip went well, then?" She surmised. 

"Better than last time!" 

That got all of the pearls laughing, Amethyst feeling slightly awkward. Yeah, she had no idea what she was doing. She focused on Pearl's hand. 

"Should we order something?" Pearl asked, looking around. "Does someone come to our table?"

That's when Amethyst remembered she was probably the only gem that had any experience in a bar. _Yes!/i> She had something to contribute! She grinned. _

__

__

"Nah Pearl, you gotta walk up to the bar," She stood up, pushing her chair back. "C'mere, I'll show you."

Pearl stood as well, doing as she was told. The shorter gem could hear the other pearls whispering behind her. _Were they talking about her?_

Amethyst strolled casually up to the bartender, who simply looked up at them with an air of slight annoyance. It seemed like this lady didn't enjoy her job. 

"I will have one order of the alcohol, please!" Pearl said confidently, holding up a finger. Amethyst guffawed, holding her stomach with her free hand as she laughed. _That was kind of adorable._

"N-no Pearl... that's not..." She muttered in between snorts. She calmed down enough to look back up at the bartender. "Can I get a beer and a round of shots for my friends?" 

The bartender glanced towards the corner table, seeming to mentally count how many drinks she needed to make. 

"Comin' right up," She muttered, walking away. Amethyst pulled Pearl back towards their seats. 

"That- I," Pearl started, looking flustered. "That was how I ordered wine back in Rome. Is that not how it works anymore?"

"You mean like, thousands of years ago??" Amethyst asked incredulously. "No dude, that isn't how it works anymore."

Pearl blushed. 

"I suppose it's been a while..." She mumbled. This made Amethyst curious. 

"Oh my God," She smiled widely. "When's the last time you've drank, Pearl??"

"You mean, alcohol?" Pearl asked. Amethyst nodded. "About... I'd say five hundred years ago?"

Amethyst's eyes widened. It was true, drinking wasn't a usual activity for any gem. They didn't have anything on Homeworld that could even remotely be compared to a drug of some sort. Because that would decrease production and diligence. Amethyst herself loved alcohol. Not that she was addicted or anything (could that even happen to gems?), but she loved the feeling of being drunk. It was a bit different with gems, the way alcohol would absorb, since they were made out of light and only _simulated_ human anatomy. It took a bit more than what human beings would need to drink for them to get drunk (about twice as much, in fact), but it was still a fairly straight forward process. She was quite experienced with drinking. She had already decided that she was going to stay mostly sober tonight, so she could make sure the pearls got themselves home safely. But, the pearls themselves were another story. Her initial nervousness faded away. She was going to give these gems a fuckin' _party._

"Guys," Amethyst decided, turning towards the group. "We're going to play a drinking game." 

"A what?" Yellow asked.

The bartender waltzed up with their drinks, placing the beer in front of Amethyst, and the four shots in the middle of the table. Tucking the tray under her arm, she then opened the beer with a bottle cap opener. Pink picked up the discarded cap, studying it. 

"Can you get us a few more rounds?" Amethyst asked, resulting in the bartender sighing, but walking off to go make more. 

"Okay so listen," She continued, taking a sip of her beer. "We're going to play something called _Never Have I Ever,_ which is a kind of drinking game. It's pretty simple: Someone says something they've never done before, and if anyone here has done that thing, you take a shot. I'll take a sip."

Blue picked up one of the shots, looking at it strangely. 

"Okay, I'll like, give an example: Never have I ever... keyed someone's car. And if one of you guys have ever done that, for some reason, you would drink."

"That's a lie," Pearl stated. 

"Okay, I didn't key that car, I took a bat to it," Amethyst argued, receiving shocked looks from around the table. "Homegirl deserved it! She almost ran Steven over!" 

"I paid for the car to be fixed, don't worry," Pearl grumbled.

"Okay, whatever," Amethyst dismissed. "The point is, that's how you play the game. Got it?"

The table came to the agreement that they understood. Amethyst nodded. 

"Good. Now first things first, y'all should probably drink this at least once before we start playing. It isn't exactly... good..." Amethyst shrugged, pushing a shot towards each of the Pearls, except for Blue, who already had one in her hand. "You just gotta swallow them without tasting them. They're really strong, so they'll make you feel all weird faster."

The pearls seemed to take this information to heart and studied their drinks. Maybe Amethyst shouldn't have started their first alcoholic experience with shots... But hey, go big or go home, right? She had made sure that Pearl had properly explained the effects of alcohol to these Homeworld gems before even agreeing to go out with them. She wasn't going to be responsible for any breakdowns, hell no. They knew what they were getting themselves into. Although, they didn't seem bothered by it, but rather excited to test out some new Earth experience. Yellow was the first to take the plunge. She swallowed quickly, her eyes watering. 

"That was disgusting," She said, coughing a bit. Pearl soon followed suit. She cringed immediately.

"Very unpleasant," She stated. Blue and Pink drank at the same time. Blue shuddered, gripping the table. Pink didn't react. 

"You're all such babies," She said when everyone looked at her strangely. The bartender came back with three more rounds. Amethyst smiled evilly. 

"Let's begin," She said, picking up her beer. "We'll go around the table, starting with me, then Pearl, then Yellow, et cetera."

"Clockwise," Pearl stated simply. 

"Yeah okay nerd," Amethyst teased. Pearl smirked at her. "Never have I ever... thrown a jungle gym at someone."

The three Howeworld pearls looked confused, until Pearl piped up. 

"That was an extreme situation!" 

"It was Steven's babysitter."

"I didn't know that! That isn't fair!"

"You teased me about destroying some car, so it _is_ fair. Drink up."

Pearl glared at her, as she downed a second shot. She slammed it down, shaking her head. The other pearls laughed. She was getting pretty good at this... Amethyst felt a squeeze on her hand.

"Never have I ever eaten something that was five-years-old!" She retaliated with. Amethyst laughed. 

"Yeah, I did do that, huh?" She took a sip of her beer. "Well played, P."

"Never have I ever..." Yellow seemed to think for a second. "Well, I've never liked the Earth. Does that count?"

"Rude!" Amethyst exclaimed, chuckling. Pearl reached for a shot, before the younger gem stopped her. "No, it don't count! It's gotta be like an action, something that can happen in one event."

Yellow rolled her eyes. 

"Fine. Never have I ever rebelled against Homeworld," She smirked. 

Amethyst took another sip. Pearl took a third shot, giggling as she did. They really had to stop targeting her if she was _already_ tipsy.

"You okay?" Amethyst asked, smiling. "You feeling the buzz yet?" 

"I believe so," Pearl said, grinning and squeezing Amethyst's hand again. Something in her said that maybe she should feel weirded out by holding her hand, or feel like it was gross, or anything really. Maybe it was the slight warm feelings from the alcohol, but she found that she didn't care. She had only had a few sips, but who knew? Fuck it, she was holding Pearl's hand and having a great time. 

"Never have I ever worn yellow," Blue said simply. Yellow looked offended as she took a shot. Pearl joined her, downing her fourth drink. Amethyst knew she would need at least six more to be _really_ drunk but decided to cut her off at five and get her something to sip off of instead. It's not like they could die of alcohol poisoning, but it wasn't very pretty either. She also took a sip, since she once wore a funny yellow hat. Pink thought for a much longer amount of time. 

"Never have I ever... slept," She finally decided on. Blue, Pearl, and Amethyst all drank. 

"You reallyyy ought to try it," Pearl said, her words slurring slightly as Amethyst waved the bartender over and ordered a second beer and a raspberry margarita. "It feels very nice."

Amethyst waited until the drinks came before continuing the game, making sure to tell Pearl to sip on the margarita instead. She didn't argue. 

"Never have I ever refused a kiss," Amethyst confessed, deciding to spice things up a bit. Pearl sipped her margarita. 

"This is pretty good," Pearl mumbled. Fuck yeah it was good! Amethyst knew Pearl's tastes even though she doesn't eat! Yellow _very_ discreetly took another shot, looking a bit nervous. Amethyst totally noticed.

"What??" She squawked, looking Yellow up and down. "_When??_"

"Ugh, some human couldn't take a hint while I was visiting the Earth about a year ago," Yellow grumbled. Pearl slammed her free hand on the table, probably harder than she meant to. Amethyst made sure the drinks didn't topple over. 

"I remember that!" Pearl announced. "That was when we went to a festival in Japan! He would not leave you alone..."

"Remember how we had to ditch him?" Yellow snickered, Pearl joining in. 

"Yes... I do," She abruptly started laughing harder. It was sudden and _loud,_ making Amethyst smile.

"Never have I ever kissed anyone, for that matter!" Yellow sputtered, howling with laughter. Pearl took a _long_ sip of her margarita before Amethyst could stop her. 

"Hey! It ain't your turn Lemon-Head!" She growled.

"Oh, who cares?" Pearl asked, booping Amethyst's nose with an unsteady finger. What had it been? Ten minutes? And here she was drunk already. They wouldn't last an hour. She blushed a deep purple. "Take a drink, Amethyst."

She did as she was told, and Pearl turned away. 

_Pearl's never kissed anyone..._

"Never have I ever been in a relationship," She said, continuing the game. Amethyst took a sip. 

The game went on, each turn providing more and more revealing things about the five sitting at the table. For example, Yellow had never tried human food. And Blue had never had a hairstyle with her hair out of her eyes. Even more revealing was what Pearl was admitting to. Amethyst had never really though about it much but... She really couldn't believe that Pearl and Rose were _never_ an item. Just how many hundreds of years was Pearl in love with her? And she was only just now getting over it. Amethyst's stomach felt queasy. Maybe this was all wrong. Maybe she _shouldn't_ be feeling this way. Pearl had already been through enough. Maybe she should back off. But... Pearl's hand felt so nice. She remembered what Garnet said, and realized that Pearl was _far_ from some helpless, damaged gem. If Amethyst ever did anything wrong, Pearl always addressed it loud and clear. The thought soothed her, because she knew she wasn't making Pearl uncomfortable.

The shots were soon replaced with drinks they could sip on instead, as all of them reached the five shot capacity. Amethyst was on her fourth beer. She was definitely buzzed, but she was taking it slow. She probably could handle a few more drinks than the Pearl's around her though. Most of their words were slurring at this point, all except for Amethyst. They were all giddy and laughing openly, inhibitions taken away. It made Amethyst happy to see them so loose and wild, since they were _all_ pretty uptight and nervous to act freely, even in Era Three. Pearl was practically draped over her, giggling and twirling her fingers through the shorter gem's hair, which did _not_ go unnoticed by Amethyst. Soon enough, the moonlight shone through the windows at the front, and the two other patrons of the bar left. It was a weekday, so likely no one else would stop in.

"Never have I everrrr stolen something?" Blue said, giggling as Yellow, Pearl, Pink, and Amethyst all took sips. "Oh my stars!! Wow!"

"You've stolen something?" Amethyst looked at Pearl. "Miss goody-two-shoes herself?"

"That," Pearl emphasized by putting a finger against Amethyst's forehead. "Is something that I have never been..."

Amethyst pushed the finger away, only for Pearl to grip her hand. Now both of her hands encased Amethyst's. They laughed, Pearl's head resting against her shoulder. 

"Never have I ever fallen in love," Pink said suddenly, getting Amethyst's attention. 

She felt a cold shock of anxiety zap through her, and she stared at her beer bottle. Why the hell did Pink even ask that?? _Should she drink?_ She would be a liar if she didn't right? But then... everyone would know. _No they wouldn't._ She felt one of Pearl's hands break from hers, and saw her take a sip out of the corner of her eye. She knew why. She knew _exactly_ why. She suddenly couldn't take it. She gripped her beer bottle and downed the rest of it. Pearl stared at her. 

"Really?" She asked, looking at her in shock. 

Amethyst nodded. Something flashed behind Pearl's eyes, and she squeezed the younger gem's hand. The air felt heavy.

"Never have I ever fallen in love twice," She mumbled without meaning to, and she glared at her beer bottle. _This is your fault._

Pearl took a sip.

_Wait. What the fuck?_

"I want to sing," Yellow abruptly announced, standing up before anyone could object. She stumbled backwards, only to be caught quickly by Blue. They both laughed. Amethyst rolled her eyes. _Dorks._

"Karaoke costs five dollars," The bartender said, easily overhearing the gems loud conversation. "Each." 

"Oh!" Pearl exclaimed, brightening. "Can we Amethyst??"

It wasn't like they didn't have the money. The Crystal Gems did all sort of oddball jobs here and there to make enough money to support Steven. Even when his father was rich, it wasn't always like that, and they still tried to pay for thing on their own. Why the hell was Pearl even asking for her permission anyway? She was the one with the wallet.

"Knock yourself out," Amethyst shrugged. Pearl gave a rather adorable _"Yipee!"_ as she stood and nearly fell over. After hours of doing so, Pearl had let go of Amethyst's hand to catch herself. Its absence was extremely noticeable, but Amethyst didn't dwell on it, instead helping her over to the microphone. 

The next couple of hours were a blur of colors and emotions and alcohol. The pearls were ruthless in their drinking, each of them having had at least ten drinks over the course of the night. Pearl was beating them all, with a whopping fourteen. She screeched the lyrics of various pop songs into the microphone, clearly having a good time. The bartender looked very annoyed, but dealt with it, since it was her job. It was just the pearls and Amethyst left in the bar, dancing and having a grand ol' time. _"Pearl's just wanna have fun!!"_ was the resounding cry of the group, each of them swaying and stumbling like the bunch of goobers they were. Amethyst laughed with them.

She would call this night a success, with how much fun they seemed to all be having. Pearl's hair was sticking up all over the place, ruffled and pink. Amethyst thought she looked incredible. She would never admit the air had left her lungs a few times.

Pearl, at some point, had picked her up bridal-style, juggling the microphone and the shorter gems form. She obviously didn't know what she was doing, because she fell over right after scooping her up, unable to adjust to the weight. They both tumbled over, Amethyst blushing furiously, and Pearl giggling like a maniac. That's when the bartender gave them a warning.

Because they didn't want to get kicked out, they decided to just sit down and talk again, while Amethyst very decidedly made sure that none of them consumed anymore alcohol for at least another thirty minutes. Maybe they could afford karaoke, but they could _not_ afford property damage. And she was _not_ calling Greg.

"I am having an extra- I am having an ect-" Yellow stumbled over her words, pausing for a moment, only to speak very slowly. "I am having an _extraordinary_ amount of fun!" 

"We didn't even know what that was a couple years ago!" Blue replied, making Yellow chuckle. 

"And now we are having the most of fun that-" Yellow shook her head. "I can't get my words out."

"Oeuhh..." Pearl slumped her head into her arms on the table. "Thas verrry unforchunate..."

_Wow_ Pearl was drunk. Yellow chuckled.

"It is a surprise that anyoo- anyone can undersm- damn it!" Yellow put her head in her hands. 

Amethyst laughed at them, feeling victorious. She had gotten these _pearls_ drunk. That was incredible. 

"You're funny," Blue stated simply while snickering. 

"Of course I am," Yellow replied. 

"Am... Amy..." Pearl mumbled, reaching out to put a hand on Amethyst's shoulder. It landed on her face. "Guess what?"

Amethyst moved her hand gently, bringing it back to the table. 

"What's up?"

"I havve a secret..." Pearl slurred, reaching up again, threading her fingers into long purple hair. Amethyst frowned. 

"Yeah?" She urged, wanting Pearl to continue. Secrets made her a bit uncomfortable, ever since the _big_ reveal two years back. 

"I ack like I don' like youu," The taller gem pointed at her. "Buh I do... A _lot._"

Amethyst blushed. 

"Honestly, she never shuts up about you," Yellow said determinedly, rolling her eyes. "She was going on and on this me- this morning about some sno-sne- _thing_ you got her at an amusement park!"

Amethyst looked Pearl in the eyes. 

"Y-you... really talk about me all the time?" She couldn't help but ask. 

"Oh, every time we talk to her," Blue answered for her, smiling. "She really adores you."

Pearl nodded vigorously in agreement. Amethyst didn't think her face could get any hotter. The extremely intoxicated gem suddenly threw her arms around her, crushing the shorter gem in a hug. 

"I think yooouu're mmffm!" Pearl mumbled into her shoulder, part of her sentence muffled. Amethyst thought she was going to combust. 

"Okay, Pearl," She said, hugging back. 

Then for whatever reason, Pink thought this was a great time to stand on the table. Apparently limited their alcohol consumption wasn't enough. The entire table stared up with wide eyes, waiting to see what Pink would do.

"You know _what??_" She yelled, the table shaking. It didn't seem to faze her. "_Fuck_ the Diamonds!"

_Holy shit._

"Yeah!!" Yellow exclaimed, egging her on.

"Hey!" Pearl let go of Amethyst long enough to chastise Pink. "Thas a bad word!! Wha if Stephen heears you!"

"Steven's at home, Pearl."

"Oh."

Pink stomped, nearly knocking over the table. She laughed hysterically. The empty shot glasses fell and rolled and broke on the floor.

"I'm so tired of being a pearl!" She screamed. "I'm done taking orders and being afraid!! I'm gonna fucking _be_ somebody!"

"Yeah!!!" Yellow stood up, chair falling over, pumping a fist in the air. The bartender was losing it, yelling at her to get off the table. Pink turned towards her. 

"And _fuck_ you!"

The table finally toppled over, and Pink fell onto the floor.

Shit. The bartender was marching out from behind the bar now. Amethyst was suddenly sober.

She acted quickly, shapeshifting her arm out to stretch and grab all four of the pearls in one fell swoop. With her other hand, she whipped open a wallet and thumbed two hundreds out, letting them drift to the floor. She figured that was plenty for the drinks and the small amount of property damage. Wait, was that enough? God. Who cares? She was a mother fucking _genius_ for getting Pearl to retrieve her wallet out of her gem back when she was sober. She took off, her small legs pumping to get out of the bar before the bartender gave them a piece of her mind.

The door flew open, the night air cool on her face. The pearls were just a chorus of surprised laughter and cheers on her shoulder as she busted ass to get several feet away from the establishment. She nearly tripped about a dozen times, the dirt road wasn't very great for traction. But nonetheless, the screaming bartender was becoming harder to hear, and the city sights were getting closer. After a few minutes, when the dirt road ended and they were on pavement again, she finally stopped. It was probably overkill to run as far as she did, but she wasn't about to take any chances. She'd been arrested before, and maybe it was fun to mess with the police a little bit (shapeshifting her hands so they were too small for handcuffs), these drunkards were _not_ going in a holding cell, and she was _not_ going to call Greg. She huffed as she carefully dropped the pearls down from her shoulder. They spun around and fumbled and whooped. Amethyst tried to catch her breath. 

"Wh-where," She wheezed. "Where did y-you even learn to curse like that?"

Apparently, that question was the most important in her mind.

Pink was lying on the ground, laughing hysterically. 

"I read it from a book!!" She yelped, wheezing and tearing up slightly. 

_Pearls and their damn research..._

"Okay man," Amethyst replied, standing up straight. "I can't believe we just got kicked out."

"You're soooo strong..." Pearl mumbled, walking over to lean the entirety of her weight into Amethyst. "Carry me?"

The other pearls seemed to come to an agreement, that Amethyst should definitely carry _all_ of them. They all strolled over to Amethyst and flopped themselves onto her. They all purred and pleaded, asking over and over again if Amethyst could carry them, _please._ She groaned.

"Okay okay! Hold on a second," The shorter gem grumbled as she regained herself, forcing the pearls off of her. She shapeshifted herself larger, receiving applause from her entourage. She carefully picked up Yellow and Blue in one arm, while picking up Pink and Pearl in the other. She stumbled slightly but managed to steady herself. The pearls cheered. 

Amethyst organized her thoughts as well as she could, creating a checklist in her mind. She had to get the Homeworld pearls to a galaxy warp, and ensure they made it home safely. What about the ship they took here? Right, they said something about that earlier. They could have someone fetch it in the morning. That would do. She would then have to get Pearl home. Easy enough, she knew where their house was. She marched towards the closest galaxy warp she could think of, which was back at home. 

Pearl's arms slinked comfortably around Amethyst's neck, snuggling into her shoulder and sighing softly. Amethyst nearly fell over, catching herself last second. Yeah, that wasn't making this any easier. She wondered if Garnet was home. People chuckled and stared strangely as they passed, and Amethyst couldn't blame them. They were quite a sight to see.

She was exhausted by the time her feet made contact with the porch steps, and she bustled up them as best as she could, the pearls making a big deal over the sudden incline, screeching. Of course, Garnet was nowhere to be seen, and Amethyst groaned as she made her way up a second flight of stairs. Steven was asleep in his bed, actually wearing his pajamas, and Amethyst smiled at the sight. She would have to ask him what he did that day. Maybe she would even embarrass Pearl by telling him about how she got drunk. But for now, she very, _very_ carefully made her way out on the balcony and up the third flight, because apparently Bismuth didn't know what fucking railings were when she made the stairs to the galaxy warp. She sighed in relief when she finally made it into the warp room. Stepping onto the galaxy warp, she was transported through time and space and onto Homeworld. 

She didn't have to wander through the massive hallways for long before she finally found someone. That someone just happened to be a gem who just tried to destroy Earth. But, Amethyst had an inexplicable feeling that she wouldn't try to pull anything. Besides, she _had_ to pass on the torch at this point. 

"Yo! Spinel!" She exclaimed, catching the other gem's attention. Spinel had to do a doubletake, looking Amethyst up and down as she did. 

"What happened to them?" She asked, pointing at the intoxicated pearls as Amethyst marched over.

"Spinel!" Pink waved frantically, grinning widely. "We went to a human bar!"

Spinel just looked confused and stared at Amethyst. 

"Can you please just take them? I've been holding this form for way too long and if I don't stop now I'm gonna collapse..." Amethyst beseeched, exhaustion leaking out of her very pores.

"Oh! Um... yeah?" Spinel stretched a single arm out. Her arm wrapped gently around the Homeworld pearl's forms. Amethyst sighed as she allowed her form to shrink down.

"Thank you so much," She said, her voice laced with fatigue. She held Pearl bridal-style. Spinel looked nervous. 

"What... do I do with them?" She asked, the pearls tangled in her arm, Yellow hanging upside down, laughing. 

"Just make sure they don't get into any trouble, they'll probably fall asleep at some point," Amethyst replied, already turning to head back towards the warp. Pearl traced a finger around her gem, which caused her to falter slightly. She regained composure and continued walking. "And don't let Pinky anywhere near the Diamonds right now..."

"B-but! Aw crud..."

The trip back home was much more simple than the trip there, as carrying one pearl was much easier than carrying four. The warp room appeared around her, and she once again made her way downstairs very carefully. Pearl was already half-asleep, only murmuring random things that Amethyst couldn't quite make out. 

Depositing her onto the couch was a lot easier said than done, and Amethyst found herself trying to untangle Pearl's arms from her. 

"Noooo," Pearl whined softly. "Don leave..."

"It's okay Pearl, you're just gonna sleep on the couch," Amethyst mumbled, finally managing to disentangle herself from her limbs, plopping her onto the couch. 

"Nooo..." Pearl repeated, waving her arms wildly in front of her. "Come baaack..." 

One of her hands managed to make contact, and she yanked Amethyst onto the couch with her. That gem was a _lot_ stronger than she looked. She let out a small 'oof' as she got pulled down. 

"Ugh... Pearl..." She groaned, trying desperately to get up. "Listen, I don't feel like sleeping right now."

"You never feel like not sleeping..."

Well, she had her there. But Amethyst just wanted some time to think and clear her head. A lot happened that night. She thought for a moment, and came up with an idea.

"I can get Party Guy for ya, if you want?" She offered. Pearl nodded.

She finally released Amethyst from her iron grip, and the shorter gem made her way upstairs, quickly able to find the snake in the middle of Steven's room. She wandered back down to give it to Pearl, who latched onto it, curling herself into it and sighing. Amethyst smiled at that, about to walk away.

"Amethyst..." Pearl called, causing the younger gem to stop in her tracks.

"Yeah?"

"What do you think of me?"

Amethyst frowned.

"What do you mean?" She asked. 

"Well... What do you think when you see me?" 

Amethyst wondered why she was asking this. 

She opted to tell Pearl the truth. But... maybe not the whole truth. She just wasn't ready. And Pearl was drunk.

"I think you're pretty great," She said, smiling. "But you shouldn't be worrying about what I think about you."

"I... I always worry about what you think of me..." 

Now, what the hell did _that_ mean? 

"Well, don't," She replied, flushing a bit. "Cause I think you're really cool."

"What else do you think?"

Amethyst couldn't believe she was having this conversation. 

"Uh... I think you're smart."

Pearl hummed, peering at Amethyst with curious eyes. The shorter gem sighed. She wasn't very good with words.

"You... You're honestly incredible. I feel really lucky to know you..."

Their eyes met, and Amethyst saw a smile. 

"I think you're incredible too, Amethyst..."

With that, Pearl snuggled into the couch, and closed her eyes. Amethyst's face felt like it was on fire. She felt like she should do something, since she wasn't able to say much. Maybe if she wasn't able to say what she meant, she could at least express it. She shook away her thoughts and decided to do something on impulse. Maybe that was because she was slightly intoxicated, who knew? And who cares?

She leaned forward slightly, and before her brain could argue with itself, her lips grazed Pearl's forehead, right on her gem. The older gem's eyes shot open, but she didn't move, instead opting to watch as Amethyst pulled away. It was a small, chaste kiss, but it meant a lot. 

"G'night P," Amethyst said, turning to walk away. Pearl grinned.

"Goodnight Amethyst," She responded. 

Amethyst walked out the front door, planning to collect her thoughts, and get something to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this chapter purely self-indulgence? Yep. Do I care? Nah...  
I have no idea how alcohol works so I don't know if fourteen is a lot of alcohol over a few hours or isn't. Please tell me if I'm a stupid idiot. I've never been drunk.  
This chapter is so cliche I'm pretty sure it's already been done three other times in other Steven Universe fics but I really don't care. Making your characters drunk is a great way to reveal more about a situation.  
Oh and yeah, if you look at a picture of the house from the movie, the stairs up to the warp room doesn't have railings. This might just be an animation error, but I'll correct it if I get proven wrong.  
Steven Universe is going to end and I'm crying.  
This is later than I said it would be, but it turns out trying to motivate yourself on editing a chapter that's already fully written is extremely difficult. This chapter is about twice as long as the usual one though, so I think that makes up for it.  
Amethyst is slowly getting over the whole "affection is gross" thing, and is getting braver. I usually don't write fics that only take place in one person's pov, so it's been difficult trying to portray Pearl's feelings as well. I'm trying my best.  
I'm going to update the tags after I post this, or maybe later, idk.  
Also I'm about to hit 100 kudos and I'm freaking out.  
Thank you so much for reading!


	7. Simmer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst helps Pearl out, and gets an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've hit 100 kudos!! Woohoo!!!  
Yeah, it's pretty far past that, but it happened in between this chapter and the last one.  
I will now write two one-shots based around this fic, one from 50 kudos and one from 100 kudos.  
I'll write a third if we get to 500.  
Thank you everyone for reading!!

"Okay! Now move a bit to the right!"

Amethyst shuffled over to the right.

"No, no! That's too much! Go back left!"

She sighed, and sidestepped over to the left. She wasn't a sapphire, but she could tell where this was going.

"Just back over to the right a little!"

She complied, inching over to the right.

"Hmm... Maybe just a smidge-"

Amethyst dropped all of the pieces of construction she was holding, watching as they fell several feet to the ground from the ledge she was currently perched on. She grinned.

"How's that?"

_"AMETHYST YOU MOTHER FU-"_

Bismuth was cut off by the chuckling of Lapis and Peridot, who were sitting on a stack of cinder blocks, watching the shenanigans unfold.

"And just what are _you_ laughing about??" Bismuth asked, crossing her arms.

"That," Peridot said simply, pointing at the pile of metal bars on the ground. Lapis snorted. Amethyst cupped her hands around her mouth. 

"Hey Bismuth!" She called, catching the attention of the gems below. She stepped back a bit before taking off into a sprint, launching herself off of the scaffolding and into the air. "Catch me!!"

"Buh!" Bismuth sputtered. "Amethyst!!"

The air felt cool as it whipped around Amethyst's form, her hair flying wildly behind her, tears forming in her eyes from the force of it against them. She liked the feeling of falling more than most, and wasn't as scared of heights as she probably should have been. Bismuth ran around underneath her, attempting to put herself in just the right spot. The smaller gem just casually soared towards the earth. Of course Bismuth caught her, but she stumbled and fell backwards from the impact. It hurt, but Amethyst was used to a few scrapes and bruises.

"Thanks man," She smirked, brushing herself off as she rolled off of Bismuth. 

They had been at it all morning, ever since Amethyst walked into Little Homeworld for a visit very early in the morning. Bismuth was attempting to fix what Spinel had both mistakenly and intentionally destroyed. The giant pizza-cutter incident had not been forgotten. The injector breaking apart Beach city didn't help with the stability of Little Homeword, either. A ton of Bismuth's hard work was reduced to shambles. She took it like a champ, however, and simply designated herself to working even harder. It still took a long time to clean up the mess. The smaller projects were taken on first, before Bismuth dedicated her and her team to the torn up scaffolding. It was nearly finished, no thanks to Amethyst and her own practical jokes.

She really did respect Bismuth for being able to brush off such a hard blow. No one would have expected the blacksmith to be so keen towards her original purpose, as several gems absolutely despised what they were made for, since it had kept them "trapped" for so long. But ever since Bismuth had fixed up Steven's house, she found herself wanting to pursue new projects, and the larger gem became increasingly enamored with construction. When gems wanted to get away from Homeworld, for many different reasons, she volunteered herself to give them a home. Having to fix what she had already poured her heart into couldn't have been easy.

But, Amethyst was a simple gem. And she was bored. 

"Could you maybe, I don't know, _not_ launch yourself from something hundreds of feet above the ground?" Bismuth questioned sarcastically, standing with a certain annoyance in her movements, hard and distinct.

"Aw, but you saved me anyway," Amethyst replied, fluttering her eyelashes from where she laid in the dirt. The taller gem snorted.

"I'm not your Bismuth in shining armor," She countered, chuckling. "Save your damn self."

"Haven't you cracked your gem pulling a stunt like that?" Peridot suddenly chimed in, waltzing over to offer her hand to Amethyst. She took it gratefully, pulling herself up.

"Yup."

"Great. She's got a death wish too. Could you _please_ let me get my work done?" Bismuth practically begged. 

"Dude, we've been at this all night! And _you've_ been at this all _week_," Amethyst argued, crossing her arms. "Take a break, B. It's almost done anyway."

Bismuth rolled her eyes, but dropped the conversation and went to go lean against a wall a little ways off. That was her way of admitting defeat.

"Finally," Amethyst huffed, joining Lapis atop the pile. The blue gem sniffed the air, and rested her head on her hand. 

"You still reek of alcohol," She mumbled, peering at her lazily.

"Gee thanks," Amethyst replied. "Maybe I'll take a swim to wash it off. You guys in?" 

"Sure!" Peridot agreed. Lapis shivered. 

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks," She said, grinning nervously.

"Relax, Lazuli. We can just hit up a swimming pool instead," Amethyst reassured.

"Aren't all of the pools in Beach City residential?" Peridot inquired. 

"We don't gotta tell nobody."

Lapis guffawed, laughing as Peridot stood slightly bewildered. They were interrupted by the jingle of some theme song. Camp Whining Dorks? Something like that. Steven had tried to watch that show with her once, but it was way too cheesy for Amethyst to enjoy. Peridot loved it though, and she wasn't about to judge her friend over something as silly as a show. She may have teased her once or twice, but that was about it. Her friend slid off the cinder blocks quickly, rushing over to the noise.

"Hold on a sec!" Peridot squawked, running to a metal barrel full of junk. She used her ferrokinesis to send the barrel flying towards herself, it's contents dumping all over the ground. "Aha!"

A rather beat up cellphone emerged from the pile, floating through the air to Peridot's hands. The gem was very keen towards human technology, and it hadn't been long before she discovered cell phones. In fact, Peridot had been a big help towards expanding human cellular reception across space, and had acted as the human to Diamond translator for how to combine their technologies. Steven had been very thankful for that. Her cellphone was a strange shape, covered in little glowing and metallic gadgets that served some sort of complex purpose or another. At least, that's what Peridot said. The thing was so large and stupid it doubled as a flip phone _and_ a smart phone. Since it would probably never be able to fit into any sort of phone case, even a handmade one, Peridot had put a few stickers on it. It truly was a chaotic looking piece of garbage. Amethyst could appreciate it for that. The phone was flipped open, and a Homeworld-esce type of hologram emerged from it's camera. It floated in front of her, the phone itself pressed against the side of her head. The hologram displayed little audio lines for when the person calling spoke.

"Hello? Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG, speaking," She chirped with her usual greeting. Amethyst had to roll her eyes at the formality. She watched the audio lines jiggle.

the green gem's face scrunched up, and she looked confused. But that was a typical face she made, so Amethyst didn't think much of it. 

"Uhhh... You alright?" She mumbled, and Amethyst looked at her with a frown. "Yeah, um, okay?"

Peridot waddled over towards her, stretching her arm out to hand Amethyst the cell phone. 

"It's for you..."

Amethyst shot Lapis a look, who merely shrugged. She gripped the phone, and stared at it for a second, wondering how she was even supposed to use the thing. Did it have some button you had to hold down to talk, like a walkie talkie? She assumed that it was just like a regular cellphone and used it accordingly. Some stray piece of metal jabbed into her cheek.

"What's up doc?" She greeted, focusing on the audio lines that obstructed her vision.

"Ugghh. Ameethyyysstt..." Someone on the other end drawled. 

"Pearl??" Amethyst sputtered. 

"I think I'm _dying_ Amethyst..."

A jolt of anxiety shot through her, ice cold. 

"Wh-_What??_" She exclaimed, standing abruptly, which garnered concerned looks from her peers. 

"Why didn't you tell me alcohol did this to people??" Pearl groaned, and there was some sort of shuffling noise in the background. 

Amethyst felt a hundred pounds being lifted off her shoulders, and breathed a sigh of relief. 

"You aren't dying Pearl, you're hungover," She grumbled, hearing Lapis snort from somewhere behind her. "And I _did_ tell you that, but you and the pearls wanted to go out regardless."

"Well this is very uncomfortable and disgusting and I absolutely despise it. Where are you?"

"Okay, drama queen," Amethyst snickered slightly. Despite this, she felt a bit guilty. "Sorry, I should be there. I've been out all night and lost track of time."

"It's quite alright Amethyst, I can take care of myself," Pearl sounded slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, sure. That's why you're calling me, right?"

"Amethyst-" Pearl was cut off by a crash in the background. "Stars!!"

"You good?" Amethyst asked. There were a few seconds of silence.

"I knocked over some chairs," Pearl finally muttered. 

"What are you even doing?? Dude, go sit on the couch, I'll be home in a jiffy," Amethyst stepped off of the cinder blocks. She looked back to the others nodding in understanding. 

"Thank you..." Pearl replied. Amethyst remembered something right about then.

"I came back to the house at some point and left you a glass of water on the coffee table for you. Why don't you drink that?" She suggested. 

"I... knocked that over, too," Pearl mumbled, barely audible even over the "highly advanced speaker system" Peridot had boasted about before. 

"Nice one."

"Don't."

"I'm not doing anything," Amethyst smirked. "I gotta hang up. I'm in Little Homeworld so I'll just warp there."

"Got it, I-" Pearl made some sort of noise. "_Ugh not agai-_"

Pearl hung up.

Amethyst shook her head, handing the phone back to Peridot. 

"Sorry guys, we'll have to take a raincheck on swimming. Pearl's having a pretty bad hangover, sounds like," She said, glancing over at Lapis, who wore an amused expression.

"You got _Pearl_ drunk??" She asked incredulously. 

"I got _multiple_ pearls drunk," Amethyst bragged, shooting Bismuth a finger gun. "Gotta go, B."

"You are something else," Lapis chuckled. "We still going swimming later?"

"Yeah, this shouldn't take too long," Amethyst replied, making her way towards the warp, holding up a peace sign as her feet made contact with it. "See ya!"

"Bye!" Peridot screeched, way louder than was necessary, causing both Lapis and Bismuth to cringe slightly. "Tell Pearl I said to get well soon!!"

"Sure dude!" Amethyst said, and was immediately transported through time and space. She watched the flow of the warp pad's energy curiously, before her surroundings formed around her and she was back home. 

She heard a noise from her left, coming from the bathroom, and realized that Pearl must have been upchucking something nasty. She frowned. _She should have been there for her. Pearl doesn't know how to handle a hangover..._ She felt slightly comforted by the fact that the pearls back on homeworld didn't drink as much, and had Spinel to help them out. They were probably much better off. She would call later to check up on them.

The first thing she noticed when turning back to the livingroom were the shards of glass strewn about the floor, and a large puddle of water. She would have to clean that up. How did Pearl even manage to knock that over? She walked towards the bathroom door, and knocked on it softly, as not to make too much noise. Pearl probably had a monster headache as well.

"Hey, you in there?" She asked, pushing her cheek against the door to listen.

"Eerghh... Yes I am," Pearl grumbled. "Please give me a few minutes..."

"Yeah sure, no problem," Amethyst replied. "Ya need me to hold your hair back or somethin'?"

"No, I believe it's passed. I'm just a bit dizzy."

"Okey dokey. Let me know if you need help getting up," She offered, stepping away from the bathroom. 

She waltzed over to the mess in the livingroom, and briefly wondered how she was supposed to clean it up. She needed to sweep up the glass, but there was too much water. But if she dried it up with a towel, she might cut herself. And if was nasty enough, she would probably poof. Doing that right now wasn't really the best idea. She decided to just get too many paper towels and throw it over the puddle. It soaked up most of the water. She carefully disposed of them and got out the broom. Cat Steven brushed against her leg as she swept up the glass, and she nudged her back with her foot so the cat wouldn't cut itself. After dumping it into the trash, she used even more paper towels to wipe up any remaining moisture. There, she was a genuine housewife now. She chuckled. 

Pearl came stumbling through the bathroom door at that point, wobbling over to the couch. She groaned, putting her hand over her eyes. 

"Okay, first off, who turned on the lights?" Amethyst asked, wandering over to the light switch on the wall.

"I did..." Pearl mumbled, peering between her fingers to watch Amethyst. 

"Dude, why?? That'll make your headache a lot worse," Amethyst chided as she flipped the lights off. Sunlight poured in from the windows, but the house was relatively dim now. Pearl removed her hand.

"Ah. That is a bit better," She admitted, glancing around the room. "Why is the human digestive system so disgusting?" 

"I mean, I like most of it," Amethyst shrugged. "But I don't like puking either. It's not fun. Sorry, I should've given you something to help with that before I left."

"You're alright Amethyst, really," Pearl smiled slightly. "This isn't very pleasant but you've done enough already. I remember having a great time last night."

The shorter gem blushed slightly. 

"Heh... What exactly _do_ you remember?" She fidgeted nervously.

"Bits and pieces, but nothing after we started karaoke." 

Amethyst internally thanked the stars that Pearl didn't remember her kissing her gem like an absolute buffoon, because seriously? What was she _thinking??_ You can't just go around kissing gem's _gems_, for fucks sake. She blamed the alcohol. Stupid alcohol taking away your inhibitions... She needed more courage before she went around doing what she wanted to all willy-nilly...

"Yeah, some of it might come back to you, but I wouldn't worry about it too much," Amethyst smiled. "You had fun anyway. It's nice to see you loosen up a bit."

_Yikes._ Where did that sudden honesty come from? Amethyst bit her lip and looked at the floorboards.

"What exactly happened?" Pearl questioned, not noticing her friend's sudden anxiety.

"Oh! Uh-" Amethyst looked back up, and shuffled a bit closer to the couch as she spoke. "You know, I asked you for money to cover the drinks, when you were sober enough to get something out of your gem."

"I remember that."

"I ordered you guys shots and I got a beer, so that I could get you guys home later."

"Right."

"And we played Never Have I Ever."

"Ah! Yes!" Pearl sat up slightly. "You were holding my hand during that!"

Amethyst's face felt very hot. 

"O-oh yeah..." She stuttered, twirling a piece of hair with her finger, staring at nowhere in particular. "Sorry about that..."

"Why are you apologizing?" Pearl asked, seemingly confused. "It helped me feel more at ease."

Amethyst gazed at the taller gem, grinning shyly, getting her hopes up before she could stop it.

"R-really?"

"Yes! I was so nervous, I'm not very good at doing any human-related activities. I thought I was going to make a mistake or do something wrong..." Pearl smiled. "Having you there helped me realize that everything was fine, and that you knew what you were doing, at least."

Amethyst felt something flutter in her chest, and she beamed with pride. 

"So, thank you," Pearl continued. 

"No problem..."

This was so mushy, but Amethyst was so genuinely happy that she found herself not caring if it was.

They both looked at each other for a few seconds, watching, waiting for the next thing to occur. The next sentence, the next action. Whatever was supposed to happen. Did either of them know what? Did either of them know how? What was supposed to happen next? Amethyst had some sort of inkling, maybe a desire, maybe just an idea, but it stood deep within her. It breathed slowly, and took small steps toward the surface. But she wasn't ready yet. 

"Augh..." Pearl suddenly groaned, putting a hand to her head and using the other to clutch herself. 

Right. Hangover. 

"I almost forgot about that," She said through gritted teeth, grinning despite herself. "I was just happy to see you."

Pearl really had to stop saying things like that, because Amethyst was going to combust.

"Hmm," She hummed, deciding to just shove away her stupid feelings for a split second so she could think with her head and figure out what to do. It hardly worked. "Sooo like, you don't like eating, and I usually cure a hangover with greasy food..."

"_Please_ no," Pearl exclaimed. Amethyst snorted. 

"I won't do that to you, chillax," She reassured. "You can't take a pill either, can you?"

"I'd... rather not," Pearl squirmed uncomfortably. She abruptly held her stomach. "Hrrk!"

"God Pearl, please don't hurl!!" Amethyst yelped, waving her hands in front of her. "I can't clean up more than one mess a day! Who do you think I am? You??"

Pearl chuckled in response.

"Just lie down on your stomach," Amethyst instructed, and Pearl did as she was told, sprawling out on the couch. She looked rather strange in the position, as she was usually someone to do everything with a certain poise and grace. Amethyst frowned. 

"Okay, now since you can't eat anything, I'm gonna have to make something for you to drink," She stopped to ponder something for a second. "But I don't think we have all the ingredients..."

"What on Earth would you make that-"

"Good morning, guys."

Steven came down the stairs, yawning and stretching in his pajamas. His gem was exposed slightly as the bottom of his shirt rose with his arms. It was too small for him. That kid wouldn't stop growing all of a sudden. They would have to get him new pajamas. He eyed the two of them curiously as he reached the bottom step. His brain seemed to catch up with him at this point.

"What's up?" He asked, fixing the bottom of his shirt.

"Sorry Steven," Pearl muttered. "You'll have to make your own coffee today..."

"What's wrong?" His head titled to side side in concern. 

"I'm not feeling very we-"

"Pearly's got a hangover, can you help me out real quick?" The shorter gem interuptted, recieving a shocked look from her friend.

"A-Amethyst!!" Pearl hissed, glaring at her. "I didn't want to tell him that!" 

"Aw come on, it's not that big of a deal. He knows what being drunk is," Amethyst rolled her eyes. 

"Still!" The taller gem responded. "It's embarrassing!"

"Literally how?"

"Guys," Steven stated. "I don't care."

The small argument ended there, but Amethyst smiled, and when she glanced over at Pearl again, she saw that she was smiling too. 

"What do you need, Ame?" Steven asked, approaching her.

"I gotta make a mad dash for groceries. Can you watch Pearl? And boil a little water?" She caught Pearl's inquisitive glance, but ignored it.

"Sure, no problem," Steven smiled in the genuine, easy way he usually did. "Can you get me a candy bar?"

"Anything for you kiddo!" She said as she shapeshifted her arm longer, enough so she could noogie him. Just because he was tall now didn't mean he wasn't getting noogies. He laughed, swatting her hand away, and she shapeshifted back to normal. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to fix it, but he already had bedhead. She headed toward the warp, proud of her antics. She grabbed Pearl's wallet on the way out, which was on the counter. She put it there when she got Pearl water at some point. Speaking of which...

"Steve-o, set Pearl up with a glass of water, ya hear?"

"Got it! Bye, Amethyst!" Steven waved.

"Bye dude!" She made a silly face as she transported herself to a warp pad closest to a grocery store. Which turned out to be two states over.

The warp was in a small forest directly next to a small town and it only took about a minute of weaving in between trees to get to a road. Following the road for another couple of minutes led to an old store that sold various produce and nonperishables. It was a family owned place, and she knew the owners personally. She had been there a number of times before. It was a quick in and out of getting the few things she needed, the cashier's chit-chatting taking longer than anything else. She decisively used only bills she knew she had earned herself. Being a Crystal Gem didn't pay much, but mowing lawns sure did. She used a ten with a lipstick mark and a two dollar bill, both of which were easy to identify. 

She triple checked everything as she stepped onto the warp, as she was one to forget things. But, she realized she was just fine, and smiled as her home formed around her. 

"I'm back!" Amethyst called, but not too loudly, remembering Pearl's current state. 

"Cool. Water's boiling," Steven remarked, already sipping on a cup of coffee. 

Amethyst hustled over to the counter, dropping the paper bag full of groceries. She got started fairly quickly, whipping out a kitchen knife to cut up some lemon, lime, and ginger, grinning when Pearl huffed that she was going to poof herself with how haphazardly she cut them. She turned the stove top to low and dumped the chunks of fruit into the pot.

"That's gotta steep for a bit," She said, turning towards Pearl. "You should take a shower."

"I should take a what?" Pearl questioned, looking perplexed. 

"Take a shower. Turning the water from hot to cold to hot to cold helps a lot." Amethyst shrugged. "Need any help getting over there?"

"No, I'm quite alright, thank you," Pearl stood with a surprising amount of precision, before she stubbed her toe on the coffee table. She hissed from pain. After a few seconds, she continued on her merry way towards the bathroom. Amethyst rolled her eyes, the sounds of the shower filling the empty space. She looked over at Steven, who was drinking his coffee. He paused, and frowned at his mug.

"Man, I can never make this as good as Pearl," He said begrudgingly. Amethyst hummed. 

"Yeah, she's pretty great, isn't she?" She replied, barely paying attention. 

Now what the hell was _that?_

She shook her head quickly and reminded herself that Steven had no idea what she was exactly feeling. She had to be more careful than that. Telling Steven might be nice, but at some point last night she had decided that she didn't want to tell other people her current situation. At least not yet. She needed to work up the nerve to tell Pearl first. And if through the grapevine Pearl hears it from someone else? Jeez, she didn't want to go through that. It wasn't that Amethyst didn't trust her friends, or didn't appreciate their advice, but accidents happen. What if she ended up telling Pearl and she ended up not reciprocating her feelings? Things would end up getting awkward for all of her friends, because they were _Pearl's_ friends too. Yeah, she was okay with just Garnet knowing.

Besides, it was possible to get advice from people without revealing everything about a situation.

"Yes, she is," Steven agreed, not noticing Amethyst's little slip up. She shook off her anxieties and leaned against the counter. 

"We should... do something nice for her..." She suggested, trying her best to appear casual. Steven could be dense at times, but she knew he could tell something was off when she said that. He raised an eyebrow at her, and gave a small smirk. 

"Okay, like what?" He asked, taking another sip of his coffee. Amethyst waved her hand through the air as if it wasn't a big deal and she _hadn't_ been thinking about it for the past few days. 

"Pssh... You know..." She stared at the brewing tea instead of looking at Steven. "Like, something to thank her for existing?"

It was silent for a few seconds, and Amethyst gripped the counter behind her, not daring to look at the smug expression that Steven probably had. _He knew. He knew and she slipped up and he knew._

"You mean, like a birthday gift?" He questioned, and she finally looked back toward him. Smiling. He was just smiling like he always did.

"Yeah!" She said. "Kinda like that. But we don't celebrate birthdays so it would be the opposite, just a random gift for no particular reason or anything!"

"An... unbirthday?"

"Yes, exactly!" She said excitedly. Steven just looked at her for a moment, before chuckling a bit, the coffee in his cup sloshing around, but not spilling.

"Amethyst, you're so weird," His giggling increased slightly, and Amethyst was a bit disheartened for a second before he continued. "I think it's a great idea." 

"Really?" She asked weakly.

"Sure! I mean, why not, right?" He shrugged, taking another sip. "Knock yourself out."

"I have no idea what I'd get her," She admitted, checking the time. Just a few more minutes... She added a few mint leaves to the pot.

"Well," Steven put his mug on the counter. "I wouldn't just buy something from the store. Get her something that shows her that you really thought about it and put effort into it. Like, instead of getting her a book, write something."

"I can't write," Amethyst's nose wrinkled up instinctively. 

"That was just an example," Steven rolled his eyes. Amethyst looked forward, out into the living/dining room. One of the chairs was still knocked over. She smiled. 

"I think I got it," She mumbled. 

"Why do you want to get her something all of a sudden anyways?" He asked. 

And there's the ticket. The ultimate question. Amethyst felt nervous, but opted for a half-truth. 

"I don't know, with her being a pearl and all," She began, glancing back over at Steven. "I just thought, maybe I should show her that I appreciate her, since it kinda got rough for her a few weeks ago."

"That's... really sweet of you, Ame," Steven praised, almost sounding surprised. Amethyst snorted. 

"Yeah, turns out I can be nice, crazy, huh?" She joked, receiving a playful nudge from her friend. She snickered. 

Pearl didn't take very long, and came out of the shower around the time the tea was done brewing. She was back in her regular attire, the only evidence of her shower being her hair, messy and disheveled. Amethyst almost tripped into the counter. She regained her composure, and decidedly averted her gaze so she could focusing on making her drink and not think about Pearl's hair and end up spilling boiling hot water all over herself. She used a strainer to separate out the chunks of ginger and other additives, pouring the liquid into a teapot. Because of _course_ Pearl bought a teapot at some point or another. They actually ended up having three. Amethyst chose a blue one. She mixed a ton of sugar and honey into it, probably more than she was supposed to. She liked sugar. Steven was on his second cup of coffee by the time she finished.

"Hey Pearl," She greeted, carrying a steaming mug of ginger tea over to the taller gem, who was sitting on the couch. 

"Hello Amethyst," Pearl responded, watching as the shorter gem sat next to her. 

"Feeling any better?"

"Very much so, thank you," Pearl nodded to herself. "The shower helped quite a bit. Although I still feel like Greg ran me over with his van."

Amethyst chuckled, handing her the mug. 

"If there's anything that'll kill your hangover, it's this," She said proudly, smiling warmly. Pearl grinned. 

Amethyst couldn't help but fixate on a single drop of water that came from Pearl's hairline and traced the side of her face. It slid past her jawline and down her neck, and the younger gem found herself staring. It reached her collarbone before it dissipated into nothing at all. She noticed Pearl about to take a sip. 

"C-careful you- IT'S hot."

_Holy shit, she almost called Pearl hot. In front of Pearl. In front of Steven._ She needed to get a God damn grip.

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Pearl smirked. Amethyst snorted. 

"Here let me help you with that," She offered, with the same joking tone in her voice that Pearl had just used. She shapeshifted one of her fingers into a tiny electric-type fan, that buzzed as it blew off Pearl's tea. 

"Very helpful, Amethyst," Pearl quipped, chuckling as Amethyst wiggled her finger. 

"Anything for you, _my Pearl,_" She said, attempting to sound rather regal. 

The older gem seemed to freeze, and the smile slipped away from her face. She did not look unhappy, however, but taken off guard. Something glinted in her eyes. Amethyst felt slightly uncomfortable, and, afraid that she had done something wrong, shapeshifted her hand back to normal. Pearl didn't react, but instead blinked and took a sip of her tea before snapping out of her trance. 

"This is good!" Pearl exclaimed, looking down at her mug. Amethyst bit the inside of her cheek and attempted to gloss over whatever just happened like she normally did. 

"Glad you like it," She mumbled, her face flushed with purple. "It'll take a bit to kick in, but it's a ginger tea. Ginger helps get rid of the icky feeling. Lemon's there too, and it helps get all the nasty stuff out. Lime and mint both help with digestion, and the honey and sugar just make it taste better."

"Where did you learn all of this?" Pearl asked, taking a slow sip.

"Vidalia," Amethyst shrugged.

She suddenly realized something. 

"Hey uh," She stood up abruptly. "I actually need to go do something, it won't take long."

"Oh."

Pearl almost looked disappointed. Amethyst felt her heart flutter. 

"But..." She started, her fingers twitching. "I'll be back, and we can do something. Together."

"Oh!" Pearl smiled again. "Like what?"

"I actually invited Peridot, Lapis, and Bismuth to do something before you called. You in?" She crossed her arms on her chest and raised a brow. 

"Absolutely," Pearl agreed, taking another sip.

"Great! Gotta blast," She turned and headed for the warp. "I'll be back!"

"Bye Amethyst," Pearl and Steven called simultaneously. 

She knew exactly what to get for Pearl. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. This is late.  
I would like to apologize for the serious gap between when I promised this chapter to when it actually released. It's been a very difficult few weeks for me. I've been extremely busy with school work and my mental health has been fluctuating. I've been having panic attacks more often. I am handling it, however, and we will be back to our regularly scheduled program. Please don't worry, I won't overwork myself. If I did, than this would have been released a few weeks ago.  
I'm very very excited because we are approaching an important milestone in the story in about two chapters from now. Is that a spoiler? Not really. Just get pumped for whats to come!  
The rest of the story is pretty much laid out in my head, I've finalized what I'm going to write and what I'm going to scrap, which took longer than I'd like to admit.  
Amethyst is finally fully getting over her distaste towards her own feelings. She's gonna get _mushy_ baybeee. She's also losing a bit of her fear, and now that anxious filter that caught a lot of what she said is gone. She's going to be a lot more honest.  
I don't know what being hungover is like, but I did a nice amount of research so I think I did pretty well. Please let me know if I didn't write it very well.  
The lesbian tension is so much that even I want to clonk these two idiots for not figuring it out already. But it's accurate, so I just gotta sit here and scream.  
This chapter isn't very exciting, and definitely wasn't worth the wait. But it's much needed context for the next chapter, which _will_ be exciting.  
Thank you for your support. Your comments give me the strength I need to keep writing.


	8. Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Pearl go swimming with some friends, and Amethyst is getting bolder and bolder by the second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Before you read this chapter, I would like to announce the new update schedule! Hopefully this will help me make steady, consistent updates from now on :)  
_Disobedient_ will update every Wednesday!*  
Every Saturday*, one of the following may happen:  
A) _Disobedient_ update.  
B) One-Shot release.  
C) Update or release to a new/current work of mine.  
D) Nothing, if I am in need of more time to work. 
> 
> Wednesdays* are guaranteed to have an update. Saturdays* are not, it depends on how much I can get done.
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> *These days may change for you depending on your timezone. Just know that weekly updates will happen regardless!

The driveway was familiar to her. She recognized the cracks in it. She even spotted a new one as she walked along it. It stretched a good meter or so. Large, purple curtains greeted her. It amazed her that no one ever tried to break into this place, since the garage door was never properly closed. Although, a lot of people in this town wouldn't do that. If you were just an asshole who would steal for no reason, in this town, you'd probably already be loaded and wouldn't have the care to do so. If you needed to do it out of a desperation for money or food, than you'd probably never get that far. Most strangers in this town would give you the shirt off their back if you really needed it. 

Despite that, however, Vidalia always greeted visitors with the barrel of a shotgun. 

"Who's there?? I'm armed!" She shouted as Amethyst drew back the curtains and stepped in.

"Jeez Val! It's just me! Don't aim for the gem!!" She yelped as she covered her chest with her hands. The shotgun was quickly withdrawn. 

"Oh! Amethyst!" Vidalia smiled, resting her weapon against a counter. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

She reached out for a quick hug, which Amethyst gladly accepted. It was a few seconds before she was shoved back harshly.

"How come you don't visit anymore?" Vidalia glared down at her. "This place can get pretty boring without a gem like you."

Amethyst blushed from the compliment. 

"Stop... You're just saying that," She deflected, smiling.

"I'm not, but okay," Vidalia's easy-going grin returned to her face. "How have you been, Ame?"

"Pretty good, despite a hell of a lot of craziness," Amethyst replied, eyeing some of Vidalia's paintings. 

"I get that," Vidalia huffed as she stood. "Thanks for saving the planet again, space warrior."

"Pssh," Amethyst dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "Please. You should be thanking Steven. I barely did anything."

"That's not what I heard," Vidalia argued. "I'm a lucky bastard. My house only got clipped from that injector thing."

"Oh man, no way!" Amethyst yelped. "Do you need anyone to fix your place? I know a gem."

"No, no!" Vidalia shook her head. "It got part of my living room, but it's already mostly fixed. Just a new paint job and a new couch and I'll be back to normal."

"Well, do you need a few bucks?" Amethyst asked.

"The mayor is reimbursing the town for any and all funds spent on fixing what was destroyed," Vidalia responded. "Honestly, Amethyst, you don't have to make up for it. I'm fine. My family's fine. It wasn't even your fault."

"I know. I just... feel bad..." Amethyst frowned.

"Don't. In fact, you should feel great! It gave me a new idea for a painting! Wanna see?" Vidalia, as laid back as she was, seemed excited by the prospect of showing someone her art.

"Always, Val," Amethyst vowed. 

Vidalia nodded, leading her back to a larger painting that was situated towards the back of the garage. It was rectangular, that much she could tell, and it was wider instead of being taller. It was covered in a white sheet, preventing her from seeing what the painting was. As it was drawn back, however, Amethyst was able to make it out. 

"Woah. Is that Earth?" She asked, putting her fingers to her chin as she studied the piece. 

"Yes, it is."

It was a piece mostly composed of different hues of blue, making up a dark sky of stars with a large orb in the center. Jagged, vibrant, pink lines cut through it, with specs of the color floating into space. The contrast between the bright pink and muted blues was shocking, to say the least. It wasn't very hard to make out what it was supposed to be. It was the planet Earth being destroyed by the injector's toxin. 

"This is... really cool!" Amethyst finally decided, tilting her head slightly. "And kinda scary."

"Yeah, but I was inspired. That pink goo or whatever was a really pretty color," Vidalia said. 

"And deadly," Amethyst mentioned. 

"Eh."

"I'm surprised," The gem admitted, turning to face her friend. "You don't normally paint landscapes. Or like, scenery, or whatever."

Vidalia shrugged.

"I've been trying to branch out more."

"Well, turns out you can paint just about anything," Amethyst praised.

"Thank you."

A comfortable silence arose between them, and Amethyst nearly forgot why she came in the first place. 

Nearly.

"You want some lunch? I'm making some mac n cheese for Onion," Vidalia asked, looking off to the side. "It's not the fanciest thing, but if Onion eats it then I'm all set."

"Actually? Nah Val... I came to ask for a favor," Amethyst said, fidgeting with her fingers. 

"It's not like you to deny food..." Vidalia noted, a slight tone of concern in her voice. "What's up?"

"I..." Amethyst began, feeling a little nervous. "I need you to paint something."

"Oh! Is that all? Well after lunch you can model for me. Just like old times, right? And-"

"N-no..." Amethyst mumbled, cutting her off. "I need you to paint something for a friend of mine."

"Hmm? You mean like a gift?" Vidalia asked. Amethyst nodded. "That's a first. Is it for a birthday, or...?"

This is where Amethyst hit a kind of wall in her head. Her and Vidalia went way back. Back to when Rose was still alive and when Sour Cream was just a tiny baby. She remembered meeting her, at a park somewhere in Beach City. She was pretty sure that park had been torn down at some point or another, but back then, Vidalia was there, quietly playing with a very small Sour Cream. Amethyst was intrigued. She hadn't seen very many babies, and even fewer up close. They started talking, and their friendship blossomed from there. They would get into stupid amounts of trouble together, but never ended up getting caught. They were pretty good at it. Amethyst was a way for Vidalia to let off some steam, a way to feel like a kid again after she had a kid herself. Vidalia was something calm, something normal, something to run away to when home was too stressful. When Rose and Greg kept getting closer, and Pearl was left in the shadows. Amethyst didn't know where she fit in. But at Vidalia's, all of that was forgotten. She could be herself without repercussions.

When it trickled into something a bit more, and when Vidalia asked her out, she didn't say no.

Amethyst had been in a few relationships before that, and she always enjoyed them. She was a physical type of gem, what could she say? But it was obvious that Vidalia wanted something more than that, even. After Marty, she didn't want to just mess around when it came to dating. She wanted something real. It just wasn't something Amethyst could provide. She had never been in love, she had never fallen for someone. It just wasn't her thing. She couldn't dance this dance. Vidalia did try to make it work. Amethyst liked her a lot, but she never once thought about something more than that. She remembered telling her that, and her being disappointed, but not surprised. Amethyst wasn't the type to settle down for someone, she was the type to keep looking for something fun to distract her from the everyday.

At least, that's who she used to be. 

Vidalia had broken things off just as smoothly as she had started them. It was true that Amethyst felt a connection with Vidalia, and that was probably the closest to a "normal" relationship that she had ever gotten. But, she was glad that they could just be friends. When Vidalia met Yellowtail, she was happy for them.

When Rose died, she shut herself out, and it took a while before she could force herself to talk to Vidalia again. Her modeling and Vidalia painting was something they used to do together, but it started happening a lot more frequently at that point. In the paintings, she never had to lie. She never had to say she was okay when she wasn't. In the paintings, it was just her.

They only talked periodically, and they really should get together more often, but Vidalia was one of the best friends she ever had. 

This was where that wall came in. With most other people, she didn't want to tell them her feelings for Pearl, because of it possibly leading back to her, or making things awkward in the future if things went wrong. But this was Vidalia, someone who had been supporting her since day one. 

And Vidalia didn't really know many gems.

"No, it's for Pearl," Amethyst finally said. 

"Pearl? That taller gem with the short, pink hair?" Vidalia asked, waving her hand a bit higher than her head to signify height. 

"Yeah, that's the one."

"What's the occasion?" Vidalia questioned.

Amethyst took a deep breath. 

"I'm, like, kinda into her...?"

It was a lot easier to say than she thought it would be. 

"Oh? Well that's nice," Vidalia smiled. Amethyst shook her head. 

"No, I mean like _into_ her into her," She corrected, receiving a shocked look from her friend. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah... A lot. She... makes me really happy..." Amethyst blushed and looked away. "Or... whatever."

"Amethyst, I never thought I'd hear you say it," Vidalia put her hand on the gem's shoulder. "I'm so happy for you."

"Heh," Amethyst chuckled. "It's pretty weird."

"How's that?" Vidalia questioned, her hand falling away.

"It's just," The gem bit her lip. "I have no idea what I'm doing. This hasn't ever really happened to me before, ya know? And I have no idea how she feels. So like, I don't know what to do."

Vidalia rolled her eyes. 

"Isn't it obvious, Ame? Who would have thought you were so awkward," She grumbled.

"Rude!" Amethyst retorted, crossing her arms. "Cut me some slack, here..."

"I'm sorry, it's just..." Vidalia paused, before chuckling a bit. "This isn't that different, honestly. You already know what to do!"

"Okay," Amethyst's face scrunched up. "Then what?"

Vidalia sighed.

"Flirt! For God's sake I know you know how!"

Amethyst was confused. 

"Flirt? What, with Pearl?" She laughed a little. "Dude, there's no way. I can't do that."

"Why not?" Vidalia asked, looking annoyed. "It would solve all your problems. You could test the waters a bit, get some hints as to whether or not she likes you back. Which, why wouldn't she? And you could also imply that you're interested in her without coming on too strong."

Amethyst thought about it for a moment. 

"I mean, I guess it wouldn't hurt," She said with a shrug. "But I don't know."

"Just try it, you can play it off if it doesn't go well," Vidalia pointed out. 

"Yeah..." Amethyst mumbled after a moment. "Yeah, sure. Okay."

"Good," Vidalia smiled. "Hey, can we take this inside? The water's probably boiling by now."

She looked back towards the door.

"Oh! Yeah! Sure!" Amethyst quickly agreed. 

She wondered if telling Pearl would be as easy as telling Vidalia. Probably not.

"So, what did you have in mind for this painting?" 

✩★✩★✩★✩

Talking to Vidalia had given Amethyst a new sort of hope and confidence she didn't normally have, and it swelled in her chest as her surroundings formed around her and she was back home again. Vidalia just had that sort of vibe, she supposed. Always exuding a mantra of "Eh, fuck it, why not?" She was so sure that Pearl was head over heels for Amethyst already, that a tiny part of the gem started to believe it. Amethyst was likable enough, right?

_But what about that girl on the motorcycle they met a few years ago? She was so different from her... She wasn't Pearl's type at all._

She shook the thoughts away as she stepped off of the warp pad, trying to hold onto the residual happy feelings from visiting a friend instead. She couldn't think like that. She had to build up the courage to talk to Pearl, not argue about semantics. Besides, wasn't Pearl outside of her usual type, too?

_Wait, she didn't have a type._

Oh yeah. Whoops.

Whatever. It didn't matter, because she was going to stop thinking about that and move forward. Her illogical anxieties weren't going to best her this time.

She finally noticed that no one was in the house, and took a second to look around, but to no avail. 

"Pearl?" She called. "Peeaarl?"

"I'm up here, Amethyst!"

Her head turned towards the noise, which was upstairs. Following it, she walked up the steps and into Steven's room. Pearl was bustling around, picking things off of the floor and putting them back onto shelves.

"Whatcha doing, P?" Amethyst asked, glancing at Party Guy, who was now curled up on top of Steven's bed. Pearl hummed. 

"Just straightening up Steven's room," She replied, brushing her hands off on her legs once she was finished.

"Cool. Where's your phone? I need to shoot Peridot a text to let her know we're on our way over. Uh... If you're ready to go?" Amethyst shifted slightly.

"I am. Here," Pearl grabbed the phone off of Steven's nightstand and handed it to her. 

"Thanks," Amethyst said, opening the text app. She did need to text Peridot, but she needed to do something else first.

Normally, she would have used her own phone, but it was buried somewhere in her room, and it would probably take hours to find it. Especially after the garbage piles had fallen over each other. Her room had reached a new level of disorganization, to where she didn't actually know where things in her room were. Pearl busied herself by making Steven's bed a _teeny_ bit straighter, as Amethyst opened up a contact for Vidalia. Pearl, being the one to mass text everyone in a state of emergency, naturally had all residents as contacts. They were all named, and all had their own pictures. Amethyst quickly typed out a text, keeping her eyes on Pearl so she wouldn't be caught.

'hey val, this is amethyst. im gonna send a couple of ref pics. dont reply, this is pearls phone. thank you for doing this.'

It was easy enough to find a few pictures of Pearl on her own phone. She sent a couple selfies, and one full body shot of Pearl posing dramatically. _Dork._ She even sent a pic of herself, although Vidalia knew what she looked like by now. She deleted all of the texts once they sent, and hoped she wasn't being too suspicious with taking so long. She opened up a contact for Peridot and finally texted her.

'hey nerd, we're gonna do that whole swimming thing now, mkay?'

Peridot responded about thirty seconds later.

'Alright, clod.'

"Peridot said it's cool," Amethyst noted, and Pearl stopped fidgeting with Steven's bed. 

"Excellent! Where are we going?" She asked, smiling brightly.

"Swimming!"

✩★✩★✩★✩

Pearl had insisted on going to a public pool, and not breaking into someone's house. Which meant they had to warp to a city that had a public pool. It was slightly annoying, but Pearl argued getting arrested would be even more annoying. Amethyst couldn't argue with that. She had packed a quick bag of snacks and other various 'pool' items, and then set off with Pearl to meet up with Peridot, Bismuth, and Lapis at Little Homeworld. Once they decided on a city, they warped there together.

It was still a bit of a walk to the pool, and they chatted casually among themselves. They got a few stares here and there from the city's residents, but that was bound to happen when you went outside of Beach City. There just wasn't many gems out and about in other towns. The stares didn't bother them all that much. At some point or another, Pearl's hand slipped into Amethyst's, and it felt so natural at this point she hardly even noticed. Her face flushed a bit purple from the contact, but that was about it.

Approaching the place, it was mostly outdoors, with a few small buildings that were most likely bathrooms or places where you could purchase food, with one exception being the entrance. It was more of a water park than a pool, to be exact, with large, swirling water slides and the occasional fountain. But if you could reasonably swim, than it was a pool, in Amethyst's eyes. It had a few bells and whistles, but that only added to the fun. Unfortunately, these bells and whistles came with an admission price, and Pearl and Amethyst proceeded to argue over who would pay. It was Amethyst's idea, so she should pay, right? But Pearl was very insistent on paying herself. Amethyst said it didn't matter very much since their money all pooled together into the household's budget anyway. But Pearl said that was correct, so they would just use the bills that she knew she herself earned. Bismuth cut everyone off by paying herself. When asked where she got the money, it was discovered that she was quite the expert at general human handy-work, such as fixing sinks. Huh.

The park already had a few people lounging about or swimming, but being a weekday during work hours, it wasn't as crowded as it could have been. A few kids ran past them, one holding a water pistol and shooting his friend with it. 

"Are we even allowed to be here?" Peridot grumbled, looking around with her typical analyzing stare. 

"Yeah, why wouldn't we be?" Amethyst questioned, shifting the bag that hung on her shoulder. 

"Well, this seems to mostly be a gathering for human children and their parents," Peridot noted. "And we are not children. Or parents."

"Nah, guy. Look," Amethyst pointed towards some of the slides. "I've been here before. Kids aren't even allowed on some of those. Trust me, we're gonna have a blast!"

"Maybe we should have invited Steven," Lapis frowned. 

"Oh, he got called off to Homeworld to help Spinel with the pearls," Pearl stated. 

"Jeez, is it really that bad over there?" Amethyst asked, feeling slightly guilty. 

"Not really, Spinel just wanted a helping hand, is all," Pearl replied. 

"Are we going to swim, or what?" Bismuth asked, stepping past the group to stand at the edge of the pool. Pearl peered around, and cringed slightly. 

"Should we have worn... swimsuits?" She bit her lip. "I feel overdressed."

"I never do," Amethyst shrugged. "Who cares what all these people think? Imma do a canonball."

"Hmm," Pearl hummed, and let go of Amethyst's hand. "Maybe..."

Amethyst's eyes widened as her body became light, but only briefly. It was only a few seconds before she could make out Pearl's form again, but this time clad with a very simple blue one piece. She looked slightly embarrassed. 

"Is this adequate?" She asked, and Amethyst couldn't help but stare. 

_Pearl's in a swimsuit Pearl's in a swimsuit Pearl's in a swimsuit-_

"Buh-" Amethyst sputtered, forcing herself to look Pearl in the eyes. "Yeah! Y-you look great!" 

Pearl smiled. 

"Thank you," She said, but paused for a moment, looking around. "Should I change back? People are staring..." 

"Probably because you were like, glowing for a hot minute...?"

"O-oh... I should-"

"Nah," Amethyst cut her off. "I'll do it with you."

She let her form become the air itself, and spent a brief moment deciding on what exactly to wear. It wasn't very hard. When she came back to reality, she was in a simple pair of form-fitting purple swim shorts, and a top that exposed her midriff. She also tied back her hair, since it would be a pain to deal with otherwise. 

"There. See? Now we can be _two_ weirdos," She grinned, but when she looked at Pearl, she stopped talking. 

The older gem looked a bit taken off guard, and her eyes shifted up and down, tracing Amethyst's form. She blushed, and quickly looked away. 

_Woah. Was Pearl checking her out?_

_What? No she wasn't._

_Wait wait wait..._

"Pearl? Are you-"

Amethyst was cut off by Lapis waltzing in between them, towards the pool, stopping at the edge. She turned to face them. 

"I'm not getting changed," She stated, and let herself fall backwards into the water. 

"Me neither!" Peridot yelled, running and jumping in, boots and all. 

"I'm good," Bismuth mumbled, sitting on the edge to just dip her legs in the water. 

Amethyst and Pearl gave each other a look, and the former merely shrugged. The latter chuckled. 

"I'm sorry," She said, clasping her hands in front of her. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

"That's okay," Amethyst reassured, backing up slightly. "I don't either!"

With that, she took off into a sprint, rushing towards the edge of the pool. 

"CANONBALL!!!"

Leaping off the edge, she tucked her feet into her chest and hit the water, creating a significant splash. Bubbles danced across her skin as she sunk down, and she just enjoyed the feeling of being underwater for a few seconds, before swimming to the surface. 

"Amethyst!" Pearl yelped, and she shivered for a second, marching over to the edge. "You splashed me!"

"Ohhh, I'm so sorry Your Highness," Amethyst said in a mocking tone. "Here! Let me _help_ you!"

Her fingers curled around Pearl's ankle, and with a tug, she came tumbling into the water. The noise she made before she hit the surface was all worth it. It was like some sort of weird bird squawk.

"Augh!!" She exclaimed when her head came above water. "Amethyst!"

"Uh oh. Didja get a boo-boo?" Amethyst snickered.

"You'll pay for that!" Pearl declared.

"Try me!"

And with that, Pearl launched forward in the water, gripping Amethyst's shoulders and pushing her down. 

Amethyst opened her eyes to see a pair of blue ones staring back at her, as they slowly sunk towards the bottom of the pool. Pearl looked annoyed and determined at first, before her gaze softened into one of amusement. Tendrils of pink hair floated about her face, and the light filtering through the surface of the water cast a blue hue on her features. 

God, she was beautiful. What chance did she ever have with a gem like her? But the way she smiled at her, was almost enough to convince her that she did have a chance.

Pearl laughed, the air from it creating bubbles in the water, and she pushed Amethyst's face away with her hand. She swam to the surface, and Amethyst followed suit after chuckling a bit herself. 

When they both were above the water, they could finally hear their own laughs. Pearl's was melodic in a way, and Amethyst loved the sound of it. 

"Hey clods!"

The both of them turned towards the sound of Peridot's voice, and were met with the nozzle of a water gun. 

Before they knew it, they were being sprayed with an incredible amount of water. They both cried out, hands outstretching to try to block the attack. Peridot cackled, but was quickly overthrown by a large wave, falling under the surface. Lapis grinned. 

"And that's what you get," She said, crossing her arms. Bismuth laughed from where she sat at the edge. 

When Peridot resurfaced, she redirected her onslaught towards the water-bearer, and Lapis merely raised an eyebrow. She gathered a bit of water in the air, and sent it flying towards the smaller gem. It hit her square in the face, like a punch, and she fell backwards again. The few gems watching laughed in amusement.

"Dude!" Amethyst exclaimed, getting an idea. "We should have a chicken fight!"

Peridot hacked up water as she came back up.

"O-oh?" Peridot sputtered, pausing to cough a bit more, her voice hoarse. "Are there chickens here?"

Amethyst guffawed.

"Pfft- No ya nerd!" She joked, splashing a bit of water at her friend. "It's a game!"

"What kind of game?" Bismuth asked, caution edging into her voice. She knew Amethyst for long enough to know to be careful. 

"Oh my gosh, let me show you!!" Amethyst felt excited all of a sudden. "Swim over here so we can actually stand."

The other gems complied, Bismuth slipping off of the edge and Lapis effortlessly gliding through the water, like she was using her hydrokinesis to push herself somehow instead of bothering to swim. It only took a few seconds for them to reach their destination. Although Amethyst was quite too short to reach the bottom, and Peridot was barely touching the floor with her toes, her head poking out above the water, they were in a pretty good spot. 

"Okay!" Amethyst said. "Pearl, Imma get on your shoulders now."

"Wh-what??" Pearl exclaimed, and was caught off guard when Amethyst launched herself onto her back. "AaiiEEee!"

The taller gem struggled to keep herself upright, but managed to do so after a moment, Amethyst sitting square on her shoulders, Pearl's hands naturally coming to a rest on her ankles. 

"I-is this right?" Pearl questioned, shifting slightly. 

"Perfect, P," Amethyst grinned. "Okay, now Peridot, get on Lapis's or Bismuth's shoulders. I don't care who."

Lapis shrugged, and created a hand out of water. It plucked Peridot up and gripped her tightly, causing the smaller gem to shriek in surprise as she was whipped into the air. Lapis then gently deposited her onto her own shoulders. 

"Now what?" 

"Lapis!" Peridot yelped. "What the hell was that??" 

"There are children in the vicinity and I do not feel like being chewed out by their parents currently," Pearl noted, looking at Peridot with an unamused gaze.

"Well this clod needs to watch it!" Peridot argued, pointing to the gem below her. 

"No... _You_ need to watch it!" Amethyst yelled, glancing down to her companion. "You with me, Pearl?"

"I think so?" Pearl mumbled, bringing her voice down to a whisper. "I just run towards them, correct?"

"Yup!" Amethyst answered, focusing her gaze on the two confused gems in front of them. "CHARGE!!"

"...What?"

Both Lapis and Peridot shrieked in alarm when Pearl and Amethyst made their way towards them. Pearl moved at a surprising pace, and Amethyst was reminded of just how strong the gem was. It made her blush, but she pushed the thoughts away. No, right now she had to focus on the fight. Lapis scrambled away from the pursuit, and Peridot held on for dear life. 

"Fight us like gems! Come on!!" Amethyst urged, roaring in laughter alongside Bismuth, who was just watching this all unfold from afar.

"You must face your enemies head on in a battle!" Pearl said, moving swiftly through the water. 

"You gotta knock me off!" Amethyst joined in, spreading her arms out wide above her head. "I'm wide open! Hit me!" 

"Oh, is that all?" Lapis asked, and stopped running away. With a flick of her wrist, water cascaded over Amethyst and Pearl, and they were plunged underwater. She had to give it to her, Lapis wasn't an idiot. 

She spat out pool water when she ascended.

"Hey!! That's cheating! You gotta push me off with your hands!" Amethyst quipped. "And you weren't even the chicken!"

"Who... What?" Peridot questioned, stumbling across her words. 

"The chicken is the gem on top, the chicken fight is trying to knock the other gem into the water," Amethyst groaned. "You guys are dense. Even Pearl got it!"

"Hey!" Pearl snapped, glaring at Amethyst. However, a smile played at her lips. 

"You should have explained that at the start," Lapis complained. 

"But then it wouldn't have been so funny," Bismuth argued, wiping a few stray tears from her eyes, still huffing a little bit from leftover giggles. "Watching you four idiots stumble around made my whole week."

"See! Bismuth gets it!" Amethyst gestured towards the gem, grinning. "Now we switch out."

She reached her hand towards Bismuth, and the taller gem, catching on, grasped her in a strong grip. She whirled her smaller form up and onto her shoulders with relative ease. 

"Now since you guys were slackin', I took the big guns!" She exclaimed, patting her friend on the top of her head. 

"You mean, the Bis-guns?" Bismuth suggested with a snort. 

"That's not funny, ya dork," Amethyst said, but chuckled despite herself. 

"You're on!" Lapis challenged, moving closer. "We're gonna take you down!"

"We are??" Peridot sputtered, gripping the water-bearer's shoulders. 

"Let's get em' Bis!"

Bismuth, with her broad form, tended to displace a lot of water when she moved, and it created small waves as she got closer to their target. Peridot was screeching about how she wasn't even able to reach Amethyst from the height distance. It looked like it was going to be an easy win, and Amethyst chuckled at the thought.

However, with a swift movement, Lapis extended her arms to push Peridot above her head, who flailed about trying to get her balance. This made the duo only a few inches shorter than the other team, but much easier to topple over. Amethyst noticed this, and extended her arms outwards to shove against Peridot's shoulders. Lapis stumbled a bit, but managed to adjust herself.

Amethyst could hear Pearl cheering for her in the background, and she beamed in a newfound determination from it.

"Looks like I got you now, dork!" She yelled. 

"That's what you think, clod!" Peridot retorted, giving a shove, making Amethyst stagger a bit. Despite the stability of Bismuth, it was hard for Amethyst to stay in place when she had such tiny legs. She just couldn't get a good grip on such broad shoulders when there was a considerable size difference. 

"Really?" Amethyst bit. "Cause it's like taking candy from a baby!"

"The only human baby here..." Peridot managed to steady herself enough to stand up completely, Lapis's hands gripping onto her boots. "Is _you!_"

The entirety of the Lapis-Peridot tower leaned into the final shove, which was powerful enough to send Amethyst flying off of Bismuth's shoulders. She screamed as she cascaded into the water. Peridot cackled in her victory, pumping her fists into the air. Unfortunately, the duo was now very unstable, and the gems celebration was enough to completely push them off balance. Lapis lost her footing, and Peridot went tumbling into the water, mid-laugh.

This made Amethyst snort as she came up above the water. 

"Don't you start!" Peridot griped, jabbing a finger in Amethyst's direction. "I still won!"

The gem's green form was abruptly overtaken by water, and Lapis crossed her arms. 

"You mean, _we_ won," She muttered, rolling her eyes. 

As Peridot started shouting again, Bismuth moved over to Pearl and picked her up gently. She was promptly seated on her shoulders. Amethyst saw this and quickly scrambled over to her friend, who was chewing Lapis out.

"Hey dude, boost me!" Amethyst said, interrupting the bickering. 

"What??" Peridot questioned, but was met with Amethyst launching onto her back. "Ack!"

The shorter gem adjusted herself to slink up and atop Peridot's shoulders, and poked her friend in the cheek. 

"C'mon! We're gonna absolutely destroy Pearl!" Amethyst boasted, and saw Peridot smile.

"Yes, we are," She stated simply, and turned to face their opponents. 

The height difference was a little ridiculous, and Pearl smirked from her mighty throne. But Amethyst just raised an eyebrow, shapeshifting herself taller. Peridot wheezed from beneath her, but the little gremlin was a very stubborn sort of gem, and merely gave a thumbs up when Amethyst shot her a concerned glance. Honestly, they would probably lose.

Amethyst recalled the advice Vidalia had given her earlier, and looked towards Pearl, who appeared to be very determined. She came to a certain conclusion in her head, and decided she wanted to try something.

It would be playing dirty, but it wasn't really about that. And Amethyst had played dirty for less.

Their battle began, hands colliding with each other as they both pushed against each other, simultaneously trying to knock their opponent into the water. Pearl wore a magnificent grin, which made Amethyst feel as if she had already won the game just by seeing the way her eyes lit up. It seemed that every time she thought she knew Pearl's face and her expressions, something would squint or scrunch or sparkle in a way it never had before, and Amethyst would memorize a whole new part of her. She had known this gem for thousands of years, and yet she could still surprise her.

Which is why Pearl quickly veering to the left took her off guard, and Amethyst shook a little as she regained her balance.

What did it mean to be brave? Was it an act of heroism? Was it simply doing something despite the possibility of consequences? Or was it looking your own fear in the eyes, and smiling?

"Woah!" She exclaimed, and beamed brightly at her opponent. "Nice one, Pearl!"

The gem mentioned looked a bit confused by the compliment, probably expecting something snarky. Amethyst noticed the very minuscule splash of blue across her cheeks, and she wondered if it was a trick, some sort of illusion caused by reflections off of the water. Or was it really what she thought it was? She couldn't help but let hope burn in her chest, bright and nearly unbearable.

"Thank you, Amethyst," Pearl shot back, managing to dodge a shove. "You're not so bad yourself."

Time to kick this up a notch.

"Oh, c'mon, like I could really win against _you,_" Amethyst argued, taking a blow to the shoulder without faltering. "You're like, great at everything."

Of course, she wasn't very eloquent, and she bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from cringing. Despite this, Pearl chuckled. 

"Oh, I am not!" She bubbled. "I have never even played this... chicken game..."

Amethyst snorted from the other gems awkwardness.

"Really? Because you're a natural, then," She said, smiling in a lazy sort of way.

She noticed that Pearl didn't avoid a shove as well as she did before, and Amethyst felt a bit queasy from it. What if Pearl really did like her in the same way? Was that why she messed up just then? Or was it a coincidence? 

"I doubt that," Pearl mumbled shyly. "You are most definitely better at this than I am."

"Well..." Amethyst drawled, speaking low enough to where only her opponent could hear her. "Maybe. But, hell, I ain't as pretty as you so I guess that evens it out, huh?"

_Damn_ that was bold. 

Normally, Pearl would have grumbled about the small curse, but instead, shock seemed to overtake her features, and she froze. Her eyes were wide, and the blue that stretched across the bridge of her nose and onto her cheeks was unmistakable. 

Amethyst barely had to touch her for her to go tumbling off of Bismuth's shoulders. When Pearl finally registered that she was falling, she let out a sort of strange wail before hitting the water, and Amethyst guffawed, shapeshifting back to her regular form. 

"Oh thank the stars!" Peridot gasped. "I thought you were going to crush me!"

Amethyst feigned an offended gasp.

"Rude!" She snapped. "We won, didn't we? Can it, Peri-Snot!"

"Okay Ame-Clod," Peridot retorted. 

"That doesn't even work," Amethyst said, but laughed, unable to really get into the friendly bickering. Her brain kept replaying what just happened over and over again, like a broken record. She had gotten Pearl all _flustered,_ by calling her _pretty._

That was huge. This was _huge._

The small voice in her head that would tell her to not get her hopes up, or to not assume anything, seemed to clam up.

Even if this didn't mean anything at all, it felt amazing, and Amethyst wanted to clutch onto it. The idea that someone as incredible as Pearl could harbor feelings for some overcooked runt had her head spinning. 

She leaned backwards, and allowed herself to crash into the water below, surfacing rather quickly. She smiled like a doofus, and couldn't help but look over to where Pearl resurfaced. 

Something flashed in her expression, something along the lines of hurt, or confusion. Amethyst was a bit taken aback, only to realize that she may have done something wrong.

Maybe it was in poor taste to flirt in order to win a chicken fight. She had only wanted to see her reaction, but maybe it came across as dishonest in that moment.

So, she swam closer, nudged Pearl in the shoulder, and let herself be as genuine as possible for a few seconds. It was hard to do this, since she had gotten pretty used to putting up such a confident front twenty-four/seven. It was easier to be brave when you could feign confidence. But she wanted to show Pearl that she meant what she said, so she forced herself to relax, and looked at her in a way she never had before, like she was trying to communicate everything in her eyes alone. All of her care, all of her feelings, worn on her sleeve. 

"Hey, Pierogi," She said softly.

Pearl looked surprised, looking Amethyst up and down. _She understood, but just slightly._ She finally smiled, giggling a bit, her eyes fluttering closed and her head tilting back. 

"Pierogi?" She questioned, tucking away a strand of hair. "You haven't called me that in years."

"Yeah, well, maybe I should," Amethyst mumbled. "Call you that, that is... If it's cool with you?"

"I don't mind at all, Amethyst," Pearl replied. 

The two gazed at each other, if only for a moment, and seemed to understand each other perfectly. If it wasn't for doubts, perhaps they would take the understanding and accept it.

"Alright!! Who's next??" Bismuth asked excitedly, interrupting the two's moment. She was clearly enjoying the game. 

"Me," Lapis stated, monotone. A smile played at her lips, however, so it seemed that she was enjoying herself too.

"Yeah!" Peridot yelled. "Someone boost me!"

Amethyst chuckled, and went to go join the next game.

✩★✩★✩★✩

After a few more chicken fights, the group found themselves too tired to continue, and stopped to catch their breaths. Peridot had gotten extremely good at it, and was winning every match, anyway.

The next few minutes were spent aimlessly swimming, with Amethyst doing multiple somersaults under the water just to get the slight ticklely feeling from it. At some point Lapis challenged her to get a certain number of them in a row without breaking. Amethyst managed to hit about thirty-three before she couldn't take it anymore.

Pearl was a gem who seemed so alien in every environment, with the way she carried herself, the excessive amount of care and grace in every decision she made. It was like you could see the gears turning in her head, the calculations behind every action, so as not to make a mistake. It was most likely something all pearls did without realizing it. For their original purpose, they had to be diligent even in situations they had never been in before. They had to be prepared for anything, adaptable, so they could serve their owner's every need without needing to ask anything. It was one of the few things that reminded Amethyst that Pearl used to be that, used to be degraded in such a way just because it was her "purpose". She wasn't even allowed to make the simplest of mistakes, more than likely. It was one of the few things leftover in Pearl. Everything else about her was so different than what she was supposed to be, it left Amethyst in awe.

The older gem glided through the water effortlessly, her long arms stretching backwards, her chest towards the sky. Her eyes reflected the rays of the sun in a combination of blues, golds, and greens. 

She wasn't even trying, she was just _that_ beautiful.

Amethyst had no idea what she was supposed to do with something like this. With someone like _her._

Sure, she had gotten advice and when it came to the physical side of things, she knew exactly what she was doing. But Pearl was just so different from what Amethyst knew, a being that really shouldn't even give her the time of day. What was she supposed to offer in return? If they ever pursued anything, what was Pearl supposed to gain? These things were meant to be mutual, right? But Amethyst couldn't even fathom what she was supposed to do for her. Pearl had already done everything for herself.

She guessed that all she could do was help her let loose.

Maybe it was purely selfish, but Amethyst loved seeing Pearl lose that alien exterior that she tended to wear. When Pearl just acted without overthinking it, when she made mistakes and laughed about them, when she didn't doubt herself, it was truly a sight to see. But she could do that on her own, she didn't need Amethyst for that.

But trying her best was all she could do. Maybe answers to her questions would come if she actually tried to seek them. 

Amethyst swam over to Pearl, a lot less gracefully, purposely splashing to both annoy her friend and get her attention. It worked like a charm, and Pearl sat up in the water, blocking her face with her arm. 

"Hello, Amethyst," She greeted in a slightly miffed tone.

"Oh, why, hellooo," Amethyst drawled while splashing a decent amount of water at Pearl, who shook her head.

"You don't need to splash, I'm already in the water," She argued, smiling a bit. 

"Oh, whoops! My bad, I totally didn't notice," Amethyst smirked. Pearl chuckled. 

"This really is quite lovely," She said after a moment. "I should do these sorts of things more often."

"Yeah, get out, smell the flowers or whatever," Amethyst shrugged. "It's pretty great. We should hang out more often."

Pearl tilted her head to the side. 

"How often?"

The question sort of threw Amethyst off guard, and she stumbled over possible answers. She opted for the confident one, and gave a coy smile. 

"Whenever you want, Pierogi."

Pearl looked a bit startled, before grinning in a nervous sort of way. 

"I would like that."

Jeez, when did this get so _easy?_ Was she always subtly flirting with Pearl and was just now noticing, or what? Of course _after_ saying something so confidently, she felt like her nerves had just gotten hot-wired, but it was so much easier to just burst out with something bold if she didn't think about it too much initially.

In the midst of this realization, something in the background caught her attention, and she looked past Pearl's shoulder for a brief moment. She beamed at what she saw.

"Dude, you wanna go on the water slide??"

Pearl then turned around, and gazed upon the large, twisting slides at the other end of the park. There was one smaller one, clearly meant for children, a mediocre looking one, for the pansies, and another that looked like quite the beast.

"I don't know..." Pearl mumbled, looking at the slides with a bit of apprehension. "I haven't ever done anything like that..."

"What?? Bro! You've never been on a water slide??" Amethyst asked incredulously, gaping at her friend. "It's so rad! It's kinda like a roller coaster, but with no seat-belts!"

"That... Doesn't sound very safe..." Pearl remarked.

"Yeah well, engaging in a high-speed chase with the police isn't very safe either, Pearly..." Amethyst argued. Pearl appeared to be slightly offended, but laughed. 

"That's fair," She acquiesced. Amethyst felt a weird sensation when she realized that that was typically one of her own lines. She shook it off.

"Shall we then?" She questioned, holding out a polite hand in a mockingly-posh manner. 

"We shall," Pearl agreed, placing a soft hand into Amethyst's. They really did fit so well together...

"Hey!" Amethyst yelled, turning back towards the others. "We're gonna head for the slides, any of you wanna come?"

"You guys go on ahead," Bismuth waved them off. "I've got them diving for quarters."

Amethyst nodded, and her and Pearl made their way over to the edge of the pool. The taller gem easily pushed herself out of the water, and offered a hand to pull the other out as well. The shorter gem obliged, and was reminded of just how strong Pearl was. She blushed and focused on the ground ahead of her instead of her thoughts and their hands laced together.

The slides, upon closer inspection, twisted over and under each other, making a kind of slide pretzel above the water. A faux waterfall flowed around the contraption, adding a sort of natural atmosphere to the whole thing. They decided on the largest slide, obviously. The lines weren't very long luckily, and both gems bounced with anticipation as they approached the front. However, the closer they got, the more uncomfortable Pearl looked. 

"O-on second thought..." She stuttered. "Perhaps this isn't the best idea..."

"You're gonna be fine, P," Amethyst assured, and squeezed the other's hand for good measure. After all, she's been told her hand-holds have healing powers. And it was from a reputable source!

"Wh-what if-"

"Nothing's gonna happen," Amethyst interrupted. They could see the entrance to the slide now, an employee standing at the side of it. She sighed. "Look, I'll go first, and even if somehow you miraculously poof, I'll be there at the end to catch you. That sound good?"

Pearl smiled warmly, the corners of her eyes wrinkling.

"That sounds fine," She said. Amethyst grinned. 

Thirty seconds later, her fingers slipped away so she could sit at the start of the slide. 

"Feet first, swim away after you're done, don't try anything stupid," The employee grumbled from next to her. 

_Pssh. They're no fun._

Amethyst only dealt with it for Pearl's sake, because if they got kicked out then she wouldn't be able to go next.

She shot a thumbs up, which Pearl reciprocated, before she pushed herself off.

_"WOOHOO!!_

Amethyst extended her arms above her, flopping onto her back, whirling around uncontrollably in the tube. Water rushed out from underneath her, and she screeched as she slid down. Light appeared at the end of the slide, and before she knew it, she was flying out of the end and into the open air. She purposely hit the water heel first, so that she shot through the surface of it like a bullet. Bubbles fizzed around her, before she kicked her legs to reach the air again.

She looked towards the mouth of the slide as she swam backwards, waiting for Pearl to come out. The seconds ticked by.

...

More seconds ticked by. 

She didn't bail did she? Damn, she shouldn't have left her there alone, she's probably freaking out.

But very dramatic, high-pitched screams caught her attention, and she looked towards the slide with a smile. 

She'd recognize those wails anywhere. 

Pearl came flailing awkwardly out of the end of the slide, and crashed into the water butt-first. Amethyst couldn't help but snicker, swimming over to check on her friend.

"Hey man, you good?" Amethyst asked as her friend breached the surface. She reached towards her, grabbing her arms gently to lead her away from the slides, so she wouldn't get hit by the next person.

To her surprise, Pearl began giggling, which quickly turned into uproarious laughter. Her shoulders shook and her hands whipped about carelessly. One crashed into the water, accidentally splashing Amethyst in the face. 

"Hey!" She exclaimed, chuckling a bit herself.

Pearl stopped laughing abruptly, noticing what she had done, but merely cracked a smile. She forcefully shoved a good amount of water towards Amethyst, which hit her in the face once more. Pearl started laughing again, loud and unrestrained. 

"C-can we do that again?" She asked in between giggles. "Please?"

"I didn't even think you'd like that..." Amethyst mentioned, rubbing water out of her eyes. "You don't get a lot of Funland rides back home..."

"I've never really tried to understand them," Pearl said, shrugging. "I just let my form adjust itself to what was happening instead of trying to enjoy it..."

_Yeah, that was something she would do._ A gem's form would naturally try to adjust to the environment around them, so in order to get the fun out of a lot of human conventions, you had to actively try to block the form from doing them. It was like shapeshifting, in a way, but less intrusive, since it relied on mere feelings instead of shape itself. It made sense for Pearl, a gem who had wanted to prove a point about how silly human leisure was, to not try to enjoy herself.

"You wanna go again?" Amethyst asked. Pearl nodded vigorously. "Okey dokey."

Pearl beamed, heading towards the edge of the pool quickly. 

"I'm going first this time!"

✩★✩★✩★✩

It was later in the day. The sun hung low in the sky, it's rays casting an orange hue onto the water as the gems continued to swim. The park would close fairly soon, not that any of them were complaining. After a full day of swimming, they were pretty tired.

Amethyst had spent most of it with Pearl, which she had hoped wasn't too suspicious to her friends. She felt slightly guilty for not dividing her time evenly amongst them, but she couldn't help it. Really, she never had the chance to have moments alone with the older gem. She probably spent as much time with Pearl as she did with any of the other three gems there, and considering the fact that they lived together, it was pretty ridiculous. She supposed that now was better than ever, since the empire was dismantled and peace had emerged. Or, as much peace as they could possibly have.

She... definitely wanted to spend a lot of her newly found spare time with Pearl. That wouldn't be too bad. No, not at all. 

Pearl may have felt the same way, given that she seemed genuinely upset at the prospect of Amethyst leaving earlier that day.

But maybe that was just stupid to think. That couldn't possibly be it, right?

_Right?_

Amethyst, in the past few minutes, had taken up a new activity, where she lied against the floor of the pool and looked up towards the surface. Her arms were folded behind her head, and she tried to form bubble rings in the water. Her success rate was fifty-fifty, she wasn't very good at it. She wasn't very good at a lot of things.

She thought about that for a moment, and bit the inside of her cheek.

She had absolutely no idea what Pearl felt.

Sure, she had noticed small things that pointed to a possibility, a _maybe_, an idea. Like the way Pearl would seek out physical contact, whether it be hand-holding or simply just brushing against her for a split second when they crossed paths. Or how she would always get so flustered when Amethyst would compliment her. Or how she always seemed so nervous when they hung out, like she was going to do or say something wrong. Little things that Amethyst had recognized in the past from other people she had dated. Even the way Pearl would smile or laugh at times, seemed like it was meant to be something special, just for her.

Amethyst _wanted_ to believe that she felt the same way. She really did. But there wasn't anything concrete. All of those little things didn't prove jack shit. They could all be written off for something else. How could she know without asking?

She simply was not very good at any of this romance stuff. Not at all.

Her view was suddenly obstructed by a form swimming from above her, and she squinted to try to make out who it was. Everything was slightly blurry from the chlorine.

She was able to tell it was Peridot from the shape of her hair. As she swam past, Amethyst decided to swim back up, and pushed off the bottom with her feet. Breaching the surface, she peered around, and spotted her friend pushing herself up and onto the edge of the pool. She sat there, dangling her legs into the water. Amethyst went to go join her.

She lifted herself onto the edge, sitting right next to Peridot, and looked out across the park. She spotted Lapis making shapes out of the water, and Bismuth chatting amiably with Pearl, who was laughing at what she had to say. Amethyst smiled. 

"You don't smell like alcohol anymore," Peridot said suddenly, causing Amethyst to glance over at her. "You smell like chlorine."

"Thanks, Peri," Amethyst responded with a chuckle. "Good to know."

"I suppose that would make today a success, would it not?" Peridot asked. 

Amethyst paused for a moment, mulling over the days events.

"Yeah, today was pretty cool," She decided. 

They sat their for a few seconds in a comfortable silence, and Amethyst debated on a few things in her mind. She wondered if she should ask Peridot for some advice, since advice had gotten her as far as she had. But she didn't know how. Would it even benefit her? What the hell did Peridot know about any of this kind of stuff?

And then she realized, Peridot was probably an _expert._

"Hey... uh... Peridot?" Amethyst mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"You know that show you watch?"

"I watch more than one show, Amethyst," Peridot griped. "Be specific."

"Like that weird show with the..." Amethyst made various hand gestures. "The dramatic-ass campers?"

"Camp Pining Hearts?" Peridot questioned, her nose scrunching up.

"Yeah! That!" Amethyst exclaimed. 

"What about it?"

She stopped, not knowing how exactly to articulate what she was trying to get across. 

"Okay so..." She began, focusing on her knees. "Like these camper dudes are all huge, love-struck goobers, right?"

Peridot nodded, slowly, looking a bit bewildered. 

"And they're always all like-" Amethyst put on a mocking tone, which was a bit high-pitched and singsong. "Ohh Peter! My one true love!"

"Percy," Peridot corrected, sounding annoyed. 

"Whatever," Amethyst replied. "My point is that they're always, like, confessing their feelings to each other. All the time, twenty-four-seven."

"They don't do it that much," Peridot grumbled. 

"So... I'm just kinda... I don't know... wondering..." Amethyst trailed off, fidgeting slightly. Peridot tilted her head, waiting for her to continue. 

"Wondering... What?" She prodded. Amethyst gave an awkward smile, trying to look casual. 

"How do they... do that?" She asked. 

"Do... what? You mean confess?"

"Uh..." Amethyst coughed. "Yeah. 'Cause they gotta have some sort of idea of what the other person feels, right? How do they know?"

"How do they know if the other person likes them?" Peridot repeated, as if she were just making sure that was _exactly_ what Amethyst was asking. 

"S-sure..." She stammered. 

Peridot stared at her for a long time, her eyes piercing into her, and Amethyst felt like she was going to die right then and there. Finally, her friend sighed.

"They don't," She answered. 

"They... _What?_"

"They usually have no clue," Peridot responded with a shrug. 

"They don't??" Amethyst questioned. 

"Well, it's obvious to everyone else," Peridot rolled her eyes. "But they don't typically know."

"So... What they just go out on a whim??" Amethyst inquired. 

"Pretty much," Peridot said.

"Then... How?"

The green gem seemed to think for a moment. 

"They just... do it. For the heck of it," She smiled. "They get their answer when they ask. You don't have to be brave, necessarily. It's just a matter of sucking it up and doing it."

They fell silent again, and Amethyst looked away. She probably knew that already, deep down, but she was still surprised by it. She was just going to have to tell Pearl, huh? And she was going to have to do it completely blind too. Great. 

Her eyes peered over to where Pearl was, standing in the water. She was still talking to Bismuth, a wide smile adorning her face. It was such a pretty smile, Amethyst decided. She thought about what got her to this moment right here, right now, where she was looking at her friend and couldn't help but feel the intense emotions she did. She remembered being back at the Kindergarten, lost, alone, and a couple of friendly faces greeting her. _"Oh stars! An Amethyst Soldier! Rose- stay behind me."_ Fear. She was afraid of her. But then, when the air of danger was lost, she was concerned. _"Oh! You poor thing! How late do you think- No... That long? None of it? What should we do?"_ It was all so strange, the encounter. _"What?? You can't possibly be suggesting- But we have no idea if it's safe! What if- No... No you're right... Of course you're right, I'm sorry."_ Amethyst liked them, for they were nice to her. Often times the animals or people she encountered weren't very nice to her. _"Yes, I will. Here, Amethyst._ She was getting too close. _"No no! It's alright. I will not harm you. I'm simply trying to have you come with us. It's much nicer there, I promise."_ Soft. Her fingers were soft on Amethyst's shoulder. _"It's alright, I'll help you."_ Holding her in her arms, it comforted her. She remembered being carried to a warp pad, and leaving the Kindergarten for the first time. 

Amethyst had always been trying to be more like Pearl since then, trying to be just as responsible and diligent and organized. Trying to be perfect. It was fruitless, and she only realized that after Rose left.

Because Pearl wasn't perfect, and neither was she. And that was okay. 

"That... makes sense," Amethyst said suddenly, and she smiled. 

She already knew she was going to tell Pearl, but it was now that she came to the conclusion that she was going to to it soon, and she was alright with whatever answer she got. She was so happy to even be able to know someone like Pearl. Being there for her was enough.

All she wanted was for Pearl to feel happy.

"Are you alright?" Peridot asked, looking a little concerned. Amethyst turned towards her. 

"Me?" She asked. "I've never been better."

✩★✩★✩★✩

By the time the group disbanded, the stars were out, twinkling across the sky. Perhaps Amethyst enjoyed watching said stars, but she couldn't help but feel small every time she gazed upon them. They reminded her of just how massive everything was, and how for most of her life, she was just one gem on one tiny planet in the middle of nowhere. Earth really wasn't all that significant in the great scheme of things. It was Pink Diamond who decided that despite it all, the Earth was still valuable, even when it was a mere blip in time and space. Amethyst was just an amethyst, overcooked and small, left to be insignificant. She had hardly even been off-planet. However, she didn't take it personally. It wasn't just her, after all, it was everyone. Millions of years from now, none of their lives will hold any value to any future intelligence. The entire planet itself wouldn't matter very much. Everything was just too big for one moment to hold value.

And yet that moment was everything. It all counted, for just experiencing it all was enough. There was so much detail in every second, in every place, in every person. It didn't matter if today was insignificant. It didn't matter that everything was larger than now. Because _now_ was so precious. And so was everything else. 

Amethyst had noticed it a thousand times, but would come to notice it again: Pearl looked lovely under the stars. They shined in her eyes, pooling into the blue. 

Pearl would not be remembered millions of years from now, but she very well should be. At least that's what Amethyst thought.

But it was okay, because Amethyst could remember her for as long as she was able. Maybe that was enough.

They walked along the beach, as they had decided to take a stroll instead of just warping all the way home. The sand crunched under their feet, and Amethyst remembered Peridot saying something about how there were at least ten times as many stars as there are grains of sand on Earth. The thought made Amethyst feel even smaller. They were both back in their normal clothes and tired from a day of swimming. They ached from it, but still smiled as they walked. 

"What are you thinking about?" Pearl inquired suddenly, and she wrung her hands in front of her. Amethyst shrugged.

"I dunno'," She replied. "Think I'm having an existential crisis or something."

Pearl chuckled, a song for Amethyst alone.

"Those are always fun," She said, causing Amethyst to chuckle as well. 

"Yep. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately," She mused. 

"What about?" Pearl questioned, tilting her head. The light of the stars caught in her eye at a strange angle, and it fragmented across her iris, highlighting streaks of it's color. Amethyst had to stop herself from staring. 

"About life, I guess," She muttered. "About you." 

"What about me?" Pearl asked, a bit too quickly. Amethyst side-eyed her, but averted her gaze, focusing on the beach house that was coming up in the distance. 

"Nearly home," She pointed out with a stretch. She huffed a short laugh. "Last time I was this sore, I had just fused with Garnet."

"Oh, you're not _that_ bad," Pearl argued, grinning a bit. "You couldn't even move then!"

"Huh. You're right," Amethyst agreed. She let her legs give out from underneath her, and she flopped into the sand. 

"Uff!" Pearl uttered, and stopped walking. "Amethyst!"

"Ohhh man Pearl..." The shorter gem groaned, smiling wickedly. "I seem to have lost control of my legs. I can't walk another step!"

"Oh yes you can," Pearl replied, rolling her eyes. "Get up..."

Amethyst pouted her lip.

"Carry me?" She whined.

To her surprise, instead of insisting she got up or simply ignoring her and walking ahead, Pearl complied. She scooped her up and into her arms, so that Amethyst's head laid against her collarbone and her legs jutted out along the taller gems sides and behind her back. A thin arm hooked around Amethyst's back and a second under her thighs. Amethyst awkwardly slinked her arms around Pearl, since she didn't have anywhere else to put them, and they continued on. 

"Y-you haven't carried me like this in years, Pierogi," Amethyst mumbled into a shoulder, shivering slightly from sudden anxiousness. 

"I suppose we're making a pattern of it," Pearl noted, and Amethyst realized her own use of the old nickname. "However, you carried me last night, correct? I wanted to repay the favor."

"You remember that? Huh..." Amethyst blushed. 

"Yes, I do. We're about to head up the steps now. I'm merely warning you."

"O-okay..."

The steps were a bit awkward, and Amethyst jostled about, but Pearl's grip was strong and firm, so she never worried about falling. She would never admit it aloud, but being carried like this, it was nice. It made her feel... safe. In a way. She squeezed Pearl's torso a bit tighter. 

They walked in through the front door, and the house was quiet. Steven was either not home, or asleep. Garnet was probably attending to something. The gem was always trying to busy herself. Everyone was. The living room was empty. 

"Damn, I'm tired," Amethyst muttered. "But I... don't feel like sleeping? I don't know..."

"I understand. I feel the same way," Pearl responded.

"Mmm," Amethyst hummed. "Wanna sit on the couch and do nothing?"

"Perhaps not nothing..." Pearl seemed to think for a moment. "How about we chat?"

Amethyst smiled. 

"That sounds good, P."

She expected to be put down, but instead she was carried over to the couch, and Pearl sat with her still in her arms. She didn't mind; it was comfortable. Fingers laced into her hair, and she felt the drag of them through small knots and tangles.

"Did you have fun today?" Pearl asked, her voice light and comforting. 

"Yeah," Amethyst's eyes fluttered closed.

"I'm glad," Pearl said. "I had fun as well."

"That's good. That makes me really happy..." Amethyst admitted, subconsciously snuggling into the other gems affection. 

"Why?" Pearl asked, her movements faltering for a split second, before continuing in the same fashion as before. "Why would you care about that?"

Maybe it was her exhaustion. Maybe it was the way Pearl was holding her. But Amethyst couldn't make herself lie anymore. 

"You being happy makes me happy," She mumbled. "Because I care about you."

She couldn't tell for sure, but she thought she heard Pearl's breath hitch. Maybe that was just her imagination, though. They fell into silence, and it was so quiet the air buzzed, and things like the creaks of the house and the sound of fingers against hair became noticeable. Pearl shuddered from underneath her. 

"Amethyst?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you kiss my gem last night?"

Amethyst's eyes flew open, and she would have launched off of the couch right then, if Pearl's arm hadn't halted against her back and held her steady. The question had taken her by surprise, but after a moment of regaining her composure, she found herself not wanting to run away. If she had been caught, then she would own up to it.

"G-geez I don't know..." She whispered. "It's just... It's just what felt right... I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Pearl stated, and she twirled her fingers into strands of purple hair once more. "I just wanted to know why."

They went quiet again, and Amethyst thought long and hard. She... desperately wanted to tell Pearl. Right here, and right now. She wanted to tell her everything, pour her heart out, right in the open. She wanted to talk about all the things Pearl did that drove her mad. She wanted to talk about all the things that made Pearl infinitely beautiful. She wanted to talk about all the minuscule details of _now._ The way Pearl smiled, the way she laughed. The way the corners of her eyes crinkled just so. The way her voice always sounded like a song. The way her nose scrunched up when she got annoyed. The way her hair bristled when she ran her fingers through it. How it felt when they fused. How Pearl looked when she danced. How much her words meant to her. How even the slightest touch from her made her feel like melting. How much she wanted for Pearl to be happy.

She just wanted to say how much she loved her. 

_Because that's what this is, isn't it?_

"P-Pearl..."

She thought of all the advice she had received. To be brave. To be bold. To take the proper steps despite being blinded. To embrace her feelings.

A lone soldier. Defective she was. All she was ever meant to do was fight. She couldn't even do that properly. She never fulfilled her true potential. She wouldn't ever be nearly be as strong as she could have been. She wouldn't ever be as great as _her._

And that was okay. Because she was enough anyway.

She smiled, but sighed.

She had come so far... But still couldn't make herself do it. Not yet.

"It's you Pearl," Amethyst whispered. "It's always been you."

"Me?" Pearl whispered back. "What do you mean?"

"I rebelled for you, Pearl. I joined the Crystal Gems because of you. Because you were the only one who really respected me."

A lone soldier, pitied by many. But her? 

_"It's okay to be scared, I was scared once, as well. I might still be. - Oh! Amethyst you have to focus on one target at once! That way your attacks will be much more powerful and balanced! Now, let's try it again. - But I think she's ready, she's already proven herself to me, just give her a chance! - Amethyst! I'm so proud of you! Do you want to try bubbling this one? It was your victory, after all. - No, I'm not mad, I'm just worried about you. You haven't seemed as happy lately. That's what you've been thinking about? Don't believe such nonsense! You aren't 'bad' at all. - She's been spending way too much time with that, urgh, human lately. I don't trust it. What do you think? Haha! You always find the fun in everything... Don't you? - I can't believe this... She wouldn't do this to me... How? I don't... Please don't look at me like that, Amethyst. I just... I can't believe she would... - She's gone, and I'm all that's left... Hehe... Really? You're 'here for me?' I don't need your pity. I just want to be left alone."_

She had always treated her like a fellow teammate. Like an equal. She was stern, but respectful. Quiet and poised. At least before Rose died.

She only became bitter when she was left behind.

"You were my first friend."

And Pearl hugged her tight, burying her chin in the head of hair beneath her.

"Thank you."

Amethyst fell asleep soon after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is like a hurricane. Here in. Duckberg.  
I finally finished this absolute BEAST of a chapter, thank Christ. This bitch is 11,725 words and took me _forever._ I pulled another all-nighter. God hates me. I can't wait for turkey break.  
I really hope it's just as good as the other chapters, please let me know if I need to fix anything or if something can be improved, much obliged.  
Now here's my ideas on why I wrote whatever because I feel compelled:  
-Okay, so I headcanon that Amethyst and Vidalia had a thing. Y'all can fight me on that. Maybe it wasn't absolutely necessary to include in this fic, but I thought it would give more context to Vidalia and Amethyst's relationship. It just makes sense to me, that Amethyst would talk to the person who she was nearly in an emotional relationship with, and that's Vidalia to me.  
-So, they go to a water park. Why? Because uhhhhh what the fuck else are they going to do? All of the corrupted gems are uncorrupted, the war is over, and no one is currently attacking the Earth. Let them have some fun!! And let me have my self-indulgence, please. Self-indulgence is key. It might seem a little out of character for Pearl, but this comes up later, and I'll talk about that when it's addressed.  
-Before you rag on me about Amethyst and Pearl suddenly wearing swimsuits, I present Argument A: The fact that they do the same exact thing in the episode "Beach Party", when they play volleyball with the Pizza's. I rest my case.  
-I have a headcanon that there are multiple different 'sects' of shapeshifting. Like there's the one that changes the shape of your form, there's the gem flip one, there's the one where you can change your outfit, there's the one where you can just force your body to react differently to different situations. This explains why Amethyst loves roller coasters while Pearl just doesn't get it. She's just not letting herself feel the fun. At least, that's what I think.  
-Peridot would also be a great matchmaker her and Garnet should team up  
-Pearl remembers some things from being drunk throughout the day, see if you can spot where ;) (don't bother I didn't actually think about that) But she does remember being carried before being kissed, it just kinda flooded back to her. I'm pretty sure people can recall some things from when they were drunk, right? Especially big things like kisses, maybe? Sometimes? Sometimes.  
-Amethyst is ready to confess, like, completely ready, she's just scared she'll make Pearl unhappy as a result. That's literally the only thing holding her back. Not rejection, it's just the idea of upsetting Pearl. After a long journey, she's come to the conclusion that she is worth something. What an epic conclusion!  
-Amethyst kinda has a stroll down memory lane in the end there, and remembers Pearl meeting her in the Kindergarten, and being carried out by her (that's what the "you haven't carried me like this in years" line is referencing). This is kinda based on some shipart that someone did where it explored the idea of Pearl getting her memories back first in the movie, and so she just carries baby Amethyst around and,,, I just,,, That's adorable and I couldn't help myself. I'll credit the artist so you can check it out yourself if I can find it again. (Update! Artist: @graceekraft on IG)  
-So yeah, Amethyst's memories get really wild at the very end, where she's just kinda remembering a lot of conversations she had with Pearl before Rose passed away, and like right afterwards. This is to comment on the idea that I think they had a great relationship before Steven was born. I feel like the both of them had a lot of mixed emotions about Rose after that happened, and started taking it out on each other. I think I've said this before? But yeah.  
-The whole, 'Amethyst rebelling for Pearl' thing is less of the direct Pearl rebelling for Rose narrative, and more of a figurative take, because I think Pearl was one of the only reasons Amethyst stayed. Amethyst, as this confused, lost sort of gem, sort of idolizes Pearl at first because she seems to have everything together. And when she learns of Pearl's original purpose, she sort of connects to her in a way, because she thinks of them both as being misfits. The 'you were my first friend' line is just the truth, straight up. That's how I think it happened, I think Amethyst connected with Pearl before anyone else. It explains how close they've gotten now, because in the show, they've gotten pretty buddy-buddy with each other considering just how much they wanted to rip each other's heads off in the first season. I just think that there was a 'before', is all.
> 
> Okay, I think that's all I need to talk about. I'm exhausted and still have some homework to do. Cinnamon coffee will sustain me. And warm sweaters. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please leave a kudos if you haven't. If we hit 500, we'll get a 3rd one-shot :)


	9. Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst makes an important discovery.

The first thing Amethyst felt was warmth. It pressed into her back and leaked into her skin, soft and comforting. She subconsciously snuggled into it, and sighed. She loved this feeling, the feeling of sleeping. She always had. Being alone in a Kindergarten didn't leave her with much to do, and she soon learned how to sleep, and how to dream. She'd lie upon her favorite rock and doze off, getting lost in a land much different from her own. Sometimes the dream would make her feel as if she were forgetting something important. A duty? A purpose? Something lost.

Sleeping now was a sort of comforting experience. It reminded her of where she started. Many things about that Kindergarten left negative imprints on her, and she tended to try to avoid thinking about the place. But sleeping was one good thing she could remember about where she came from. So, she tried to commit to sleeping as much as possible, nearly as much as a human would. It helped her scatterbrained-self calm down, and refresh for the next day. She hated waking up. It was inevitable, but it was always a pain. But for some reason, something inside her told her to wake up _now,_ like she was going to miss something important.

The first thing she saw was blue.

It flooded her vision as her eyes fluttered open, and it took a few blinks to remember exactly where she was. 

Right. On the couch. She could make out the coffee table in front of her. She identified a few of the objects on the top of it, trying to will herself to fully wake up. A book. A magazine. A candle. She tried to move, but found that there was something holding her back.

Confusion set into her, and she squinted slightly. She was too damn tired for this. She heard a quiet voice. 

_"Haha, stop that..."_

Pearl. It was Pearl's voice. Right! She fell asleep on the couch last night. Pearl was still there?

It was then that Amethyst noticed the arms around her torso, and realized she was currently being spooned.

_Spooned._ She was being _spooned_ by Pearl. 

_Dude._

It took a few more blinks to remember that she had said something. 

"Mmm... Stop what?" Amethyst croaked, her voice hoarse from a good night of rest. 

_"Stop it! That tickles!"_

"I'm not even moving..." She huffed, raising a fist to rub at one of her eyes. "Urgh... What time is it?"

_"But Pearl... It's funny!"_

Wait. That wasn't Pearl. That was her own voice...

And Pearl wasn't whispering... She sounded... distant...

Her vision was flooded in blue.

She moved her head to try to get a look at the gem behind her, but instead saw a projection above them, and realized that Pearl was dreaming.

Everything clicked in Amethyst's head, and she groaned. They both fell asleep on the couch. At some point during unconsciousness, they started spooning. The warmth on her back was from Pearl. Now, she was dreaming, and it was being projected from her gem. The dream was casting a blue light on their surroundings. The voices were from the dream. Pearl was still asleep. Okay, that all made sense.

She nearly rolled her eyes at how bad she was at putting it all together in her mind. She did just wake up, but, come on, that was just ridiculous.

Knowing better than to eavesdrop, Amethyst intended to go right back to sleep. She let her head fall back on it's side, her cheek pressed against the couch cushion. Pearl's head rested a top of hers, facing up towards the ceiling. Their height difference made it so Pearl curled around Amethyst entirely, and their legs tangled together where they met. It was all very serene. But something didn't fit. Something wasn't right. It made Amethyst pause.

_Her voice. HER voice!_

Pearl was dreaming about Amethyst. 

Her eyes flew open, and she snapped her head back up to stare at the dream. 

Well... A little eavesdropping couldn't _hurt..._ Could it?

_"Okay, okay! I'll stop."_

She allowed herself to take in the scene of the dream. It was in a third-person perspective, so both Amethyst and Pearl could be clearly seen. They were sitting on the beach in front of the house, the waves slowly rolling onto the shore. Dream-Amethyst was currently leaning back into her own space, having previously been intruding on dream-Pearl's. But, dream-Pearl smiled, and let her head fall to dream-Amethyst's shoulder, who grinned. 

_"Hey,"_ Dream-Amethyst said, bumping her shoulder up to get her friend's attention. _"I'll only stop if you sing it again."_

Real-Amethyst's eyebrows furrowed. 

_"Uff! But it's embarrassing!"_

_"Awww c'mon! Please? I think you sound beautiful."_

Dream-Pearl blushed. 

Real-Amethyst did the same.

_"If you insist,"_ Dream-Pearl cleared her throat, and sat up straight up. Her eyes closed for a moment, before opening slowly.

_"♪ Isn't it such... a beautiful night? ♪"_

It wasn't night previously, but as she sang that line, the dream decided that it was. The sky darkened in a matter of seconds. Dream-logic tended to do things like that. No one in the dream noticed.

_"♪ We're underneath a thousand shining stars... ♪"_

Amethyst remembered this song. Steven had performed it for them years ago, after he went missing for over a week. They had looked for him all over the place, all across Beach City. Garnet kept insisting that Steven was fine and he would come home on his own shortly, and that he had an important task to complete before he returned. But Pearl was so worried, that her and Amethyst searched anyway. It wasn't until he came back from an island vacation with a bubbled gem that they remembered his new ability to warp. Back then, things like that were so hard for him. It was so long ago. He had come far since then.

_"♪ Isn't it nice to find yourself somewhere different? ♪"_

Steven was very pleased when he got back, having a new exciting story to tell. He sang that song for them that very night. He used to do that a lot when he was younger. He would write a song, and just get so proud of himself that he would have all the gems sit down and listen to it. He didn't do that so much anymore, but did occasionally, although it was something much more humble nowadays.

_"♪ Why don't you let yourself just be... wherever you are? ♪"_

Dream-Pearl stopped singing, and gazed over at the gem next to her. 

_"Will that suffice?"_

_"Nah. I could listen to you for hours."_

Dream-Pearl guffawed. 

_"Oh stop!"_

_"It's true!"_

Dream-Amethyst chuckled as she laced their fingers together, and they stared at each other for a few seconds. It was just so... endlessly sweet, that the real Amethyst couldn't help but smile. It probably should have made her want to hurl, but it didn't at all. It just made her wish it were really happening. _Where was this all going?_

They both looked out to the water, and stayed silent for a moment or two. 

_"What do you think of me?"_ Dream-Pearl asked suddenly.

It was the same question from the other night. When Pearl was drunk. Only that time it were real. Dream-Amethyst glanced up at her, and smiled in a lazy sort-of way.

_"You already know exactly what I think of you,"_ She replied, and raised Pearl's hand to kiss its knuckles gently. 

Woah!!

_Woahwoahwoahwoahwoahwoahwoah-_

_"I suppose I do."_

_"What about me, then?"_

_"Hmmm?"_

_"What do you think of me?"_

Dream-Pearl paused for a few seconds.

_"I feel for you as the sea does for the shore, as the moon does for the stars. I feel for you as a bird does for its wings, for you make me feel free. I feel for you as the Earth does for its life, for you make me feel beautiful. I feel for you as dance does for song, for you make me feel complete. I feel for you as fire does for air, for you make me feel stronger. I feel for you as a flower does for the spring, for you've helped me fully blossom. I think you are special, unique to all the world, and you bring me such great happiness._

_But you knew all that already, didn't you?"_

Everything froze. Amethyst felt herself short-circuit.

Doubts riddled her mind. What if wasn't what she thought? What if she was wrong? Was she just making assumptions? Was she being too hasty?

_"I guess I did. Maybe I just like hearing your voice."_

A smile.

_**"I love you."**_

Amethyst didn't hear what happened next because she couldn't hear anything anymore. There were too many thoughts to hear, millions at once, slamming into her head. There were too many thoughts to think. All she could do was lie there for a while.

When she regained control of herself, she very carefully peeled Pearl's arms off of her, and slid off of the couch. She quickly replaced the newly found space with a pillow, and slipped out the front door.

Her whole body seemed to buzz as she walked down the porch steps. She had absolutely no idea where she was going, but she found herself wandering down the beach. Her legs shook, and her face felt like it was on fire, so much so that purple burst from the tops of her shoulders and the tip of her nose. Her fingers couldn't keep still, and they played piano on the sides of her legs. Her walk turned into more of a march, each step determined and hard. Her march turned into a run.

Her face split into an incredibly wide grin, so large it hurt a little, and her arms pumped as she ran. She laughed so loud it echoed off the cliff-side and back to her. 

_"WOOHOO!!!"_

She did a cartwheel, a front flip, she spin-dashed several feet forward. She shapeshifted into a number of things very quickly, a bird, a tiger, a mouse, and many more, all while on the move. She grew ten feet tall. She shrunk to a mere few inches. It was probably a new record for just how many times she shapeshifted in thirty seconds. She felt like the air itself, and let herself flow with it. Energy and euphoria was all she knew. 

_She liked her back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We at the climax baby!!!  
I wanted to make this longer but, hey, beggars can't be choosers.  
The new Steven Universe Future trailer has got me screaming and crying.  
There isn't very much to talk about, here. Amethyst has got some rather interesting information now, doesn't she?  
Oh! Dee Dee (Pearl's voice actor) actually sings Be Wherever you are! Look it up on the Youtube, I swear you will not be disappointed!  
(Edit) Forgot to mention this: The "special, unique to all the world line" is slightly inspired by The Little Prince. They say something similar. It's a movie on Netflix, please watch it if you can. It's truly a gorgeous piece.  
I'm going to sleep now.


	10. Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst gets ready to tell Pearl her true feelings.

The garage was quiet, serene, as it typically was. All that accompanied her was the smell of paint and rays of sunlight flitting in through the curtains. She sighed, closing the door behind her. Today was a good day. Calm, peaceful. Walking through the maze of paintings, it almost seemed like it would stay that way. 

At least that was before a surge of purple blasted in through the front of the garage, catching her off guard as it crashed into a container full of paint. She screamed, and reached instinctively to her side to grab at a weapon. 

_"AAAaAaaaAA!!"_

_BANG._

Everything slowed to a halt, and Amethyst stared up at Vidalia with an amazed expression from where she laid on the floor, paint oozing out of its containers. It covered the gem in several colors, and she peered around to look at the newly created holes in Vidalia's supplies, all from a certain shotgun. She stood up, pushing tubes of paint off of her.

"Dude!!" She exclaimed, smearing the blue on her face with the back of her hand. "You almost _shot_ me!" 

Vidalia huffed, and put the shotgun back in its place. 

"Amethyst, you can just run in here like that!" She growled, crossing her arms. "You scared the shit out of me!"

The gem pulled at a piece of hair to see that it was covered in orange.

"Whatever!" She dropped the paint-coated hair to form fists with her hands, energy tingling in her fingers. "Are you done with that painting? Cause I really need that painting."

Vidalia rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. 

"It hasn't even been twenty-four hours yet," She grumbled, and Amethyst actually found herself whimpering. 

"Pl-please??" She whined, twisting her hands together. "Something's changed, and if I don't do this as soon as possible I think I might actually combust so I really need that painting because I want to get this right and-"

"Woah woah woah," Vidalia waved her hands, dismissing Amethyst's rambling. "What are you talking about? What's changed?"

A look of concern washed over her wrinkled features, and any anger that she previously had dissolved. 

"Are you alright?"

To her surprise, Amethyst's face broke into a huge grin, and she began chuckling. 

"Me? I am fucking fantastic!" She bellowed, laughing and running her fingers through her hair. 

"Right..." Vidalia mumbled. "You've finally cracked."

"Val..." Amethyst began, a bit softer now. "She likes me."

"I- what?" Vidalia deadpanned. 

"Pearl!" Amethyst yelled, starting to chuckle again. "She likes me!"

Vidalia still looked confused, before she blinked in realization, and beamed. 

"Oh my goodness! Really??" She bubbled, guiding Amethyst over to a couple stools to sit down with her. "You have to tell me about this!!"

Amethyst felt like one of those giddy human teenagers in all of those movies, gossiping about the prom. She just couldn't stop smiling, and she gripped the stool underneath her, trying to contain her glee. 

"I just, I feel so excited about it, I don't know," She simpered, and bounced her leg up and down. 

"What happened? Are you dating now?" Vidalia asked, nearly as excited as Amethyst now. 

"Huh? Oh no no no- nothing like that!" Amethyst dismissed. "She didn't, like, tell me. I found it out accidentally."

Vidalia tilted her head to the side. 

"And you're sure?" She questioned with a tone of apprehension. Amethyst nodded vigorously. 

"Absolutely," She said.

"Ame, I'm so happy for you," Vidalia said, reaching forward to grip the gem's hands.

"It's funny," Amethyst mumbled, looking off to the side. "I was gonna tell her last night. But I was just so scared that I was going to hurt her somehow. She's been trying to get over one person for thousands of years, I thought that maybe I was being selfish, ya know?"

She looked back, and shrugged her shoulders. 

"But, I realized something. What I feel matters too, right? And Pearl would understand no matter what. She's just that kind of gem. I should have told her last night."

Vidalia nods, and Amethyst lets go of her hands. 

"But now, nothing's holding me back!" She shook with excitement. "I'm gonna tell her, Val. I'm gonna tell her everything! And it's gonna be spectacular!" 

Vidalia laughed and stood up, walking over to a painting that was currently covered with a white cloth. 

"So, why do you need this painting all of a sudden?" She asked, putting a hand on her hip. 

"Well, I was kinda thinking, you know, maybe I should give her the painting when I tell her or... I don't know... I have no idea what I'm doing," Amethyst admitted, scratching at a now-dry patch of paint on her arm. 

"I don't think anyone does," Vidalia reckoned. "When I asked Yellowtail out, it was a whole mess."

"I want to do this right, though..." Amethyst muttered, frowning slightly, swinging her legs on the stool.

"What have you got so far?" Vidalia questioned, gathering up some painting supplies. 

"Not much, I wanna give her the painting and say something nice. But I don't really know what."

Vidalia seemed to think for a moment, before speaking once more. 

"Get her flowers," She suggested. Amethyst thought it over. 

"That isn't a bad idea..." She said. "Keep going, what else you got?"

"Tell her what you like about her, and just be honest. Plan it out and practice it."

"Dude," Amethyst stated. "You're a genius."

Vidalia chuckled. 

"I can get you the painting in a few hours," She relented, taking her supplies over to the covered up painting. "But you need to get me new paints, since you destroyed mine."

"You destroyed those yourself, but roger that," Amethyst hopped off of the barstool, heading towards the curtains. "I'll be back in a jiff."

"Alright! And Ame-"

"Yeah?" She turned around to glance over at her friend.

"You got this," Vidalia gave a thumbs up. 

Amethyst smiled and left the garage. 

✩★✩★✩★✩

Somehow, she willed herself to calm down during the trip to and from the art store, focusing on coming up with and rehearsing lines she wanted to say during her confession. She got strange looks from people because of the splotches of paint on her and her mumbling, but she didn't care. She was hyper-focused, a mantra of shitty pick-up lines and sweet nothings.

"Heh, so Pearl, isn't it weird how dreams are like, these things that... _fuck._"

She kept trying, despite her trouble with words in general. She waltzed into the store and grabbed a basket, heading for the paints. She already knew what brand Vidalia preferred. By judging from the colors that were splotched all over herself, she managed to pick out the ones that were ruined. 

"Hey Pierogi... I just wanted to know if you like fish? B-because I uh... I o-fish-ally want to go out with you! Hahaha..."

Dear God that was terrible... Where did fish even come from? She groaned as she picked out a few extra paints just for the hell of it. She took her basket and wandered over to the front register. 

"So I was thinking, since you like me, and I like you, maybe we could, uh, I don't know..."

Amethyst facepalmed as she stood in line, and the person in front of her glanced back and smiled. She very deliberately ignored them. 

"I want to be with you and I'm hella desperate what about you?"

_Ugh..._

She pulled out some bills she had shoved into her shirt at some point, and purchased the paints. She began her trek back to Vidalia's house. 

"I really like your smile... You make me smile."

Hmm, that was nice. Maybe she would keep that line. She continued to come up with different things to say, and tried to organize them in her cluttered head. By the time she got back, she managed to come up with a couple. As Vidalia helped her scrub the paint off of her form, she suggested some things herself, and they worked together to come up with what she would say.

"Hey P, I need to talk to you. We've know each other a long time, right? Still, it feels like yesterday when you guys found me in the Kindergarten. I always wanted to be like you, ya know? I always saw you as this perfect gem, and I wanted to imitate that from the beginning. You would do something or say something, anything, and I just thought you were magnificent. It took years for me to realize that, you weren't perfect, and everything wasn't as great as I thought it was. But, that's okay, because nobody's perfect. I sure the hell ain't. I still think you're incredible. I mean, I don't know if I would have the strength to go through half of what you have. It's amazing, and I can't think of a single other gem or person that I think about in the way I think about you. Have I ever told you that you make me really happy? Like... a lot. When you smile, I smile. I feel so much more like myself when I'm with you, 'cause I know you like me the way I am. So, I know how you feel, and I just wanted to say that I feel the same way. Can we maybe... talk about that?"

Vidalia said it was perfect. Amethyst wasn't so sure, but it wasn't like she could come up with anything better. She was sent on her way to go do something while the painting was being finished. She decided to go get Pearl those flowers Vidalia had suggested. 

There was a good flower shop she knew about in the next state over, and she walked all the way home to warp to it. It was pure luck that Pearl wasn't still asleep or in the house, or she would have lost her resolve and told her right then and there. She was pretty impatient. 

Warping to the closest warp from the flower shop still put her hours of walking distance away from it, so she found a bus stop, and waited for a bus to pick her up. There weren't many other people, so she sat towards the front, and anxiously watched out the window while she rehearsed what she was going to say over and over again in her head. She wasn't going to mess this up. This was going to be a perfect moment they would remember for hundreds of years. 

She smiled a bit at that thought. _Hundreds of years... with Pearl._

It took about half an hour for the bus to drop her off towards where she knew the flower shop was, and she quickly got off. She had only been here a handful of times, all with other people. This was the first time she had ever gone to buy flowers herself. 

She felt slightly off as she walked down the sidewalk, kicking a pebble in front of her. Even with Vidalia's advice, she was terrified she was going to do something wrong. She fiddled with her fingers. 

But she remembered Pearl's accidental confession that morning, and blushed. 

_She really loved her?_

She could hardly believe it. She didn't have many redeeming qualities, and found that she was just so ordinary. So ordinary compared to someone like Pearl. She didn't know if she deserved her. 

She shook those thoughts away, and tried to think confidently. This would be fine. She was fine.

Pearl's speech revealed so much, she really thought of her as the stars? But they were the friggin' _stars_. She grinned. 

Despite her fluctuating emotions, she took a deep breath, and opened the door to the shop. 

As to be expected, it was covered in all kinds of flowers, and the aroma of it alone was enough to leave Amethyst in awe. She remembered a few times where Pearl went into a tangent about how much she appreciated the wonders of plant life. She would rant and rave for hours over the details of something as simple as a flower petal. Pearl would often say that Rose saw beauty in everything, without realizing that she did the same thing.

Amethyst wandered up to the front counter, where a very friendly looking man sat, typing something away on a cell phone. She tapped her knuckles against the counter to get his attention, and he smiled sheepishly and put his phone away. 

"Sorry about that, no one ever comes in here," He said, leaning forward on the counter. "What can I do you for?"

"Uh... I need some flowers..." Amethyst mumbled. 

He looked around the shop, before nodding and looking back to his customer. 

"Got plenty of those here, lady," He concluded. Whoops. Amethyst was an idiot. What a shock.

"S-sorry, I don't really know what I'm doing," She disclosed, scratching the back of her head. 

"No worries, I get folks like that in here all the time. I'll just be more specific. What are the flowers for?" He asked. 

Amethyst blushed, and looked down. Did she really need to tell this guy? Gazing back, he sat and patiently awaited her answer.

"They're uh..." She bit the inside of her cheek. "They're for a girl..."

The man grinned.

"I see! Well, we've got plenty of different types of roses, do you know her favorite color?" 

Amethyst cringed. 

"Can we do literally anything other than roses?" She questioned. The man nodded. 

"Ah! Yes! So you wanna do something unconventional?" He laces his fingers together. 

"Sure," Amethyst shrugs. 

"How long have you known this girl?" He inquires.

"Hundreds of years," She blurted without thinking, but the man just laughed. 

"It can sure feel like that, hmm?" He reasoned. "Are you dating?"

"What's with all the personal questions?" She asked, a bit uncomfortable. 

"Oh! I'm sorry, but it's good to know, to pick the right flowers," He shrugged. 

"We..." Amethyst groaned. "We aren't dating yet..."

"Then, you'll want to represent the both of you in flowers," He suggested. "And merge them together."

"Like... A fusion?"

"Yes! A fusion of flowers!"

It wasn't that bad of an idea. 

"What are your favorite flowers?" He queried, pulling out a little notebook and a pencil. 

"Uhh... I don't know, anything that smells good..." Amethyst decided. He writes that down, and starts listing different flower names. 

"And what about her? Do you know any flowers she likes?" 

She ponders that for a moment, and tries to remember. Pearl pretty much liked every flower. 

But... There was that one time. 

_"Oh! Amethyst! Look at these flowers!"_

_"They're so... tiny..."_

_"Well, I think they're beautiful. There's so many of them!"_

_"Whatever, P."_

_"Did you know these are named after the respiration of a human child?"_

_"That's... pretty weird..."_

Amethyst comes back to reality. What was the name of that flower?

"Baby's breath..." She mutters. "She likes baby's breath."

He writes that down as well. 

"What's her favorite color?" 

"Blue," Amethyst bursts out with, knowing that right away. "Like a bright blue..."

He jots down a few other flower names, before looking over his list. 

"I think I have the perfect bouquet for you! Here, let me go get a picture!"

He shuffles off of his stool and heads into the back, disappearing for a few minutes. Amethyst taps her fingers on the counter to distract herself. He comes back soon enough, and presents a scrapbook full of pictures of bouquets, pointing to one in the middle. It was gorgeous. 

"Wow..." Amethyst murmured. 

"You like it?" The man asks. 

"Yeah... I'll take it," She said, leaning back as he put the scrapbook somewhere underneath the counter. 

"I can have that done in about an hour."

It was a long wait, but Amethyst had a bit of time to kill anyway. She agrees, and coughs up the cash to pay for the bouquet. It was also quite pricey. Pearl had better appreciate these damn things. 

She walked around the area as she waited, popping into small shops just to look around and buy nothing. She was pretty restless by the time she found her way back onto the bus, bouquet in hand. A little old lady looked at her and smiled. 

"Someone catch your fancy?" She asked. Amethyst squirmed. 

"Uh, yeah."

"The flowers are lovely, I'm sure they'll appreciate it."

She found herself smiling.

"Thanks."

✩★✩★✩★✩

Vidalia was finished with the painting when she got back. After all, the flower trip managed to take a total of four damn hours. She said she was lucky she got a bit of it done yesterday, otherwise there was no way she would have finished it before the day ended. Amethyst appreciated it immensely. The painting looked incredible, and that combined with the flowers made for a beautiful gift. Vidalia wished her luck, and sent her on her way.

During the walk home, it started to get pretty hard to take each step, because her legs felt like jelly. Walking up the porch steps was an extreme challenge. 

She was really going to do it, she was really about to tell her everything. She was going to pour her heart out to the gem she cared about most. She was going to give her flowers and tell her how much she cared. 

She remembered the day that started this whole thing. The world was ending. Pearl didn't remember herself. Amethyst sang a song and shapeshifted into her past lover. Pearl didn't even recognize her. Then they floated amongst the stars and fused into one. 

Pearl wasn't home, which gave Amethyst the opportunity to tuck the painting into a random cupboard. Rather than look for her, she decided to wait. She leaned onto the the dining room table, and willed for Pearl to show up. She mumbled her spiel under her breath, and couldn't keep still, messing with the flowers and bumping her legs. At some point her leaning turned into pacing, and she moved in circles around the dining table. Pearl was taking a really long time to get back from what she was doing... Or maybe she wasn't and Amethyst just couldn't properly process time when her head was an anxious mess. 

She heard the front door open, and she whirled around to face whoever it was, hiding the bouquet behind her back.

And there she was, as normal as ever. Like the dream hadn't happened, like today was just another day. Amethyst didn't know if that encouraged or discouraged her.

It was here that Amethyst remembered just how gorgeous she was, and she stared at the older gem's hair and eyelashes and arms and nose and everything. 

Pearl stood in the doorway for a few moments, humming as she dug through a small tote bag that she had slung around her shoulder. It seemed to be full of papers. 

Amethyst felt frozen, she was so God damn nervous. She bit her lip.

_Say something, you fool!_

"Hey Pearl!" She greeted with way too much gusto. She inwardly cringed, but Pearl glanced up and smiled. 

"Oh! Hello Amethyst," She replied, taking a couple steps into the house before going back to her bag. 

"Wh-whatcha doing?" The shorter gem stammered. _Jeez, get to the point, come on!_

"I'm about to go discuss some blueprint plans with Bismuth," Pearl answered, not looking up. She shuffled forward a bit more. "A new gem wants to move into Little Homeworld, and I just finished discussing ideas for residency with her. If only I could find my notes... Remind me not to ever let Peridot try to 'organize' my things again."

"Ah... That's... neat..." Amethyst mumbled. Pearl was a few steps away from the warp. 

Her head buzzed with excitement and fear, and she sucked in a breath. 

"I-I actually need to talk to you!" She exclaimed, taking a short step forward.

"Hmm? What about?" Pearl inquired, still fumbling about in her bag, her back to Amethyst. 

She scoured her thoughts for the lines she rehearsed, but she couldn't for the life of her remember them. Pearl took another step towards the warp. She got desperate.

"W-wait! You know how we fell asleep on the couch last night?" She blurted.

"Yes? What about it?"

"Well, like, I woke up this morning... B-before you, and I..." She trailed off, and stared at the ground.

_"I think you are special, unique to all the world, and you bring me such great happiness."_

She grinned, calming down a bit. 

"I saw your dream."

She gazed back up, and found that Pearl's movements had completely halted. She couldn't see the look on her face, and she was completely frozen.

"I... just wanted to t-talk about that?" Amethyst suggested, trembling slightly. She decided to forget the speech and just be honest. She wasn't very good with words. "I'm sorry Pierogi... I'm not v-"

"There's nothing to talk about," Pearl stated suddenly, sounding off. Amethyst was taken aback. 

"Wh... What?"

Pearl finally looked at her, and she was smiling.

"You don't need to apologize or worry," She began, turning around completely to face Amethyst. "Because there isn't anything to talk about."

Amethyst's stomach dropped.

"I don't... I'm not following..." She mumbled. 

"Honestly," Pearl chuckled slightly. "I have no idea where such a dream even came from."

Oh.

"It was so strange!" She chuckled a bit harder. "I suppose dreams are like that, sometimes."

_Oh._

"I assure you," She began. "The things I said in the dream, they had no substance to them. It was completely fictional, really."

Amethyst felt herself shaking, and tensed up to try to prevent it. 

"Are... Are you okay?" Pearl questioned. 

Walls were so handy, at times, because you could hide behind them. Like a shield, a terrible, terrible shield. 

Amethyst relaxed, and grinned as naturally as she could. 

"Absolutely! That's a relief."

_Liar Liar LIAR._

"I was all weirded out and I thought this was going to make things all crazy between us or somethin'."

_God shut up. Shut the fuck up. You're such an idiot. How could you ever get it in your head that she liked you? That she loved you?? Get a grip!_

Pearl's expression seemed hard, but she sighed and continued to smile. 

"Right. Well, good thing that's over with."

"Yep! So uh, will I see you later at dinner?" Amethyst asked, trying to seem casual. 

_Shut up. Literally just shut up. You're just as bad as_ her. _You probably managed to manipulate Pearl into having that dream. That stupid fucking dream. Did you really think you could compare yourself to the stars? To song? To spring? You're so delusional. How could she ever like such a coward? A runt? A disgusting overcooked mess? You're so stupid. You really got her flowers? What a joke. What a sad joke. She doesn't owe you jack shit, why would you ever think she might like you? Even a little bit? This is Pearl, who was in some romantic thrupple with a Diamond, for fucks sake. She deserved so much better than you. You are nothing. You are a disappointment. A weak, naive, loser who came out of the ground and learned party tricks because no one stuck around to see you emerge. Because no one cared. No one cares about you. How the fuck-_

"Always," Pearl said, looking through her bag again, before gasping. "I finally found it!"

"Congrats, dude!" Amethyst exclaimed. "Have a nice Bismuth whatever."

"Thank you! Bye bye!"

"Bye Pearl..."

Pearl warped away. 

Amethyst was surprised she didn't immediately break down, but rather felt cold. The smile slowly slipped off her face, and all that was left was something empty and dark. She let her arms fall to her sides, the undelivered flowers burning in her hand. Lavender and baby's breath, with twists of delphinium. 

She knew she was going to breakdown at some point, but even now she still remembered one of the things she had learned through this journey. That she needed to talk to someone. She wandered out the front door, staring at the bouquet in her hand. 

There was no point in picking the petals.

_She loved her not._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha... What's that you've got...? Pitchforks...? **Hahahahaha......**  
May I remind the audience that this _is_ a shipfic, and I do plan on a happy ending. That is all I will say.  
A bouquet of lavender, baby's breath, and delphinium would sybolize devotion, everlasting love, purity, and happiness. I thought it was pretty fitting. The purple of the lavender represents Amethyst, the white of the baby's breath represents Pearl, and the blue represents the both of them, maybe Opal.  
Imma sleep now and wake up to screams of agony from y'all. I swear it'll make it better in the end!! I'm sorry!!!


	11. Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst breaks down, and speaks to the only person she can think of.

Some part of Amethyst's head knew where she was going, but she hardly processed it. What replaced the usual processing was self-deprecation, and she drowned in it. A sea of hate that boiled hot, scalding her skin and warming her bones until she was nothing. She choked on it's waters, and it left behind a bitter flavor that she couldn't quite describe. It blurred her vision, unable to see clearly through it's murkiness. Sounds were dulled out, echoing within her. The last time she felt anything like this was a bit over sixteen years ago, when she lost _her._ She had felt selfish for mourning at the time, since the other's care for her was much more immense. She felt like she had to comfort them before herself. But now, as she walked, she didn't know what to feel.

She could have taken rejection easily. It would have sucked, but it would have been an open wound, ready to heal with time and care.

She didn't get rejection, because there wasn't anything out on the table _to_ reject. This wound was internal, and it bled inside of her, impossible to treat under layers of skin.

She had lied.

She didn't realize how much time had passed, or how hard her nails were digging into her skin, or how hard her teeth bore into her cheek, or how hard it was stop shaking, until she came face to face with a door. Blinking, she could see enough in front of her to be able to make out where she was, and what time it was. It was dark, which meant it was night, which meant she had spent at least a couple hours just wandering around in some sort of limbo. Understanding that she would have to appear in front of someone and act like the world wasn't melting before her, she slipped a sort of fake-personality on. She pulled on the thin fabric of it like it was a delicate nylon.

She raised a fist hesitantly, and slowly made contact with the door in front of her. She waited for, what, ten seconds? It felt like an eternity. She barely remembered to look up and away from the ground before Dr. Maheswaran opened the door. 

"Oh! Why hello there Amethyst. Are you here to pick Steven up?" She asked. Amethyst tried to make out facial features, and could see them individually, but couldn't put them all together. Like a strange puzzle. _Smile, she'll get suspicious._ She forced a grin, but she couldn't feel it. Her face felt tingly.

"N-not really," She answered. "I'm uh, just checking on him. Need to ask him something."

_Liar Liar Liar!!!_

"Well, then come right in," Dr. Maheswaran stepped aside, allowing Amethyst into the quaint little condo. "Why do you have flowers?"

"Uh... I found them," Amethyst mumbled, refusing to meet the doctor's eyes, staring at the center of her face instead. "Do you want them? I... don't really know what to do with these..."

"Oh! Really?" Dr. Maheswaran questioned, taking the bouquet carefully. Amethyst felt sick as she saw the delicate petals. "They're beautiful, thank you!"

"N-no problem... Where's Steven?"

"Upstairs with Connie in her room. I have to say, I've grown to really love that boy..." She trailed off, heading into the kitchen to set the flowers down on the counter. "But I'm glad that an adult will be supervising them for the time being. I would do it myself but Connie doesn't appreciate it. She gets rather upset when I try. I trust her, but a watchful eye never hurt anyone. I would know. I'm a doctor."

Amethyst really wasn't processing what this lady was saying, only hearing the words "upstairs... Connie... room" and nothing else. She had the decency to at least wait until she was done speaking, however, and gave a curt nod when she was. Amethyst went up the stairs slowly, making sure she had a proper grasp on the railing and that her foot was actually on the next step before ascending. If she fell now then whatever resolve she had in front of Dr. Maheswaran would disintegrate.

She managed to make it all the way up, and walk over to the door to Connie's room, before she paused. 

_What is she doing? What is she doing here?_

Her hand connected with the doorknob. She opened the door. 

Steven practically flew three feet into the air from where he was sitting on the bed, landing on the carpeted floor and scrambling backwards. A deep blush sprawled across his cheeks. Connie remained still from the edge of the bed, and looked surprised, but otherwise, uncaring of the intrusion. 

"We weren't doing _anything!_" Steven yelped, abruptly getting up and standing straight, like a very nervous soldier.

"Yeah, nothing at all," Connie grumbled, rolling her eyes. It was here that they both realized that it was Amethyst at the door, and not an overprotective mother. 

Steven breathed a sigh of relief, and relaxed his shoulders. Connie's look of annoyance disappeared, and she just looked surprised again. 

"Oh! Hey Amethyst! What's up?" Connie greeted with a smile, but it faltered for a moment. "Does Steven have to leave?"

"I thought you guys said it was cool if I stayed over here tonight. Is everything okay?" Steven asked, a touch of concern lacing his voice. 

Any of Amethyst's previous nylon personality slipped away, and she felt like she was back in the confusing sea she was in before knocking on the front door. But it continued to surge, storming into something much more intense. It was as if her whole head was buzzing with the intensity of a million bees, and she could feel them swarming inside. They stung her fingers, and she gripped the fabric of her shorts, willing them to go away.

_Why was she here? When did she get here? Why did she come here? What was going on? Hello? Hello??_

"Amethyst?" Steven sounded worried, she could hear his footsteps getting closer. "What's going on?"

_"Nothing's going on, Ste-man! I'm just here to say howdy, as always. Because I'm fine. I'm your big, fun-loving Amethyst. Why wouldn't I be? I'm just... fucking peachy... hahahaaa..."_

She didn't say any of that, unable to find the ability to speak. She sucked in air, trying to say something, anything, to ease Steven's worry. Her gaze was focused on the floor, avoiding their eyes. Her walls managed to hold themselves up for Connie's mother, her being more of a stranger, easy to fool. But the walls were not sturdy. They were hastily built with faulty bricks, cracked from already been being broken down several times before. No matter how much she wanted them to hold strong and steady, so she could put up a front and not have people constantly concern themselves with her well-being when there were more important things to worry about, she simply couldn't bring herself to do it anymore. She was so tired, tired of hating herself and never letting anyone in. It was exhausting, like she had to mentally shapeshift for the day. It felt so good the first time she broke down those walls. Terrifying, yes, but incredibly relieving. Eventually, she had ended up building them up again and again, acting as a dam for the new waters she would find herself in. One of those times being when she first figured out her feelings for Pearl. But after Garnet's advice, and slowly coming to terms with it, they were brought down once more. Her walls could barely hold themselves together at this point, and now that she was in the presence of Steven, someone who she trusted with her life, who she had shoved out of danger only to put herself there time and time again without a second thought, they crumbled to dust.

Her vision blurred to an exceptional amount, and she could hardly focus, and reality began to overwhelm her. Everything was ringing, and even though she had no need for breathing, she found herself hyperventilating. Her entire being burned and buzzed and she couldn't remember what she was doing or what was going on. She could remember small things, like the fact that Steven was right in front of her, or that she was in Connie's room, but it was like she didn't process them and they couldn't connect to each other. They simply faded in and out. 

She felt her body glitch for a second, a moment, and really started to lose her mind.

"Amethyst!" Steven shouted, though she couldn't understand him. He rushed towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders and trying to meet her gaze. "What's wrong?? Are you okay?? Is your gem cracked??"

The feeling of hands on her surprised her, and she tensed up immediately, biting the inside of her cheek hard enough to break the skin. Her stubby nails dug into the sides of her thighs. She glitched again, and she tried to regain herself, tried to keep her form from collapsing in on itself from the stress, but she only felt fear._Who was touching her? Why were they touching her? Leave her alone. Leave me alone!_

"Steven, stop!" Connie exclaimed, hoping off her bed and crossing the room. She slid an arm across Steven's chest, pulling him back and away from Amethyst by a few feet. "I think she's having a panic attack..."

"A panic _what??_" Steven screeched. 

"Jesus Christ Steven! Keep it down!" Connie shushed harshly, her voice low. "You're going to freak her out. She isn't thinking straight right now."

The words of her friends bumped around in her head, and she tried to make sense of them, but it was like they were speaking gem. Amethyst had never learned the language herself, being made on Earth and having no use for it. _Why could she hear Steven and Connie? When did they get here? Or was she there? Everything is wrong. This was bad. She was going to pass out dear God she was going to poof from all of this what was she supposed to do-_

"What do I do?" Steven asked, lowering his voice, looking prepared to tackle the situation head on.

"Follow my lead," Connie said, turning towards Amethyst and approaching her slowly. Steven did as he was told, keeping at a safe distance and mirroring his friend's movements.

She looked at Amethyst, though not directly in the eyes, acknowledging her without intimidating her.

"Hey," She began, softly, reassuringly. "Can you hear me, Amethyst? Try to nod if you can hear me, please."

Connie's voice rang in through the fog in Amethyst's head, and she was confused, but found it grounding. She nodded slowly, feeling a bit dizzy.

"Okay. Focus on my voice. Do you want to sit down?"

Another nod. She felt like she was going to fall over. 

"I'm going to touch you, so that I can help you sit down. Is that alright?"

She hesitated, unsure of exactly what was happening, but nodded again. She felt a gentle press to the small of her back, and she moved with it, stumbling forward. Someone grabbed her hand, steadying her. She could see the bed in front of her, and managed to turn around and sit herself atop it. 

"There we go. Do you think you can speak?"

She shook her head.

"Do you think you could try?"

A few seconds went by, before Amethyst slowly opened her mouth.

"M-maybe..." She stuttered, hands finding purchase in the comforter beneath her. It's texture felt nice against her fingers.

"Can you remember who I am?"

"You're..." She paused, trying very hard to focus. "You're Connie."

"That's right. It's just me. Do you know who else is here?"

"Steven," She quickly answered, pointing weakly to the person sitting to her right. 

"Good. Do you know where you are?" 

"I'm... in your house," Amethyst mumbled, eyes adjusting slightly to her surroundings. She could see a desk, covered in various papers and pencils, and a bookshelf next to it, lined with several thick books. She could see a violin case and a tennis racket leaned up against one corner of the room, and an open closet filled to the brim with clothing, a sharp looking blue uniform catching her eye. She could see a sword mounted on the wall, gleaming pink in the light. "I'm in your bedroom."

"Do you remember why you came here?"

She traced her steps backwards, remembering going up the stairs, remembering giving Dr. Maheswaran flowers. 

Flowers.

Her breathing picked up again, and she griped the blankets beneath her. _No. No no no no no!_

"Amethyst," Connie spoke again. "Breath Amethyst. It's okay, you're in my bedroom, Steven and I are both here. Everything is alright."

"Breathe with me," Steven finally spoke, inhaling deeply through his nose, and exhaling loudly out of his mouth.

Amethyst, having nothing else to focus on, did this. Shakily breathing in and out alongside Steven and Connie. It took a few minutes, the tension leaving her body. Her form felt whole and normal again.

"We..." She muttered suddenly. "I don't need to breathe..."

Steven chuckled, despite himself, and gave Amethyst a warm smile. 

"Maybe not usually, but it looks like you needed it right there," He argued.

"Are you okay?" Connie asked, studying Amethyst's expression.

"Y-yeah," Amethyst stammered, letting go of the blankets so she could hug herself. "I can see or whatever, now..."

"Do you want a hug?"

Amethyst trembled. Now that she was back in reality, riding the end of her panic attack, she could feel her eyes stinging with tears.

"Yeah..." Her voice broke.

Both Connie and Steven, sitting on opposite sides of her, slipped their arms around her, Connie's arms going around her shoulders and Steven's going around her torso. They rested their heads on the tops of her shoulder blades, in the crooks of her neck, and rubbed soothing circles in her back. She shuddered, the tears falling freely now. 

"I-I'm so st-stupid..." She broke out, her voice cracking several times. She stared at a stain in the ceiling, letting her feelings bubble to the surface. 

"No you aren't," Steven objected, his voice calm but firm.

"I m-messed up," Amethyst whimpered. "I-I'm such a s-screw up."

"No, you aren't," Connie echoed, sliding her hand up and down her back. 

"Th-then," Amethyst began, blinking away her tears just for them to be quickly replaced with fresh ones. "Why do y-you guys h-hate me?"

"We could never!" Connie reasoned, pulling back to look at Amethyst with concern. 

"Why on Earth would you think that?" Steven questioned incredulously. 

"Y-you guys never listen to me..." Amethyst confessed, her shoulders shaking as her sobs grew harder. "I-I'm a-always the r-runt. The w-worst Crystal G-Gem..."

"That's not true at all," Steven reassured, combing his fingers through Amethyst's hair. "You're one of the best!"

"Wh-whenever I try t-to say something i-important _hic,_" Amethyst hiccuped. "Y-you never _hic_ listen to m-me."

"Is that how you feel?" Steven asked, his face twisting into one of guilt. Amethyst nodded. 

"I-I just wanna _hic_ be j-just as good as y-you guys... _Hic_ I just w-wanna b-be better than wh-what I am..."

"What happened, Amethyst?" Connie questioned, gentle sounding. 

"I don't-" Amethyst shook violently, her voice coming out as a growl. "-wanna talk about it."

She gritted her teeth, and she held herself tighter. 

"I-I just wanna-"

"Cry?" Steven inquired. "That's okay... You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to. Just let it out."

"Y-your... Your parents..." Her eyes glanced over at Connie. 

"Say no more," Steven mumbled. Suddenly, his gem glowed, and his mother's bubble formed around them, rendering them soundproof. "Go ahead."

At the realization that she wasn't going to cause Connie's parents to come running in freaking out, Amethyst shivered, letting her tears fall harder. Her head dipped down, and she slouched over, her chin nearly touching her chest. She surprised her friends and even herself with an abrupt cry of anguish, piercing the small bit of air in the bubble. Her crying became loud, and uncontrollable, and the force of it caused her to heave tremendously. As her sobs continued, her friends grips only became tighter, holding her head above water. It was like the ocean during a storm, strong, terrifying waves falling over her unexpectedly, causing her to cry out.

She felt exhausted by the time it was over, and her face felt disgusting. Her breaths came out shaky and unbalanced, until she finally managed to stop breathing all together. The bubble fell, and Connie slipped off the bed.

"I'm gonna go get some tissues..." She mumbled, opening the door to her room and heading out. Amethyst didn't even remember it being closed in the first place.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" Steven's voice brought her attention away from the door and to the gem sitting next to her. 

"Yeah..." She whispered, her throat dry from crying. "I just want to get through it."

"But if you tell me what's going on, maybe I can help?" He smiled, and squeezed Amethyst's shoulder. She felt a hot flash of anger, and she knew it was irrational, but she just wanted to completely forget about this entire day.

"There's nothing that can help," She grumbled. "I can't do anything about the stupid situation I put myself in. I'm backed into a corner..."

She couldn't talk to Pearl now, now that she had lied, now that she knew how Pearl truly felt. What was she supposed to do? Confess and put them in an awkward situation? What if she accidentally made Pearl feel obligated to her in the process? She didn't need that, didn't need to ruin the friendship that had taken them so long to get back. 

"Okay... This is serious though, and I really think you outta talk to someone about this, but I'll drop it right now," Steven relented, letting his hand fall. "I'm sorry for making you feel like you're inadequate. You're just as good as any of us, Ame."

She scoffed, finding that hard to believe. 

"Thanks," She muttered, still finding his apology genuinely sweet. Even if she didn't believe she was as good as him, she could accept that he held her in high regard.

Connie found her way back into the room, holding a tissue box and a bottle of water. She handed them both to Amethyst, who wiped the mess of snot and tears off her face, crumbling the tissue in her hand, unsure of where to put it. Steven got off the bed to pick up a wastebasket near the desk, holding it out to the gem before him. She threw the tissues away, opening the bottle of water to drink it all in one go. Gems didn't need to hydrate themselves, but they could still find themselves parched if they went through a physically or emotionally draining task. Their gem bodies would naturally allow this feeling to pass given a few minutes, but she appreciated the effort from her friends. 

"Thanks," She repeated, letting her hair naturally fall in front of her eye. She twisted the empty water bottle in her hands, before tossing that into the garbage too. 

"No problem," Connie smiled, grabbing one of her hands. Steven grabbed the other one. It was comforting. 

"You wanna head back home?" Steven suggested, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. Amethyst's head shot up. 

"What?? No. You were supposed to spend tonight over here. It's fine, I-I can head home myself," She got up from the bed like she was going to do just that, but Steven stepped in front of her, preventing her from moving. 

"Amethyst, honestly, It's fine. You're more important," He replied, rolling his eyes.

"But Connie's gonna go back to space camp soon. You guys should hang while she's here," Amethyst argued.

"I won't be leaving until tomorrow night. I'll be back in time to be in bed at camp in a jiff, thanks to Lion. Steven and I can hang tomorrow. Go ahead," Connie offered, squeezing Amethyst's hand before letting go. 

"But-" Amethyst started. 

"Nope. I've made up my mind," Steven interrupted, smirking slightly. "It's okay, I'll have plenty of time to spend with Connie tomorrow. Besides, it's not like I can't just show up and surprise her at camp."

"Uh! No you will not!" Connie beamed, lightly punching Steven in the arm. "Try to embarrass me in front of all the trainees and my higher-ups and you'll be sorry, mister!"

"Who said anything about embarrassing?" Steven asked, his smirk growing larger, taking on a motherly tone. "I'll bring you a lunch with the crusts cut off of the sandwich, just the way you like it."

"Ugh! Come on," Connie exclaimed, grabbing the sleeve of Steven's varsity jacket and dragging him towards the door of her room. He chuckled at this, and Amethyst couldn't help but smile. "I'll walk you guys out."

True to her word, Connie led Steven and Amethyst down the stairs, pausing at the bottom. 

"Mom!" She called. "Steven's leaving!"

"What?" Dr. Maheswaran questioned, coming out of the kitchen. "I thought Amethyst said he was staying?"

At the sight of Connie's mother, Amethyst looked away, not wanting to draw attention to herself. She knew she looked awful. She could feel Steven's thumb rubbing gently over her hand, comforting her for the time being. 

"Something came up," Connie shrugged. "I'm walking them out."

"Well, have a good night Steven dear," Dr. Maheswaran said with a smile. "And thank you again Amethyst for the lovely flowers."

At the mention of the flowers, Amethyst's grip on Steven's hand tightened, and she shuddered. Steven gave her curious look, but didn't say anything, waiting for Amethyst to respond. 

"You're welcome, Dr. Maheswaran," Amethyst mumbled, barely able to get the words out. Seeing her discomfort, Connie went to the front door, opening it to allow them out of her mother's prying eyes. 

"Goodnight M'mam," Steven respectfully said, pulling Amethyst outside. She sighed in relief. 

"Thanks guys," She muttered, grateful for her friends support. She didn't know how she would have went through all that if it hadn't been for them.

"It's no problem, Amethyst," Connie assured, hopping down her front steps. 

"Where did you learn how to do that?" Amethyst asked, messing with the ends of her shorts. 

"What, handle a panic attack?" Connie inquired. Amethyst nodded. "I've read a lot of books, Ame. One of which happened to be about how to react to different attacks, whether it be a heart attack, PTSD, anything medical really. My mom recommended it to me. It covered panic attacks." 

The explanation was simple enough. Steven stepped forward a bit.

"What should I do if it happens again?" He questioned. Amethyst scowled. 

"It won't happen again, Steven," She retorted, but her objections fell on deaf ears. 

"Well, don't touch them, don't get in their face, and don't be too loud," Connie listed. "Talk to them, try to get them to understand that they're safe, that they're in a safe place and they don't need to panic. Don't ask about what's freaking them out until they calm down enough so they can talk about it. Distract them from the thing that's making them panic. Everyone reacts differently though, panic attacks kinda depend on the person. Just watch them and their reactions and stay with them."

Steven listened, nodding his head, walking down the steps with Amethyst in tow. She slowly let go of his hand, letting herself waltz forward a bit more.

"Got it," He confirmed. "Thank you Connie."

Connie nodded, smiling shyly. 

"When are you coming over tomorrow?" She asked, fiddling with her fingers. 

"Right when I wake up, I promise," He assured, grinning. 

It happened quickly, Steven looking around, seemingly nervous. He then launched forward, his lips connecting with Connie's cheek before he turned around, taking off in the opposite direction. Amethyst stood there, surprised by his boldness, before being yanked away by an extremely embarrassed Steven. She looked between the two, a bright blush covering his face, and Connie standing there with a hand on the cheek he kissed. The gem couldn't help but feel jealous. She shook off the feeling immediately, hating herself for even allowing it to bubble up in the first place.

"Hey!" Connie yelled, exasperated. "What was that for??"

"Revenge for before you left for space camp!" Steven shouted back, grinning like a mad man as they continued to rush away. 

"I'm getting you back!" Connie giggled, turning to head back inside. 

"L-looking forward to it!" Steven yelped, looking nervous again. Connie laughed harder, opening her front door and slipping inside. 

The two were silent for a moment, Amethyst studying Steven's face, which had morphed into one of mortification.

"D-don't say it..." He muttered, shoving his free hand into his pocket.

"I didn't say anything," Amethyst shrugged, smiling. Despite everything that was happening in her life, she still found herself happy for the kid. 

They remained quiet for the whole walk home, until the house appeared around the corner. The lights were on, illuminating the dark beach surrounding them. Glancing around, Amethyst managed to spot a certain crab on the beach, and almost chuckled at the sight of him. Dude was currently hiding in his shell, sitting in the middle of the empty shore. She decided not to approach him, instead staring up at the house with uncertainty. 

"I... I don't want to face them like this..." She admitted, shivering at the thought of Pearl seeing her in the state she was in now. That would certainly bring up a lot of questions. Steven sighed, shaking his head. 

"Shapeshift small, like small enough to fit in my pocket. I'll hide you in there till we get upstairs," He offered, glancing at her with a sad expression. "We can make a blanket fort in my room, like old times."

Amethyst pondered the suggestion. She remembered a much younger Steven in the house, her and him covering the entire house in blankets, to make a comfy paradise made for napping. Pearl had always insisted they clean it up, and Garnet simply found it amusing. Nodding, she felt her body squish itself down until she was merely a pair of arms and legs on her gem, her little head poking out of the top. Steven picked her up easily, depositing her in the inside of his jacket pocket, hand gently cupping her away from the outside. It was pretty dim in the pocket, only bits of light streaming through his fingers. It was also cramped and uncomfortably warm, but she accepted it with the knowledge that she wouldn't have to look into the eyes of those in the house. 

She felt the bump of the stairs as he ascended the porch steps, and she hugged her knees, thinking about the day. She had woken up, seen Pearl's dream, and jumped to conclusions. She went to tell Vidalia about it, and ask for the painting, only to catch her off guard. So she went to buy new paints, and then she came up with the perfect speech. She went to buy flowers, spending time to come up with the perfect bouquet. She came back home, got the painting, and went to tell Pearl her true feelings. But she had been blown off, interrupted with laughter at the ridiculousness at the idea of them being together. She deflected, and lied, and ran away to where she knew Steven was. He had been the only one she felt like she could go to then. Vidalia would have known exactly what was troubling her, and would have gotten unnecessarily angry. Garnet would have tried to give her some stupid advice she didn't want to hear right now. She just wanted comfort, without awareness, without judgement. So she had a meltdown in Connie's house, nearly poofed, and was now about to go home yet again. She was ready for the day to be over. It was way too much for just over twelve hours.

"Hey guys," Steven greeted, his voice easily audible from inside the pocket. She blanched at the confirmation of the others being home. 

"Hello Steven," Said a very particular voice. Amethyst, yet again, felt like she was going to pass out. She sounded _fine._

"Hello, Cutie Pie," Garnet chirped. There was a small pause, which felt like eternities to the gem in the pocket. "Hmm..."

"You alright Pearl?" Steven asked. Pearl? What was wrong with Pearl?

"Ah, just a bit worn out. I'm fine," Pearl dismissed. "I just returned from speaking with Bismuth, and it was rather in-depth."

"Hmm..." Garnet hummed again, a certain gruffness to it. "Steven, go ahead upstairs. Get some sleep."

Steven shifted, and Amethyst wondered if Garnet knew she was in there. 

"Sure. Goodnight, guys," He started to make his way upstairs. 

"Goodnight!"

It was a few seconds before Steven gently grasped Amethyst, pulling her out into the open air. She allowed herself to grow into her true size, slipping from Steven's grasp. They just looked at each other for a moment, his face twisted in concern. 

"We'll have to be quiet," Steven said, voice low. "But we can make the fort still, if you want."

Amethyst nodded, and that was that. 

They spent the next couple of hours quietly making the blanket fort, tying the ends to Steven's dresser and TV stand, hanging parts of it from the ceiling. This fort also incorporated many pillows, for Amethyst was a fan of them, and by the time they were finished, it was very impressive. 

The two of them stayed up late, exchanging scary stories with the aid of a flashlight to shine on their faces. Amethyst had always been the best at them, but she found Steven's stories better than they used to be. When he was younger, he was so innocent and go-lucky that all his scary stories were something along the lines of the Big Donut not having his favorite donut or him losing a stuffed animal. They played a couple of video games, them cleverly keeping the TV under the blanket cieling. She let him win a couple times, enjoying his victories more than her own. He even played a little on his ukulele, which he didn't do very often, having been learning guitar recently. The sound lulled Amethyst to sleep easily, and she succumbed to it, buried in a pile of pillows.

She awoke to the sound of voices, and rather than moving, she kept her eyes closed, and just listened.

"I don't know what's wrong, she won't tell me," She heard Steven whisper. "Whatever it was, it was bad. I've never seen her that upset before."

"What exactly did she tell you?"

Garnet. He was talking to Garnet.

"Well... Something about how she feels like we don't think she's important? She kept saying that we don't listen to her..."

"Hmm..." Garnet paused for a moment. "I think I know what happened."

Amethyst felt sick. 

"You do?? Oh thank God..." Steven sighed, sounding relieved. 

"We shouldn't interfere with this," Garnet decided. Steven made a shocked sounding noise. 

"B-but Garnet-"

"No. This is an issue Amethyst has to work through herself. I will apologize in the morning. I know that I may have disregarded her in the past, but we have grown past that. Pearl has to talk to Amethyst herself. I'll do all I can to encourage them to speak to each other, but forcing it will only strain things further."

"I don't understand... If we just explain to Pearl that Amethyst is upset about something-"

"Steven. Do you remember when you had that fight with Connie a couple years back?"

He went silent.

"Y-yeah... I do."

"You only were able to make up with her when you spoke to each other naturally. Pearl must realize that her words have consequences on her own accord. I'm sure Amethyst will make that clear to her."

"I still don't get it. This came out of nowhere..."

"No, it was long overdue. They haven't been being honest with each other. Trust me Steven, there isn't much we can do. You can continue to be there for Amethyst and comfort her, but trying to put yourself in the middle of this will only result in the issue being overlooked like it has been several times before." 

It was quiet for a few more seconds.

"Okay... I'll leave it be..."

"Good. I will warn you, these next few days won't be easy. We will support them, and let them work this out. For their sake."

"For their sake..." Steven repeated, sounding crestfallen. 

"Get some sleep, sweet boy. Your heart is far too big, let yourself rest."

"Alright... Goodnight Garnet."

"Goodnight Steven."

It took a long time for Amethyst to fall back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. This chapter was a doozy. I've been planning out this one for a long time. I've got quite a few things I need to address, so I'll just jump right into it.
> 
> -Amethyst had a gem version of a panic attack. That's essentially what it was. The memory-loss thing is most similar to Transient Global Amnesia. But this is merely a human equivalent. I have a headcanon that has to do with self-poofing. From the newfound knowledge that gems can simply get so overwhelmed with emotions that they can poof, I have a few ideas on how a gem form would try to prevent that from happening. I can't imagine that gems don't have a sort of safeguard against this. When they start to become so overwhelmed, let's say, to the point of a panic attack, I think that the form will go completely code red and try to forcibly forget what's happening until they calm down. The best example of something like this happening in the show is in A Single Pale Rose, right after the Diamond attack. That Pearl looks very distant and distraught, and almost confused. She recounts the situation like she's remembering again. The rejuvinator would specifically target this part of gem physiology and use it as a means of wiping the memory completely. Amethyst would have poofed if it hadn't been for Steven and Connie. That's why she was glitching. Her form wanted to give out.  
-Let's talk about the whole "this isn't rejection." thing. I wasn't able to go into much detail, which I will in future chapters, I only alluded to it here. But let me talk about it a bit more. Amethyst wasn't rejected, she was brushed off. This is EXTREMELY important, considering Amethyst's relationship with the other Crystal Gems. In so many episodes, her feelings and her opinions are brushed aside. She's at the bottom of a totem pole that shouldn't even exist. I mean, they're a team, right? Why is the power so unbalanced? It's so stacked against her. This is addressed a couple times, most clearly in the episode Steven vs Amethyst. When Steven is no longer the bottom of the totem pole, and it's Amethyst again, she feels awful. This power dynamic among the gems has pretty much dissolved, but this issue isn't really addressed to the depth I would have liked. She deserves an apology. Now, because of this problem, it's inadvertently affected just how hard she took Pearl's response in the last chapter. Instead of being given the chance to talk it out, like she wanted to, and say what she needed to say, she's completely blown off. This makes the situation completely different, because now Amethyst wasn't able to open up, and she still has all those feelings being held up inside of her like she did in the beginning of the story. On top of that, she's angry at Pearl, and she doesn't think she can talk about this with her anymore. That's a perfect recipe for being completely stuck in disaster-central.  
-I sprinkled some Connverse throughout here to help make the angst easier to digest. Hope that made this a bit nicer to read :) I tried to keep this within movie-canon levels, so I'm not gonna add a ship tag since it's pretty lowkey. The lines "we weren't doing anything!" and "yeah, nothing at all." is a small reference to Monster's VS Aliens. That line in the movie is fucking hilarious. Sue me.  
-Sorry for the very heavy imagery. I'm a slut for metaphors. If it's a little much, let me know. I can always dial it back.  
-Amethyst does, in fact, shove Steven out of dangers way at _least_ once. It happened in the Change Your Mind special, when White goes 'zap zap' at all the Crystal Gems. Look it up. She's such a good mom :)  
-I don't think Amethyst can speak gem. Considering how we know for a fact that all the preprogrammed stuff that gems usually have is void when it comes to first-form Amethyst, I don't think she would understand gem. Pearl said it was very complicated in Monster Reunion, and she would have no use for it. If there's an instance in the show where she reads gem, please let me know.  
-Tiny Amethyst is also canon, if you forgot. She went into a seashell. Edit: Tiny Amethyst is from What's Your Problem. Big thanks to the user jaspers_horns for commenting it :)  
-And yes, Garnet knows _exactly_ what's happening. She predicted that this may have been a path taken earlier, but didn't know whether or not it would actually occur. From context clues, she is aware of the entire situation and how to go about it. Which explains her very specific advice to Steven. 
> 
> That about covers it! Whew! Not the longest chapter, but very emotionally exhausting. It's sad to write something sad :( But it must be done. Please leave kudos if you haven't! Thank you so much for reading!


	12. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New frustrations and misunderstandings bubble up between Pearl and Amethyst, fueled by fear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***This chapter starts with slight horror.***

She blinked.

She blinked again.

The ground was cold and hard underneath her, her face pressed up against wooden flooring. Scowling, she pushed herself off the ground, and took a look around her.

Amethyst was lying in the middle of the house, right in between the coffee and dining table. She confusedly stumbled to stand up completely. She didn't remember falling asleep here. 

It was dark, dark enough to where she wasn't able to completely make out her surroundings. She could only see the faint outline of the dining table, which she reached out for, making sure that it was really there. Why was it so dark? What time is it?

With a loud _'thwap!'_, like a heavy switch being pulled, light enshrouded her. A bright spotlight came down to rest it's powerful beams upon her shoulders. She raised a hand to block it, it stinging her eyes with its intensity. There was a spotlight... In the middle of her living room. She attempted to process this in her tired state.

"Amethyst."

She whirled around, hearing a voice come out of the darkness. She felt a bit more awake, having been taken by surprise, and squinted at the space around her. She couldn't see anyone. Despite this being her own home, she felt nervous, and shivered.

"Wh-who's there??" She asked, still trying to make out whoever was there. 

She could hear footsteps approaching, soft and slow, and a form slipped into the light, frowning in displeasure.

Pearl.

Amethyst immediately tensed up, and she bit the inside of her cheek. A surge of many emotions came at once. Anger, dejection, resentment; they all pricked her with their claws, sharp and significant. Yet, at the bottom of it all laid the bubbling happiness at seeing Pearl, even when she was so upset. It threatened to make her smile, but remembering yesterday pushed the urge down far from reality.

She didn't say anything, deciding to be petty, glaring at the floor and crossing her arms across her chest. 

"Amethyst," Pearl repeated, her voice low. Cold. Unnatural. "Why did you lie to me?"

Shock joined the other emotions, overcoming them and forcing Amethyst to look up. There was no hurt in Pearl's eyes. Just accusation. Her gaze was intense, her fingers laced together neatly behind her back. _Blue._

"I asked you a question, Amethyst," She growled, making said gem realize she hadn't responded. 

"I... I have no idea what you're talking about," Amethyst answered honestly, shrugging her shoulders. 

There was a sharp intake of breath from the gem in front of her, and she rolled her eyes. Pearl actually rolled her eyes. What the fuck?

"Garnet told me everything, Amethyst," She scoffed, taking a few steps closer, reaching a hand up to pinch the bridge of her nose.

More emotions flashed through her, and she felt their icy cold tendrils engulf her. She stared wide-eyed at the taller gem, her vision becoming unfocused. Betrayal, fear, relief.

"Do you think I appreciated being lied to, Amethyst?" Pearl spat before the younger gem could regain composure. "After everything?"

She was getting closer, uncomfortably so, and Amethyst took a few steps back. She didn't know what to say, stumbling over a reason for her actions. She knew them well, but forming thoughts into words proved difficult with the piercing blue that gazed upon her.

"Answer me!" Pearl barked, her voice booming in the wide open living room. 

"I..." Amethyst's throat was dry. "I didn't know what to do, I-I was scared. I'm sorry."

Pearl, to her surprise, laughed, the sound of it filling the room. It didn't have it's usual boisterous nature, rather it was dark it a way. Like old paint peeling off a beautiful building. Like a smile with too many teeth.

"D-did you-" Pearl heaved with her snickers, holding her stomach. She stopped herself after a moment, her movements languid and fluid. "Did you really think that I would ever return your affections?"

What?

"I..." Amethyst began, trailing off. She took another step backwards. Pearl took three more forwards.

"When Garnet told me of your delusions, I really thought: 'She can't be serious.' But, she assured me it was all true. Still, I didn't truly believe her. But now? I can see it in your expression. I can read you like an open book, Amethyst. You really let yourself fall for _me?_ And you expected me to feel the same?"

Amethyst's breathing picked up, and her head raced with confusion at what was happening. _This isn't right. What was going on?_

"Heh... Amethyst, you do realize that the only being I will ever love is the Diamond I served, right?"

The words stung, more then she could bear, and tears brimmed at her eyes. Pearl deserved so much more than that. Even if she would never feel that way about Amethyst, even if it was with someone else, she deserved to be happy with someone. Or at least not pine after a gem so far out of her grasp.

"Oh Rose," Pearl sighed, somewhat dreamily. "I should have put my foot down that day, but I couldn't have ever argued with _her._"

Amethyst's eyebrows knitted together.

"What are you talking about?" She asked.

"Why, the day we took you from the Kindergarten of course!" Pearl responded in kind, a strange excitement in her eyes. "As you know, Rose was fond of all life, to a fault. You see, when we discovered you, a runt, alone in the Kindergarten, I _insisted_ we dissipate you. Having your gem bubbled safe away in the temple. After all, we had no use for you. A runt can't accomplish much of anything on it's own, and the war had been over for five hundred years at that point. It would have been a risk of security either way. Rose was determined, however, so I held back. She had such love for every creature, even when they weren't worth saving."

Pearl smiled, and a chill ran down Amethyst's spine. She felt sick as she mulled over what the older gem just told her. She started to continuously shuffle backwards, inch by inch, wanting to run away but finding herself incapable of doing so.

"When Rose died, I decided to continue to abide by her wishes. I gave you a chance, perhaps you would prove me wrong," Pearl paused to chuckle. "I was sorely mistaken."

Pearl's pace matched Amethyst's, and the younger gem found herself drenched in a wicked fear, fight or flight responses kicking in. There was just something about the other gem's mannerisms right now that reeked with something indescribably off.

"The only problem is," Pearl began, glancing to the side. "I can't have the others find your gem bubbled somewhere, and have you run and tell them what I did. No matter how well I hide it, someone eventually will find it, perhaps thousands of years later. If that happens, I will have to answer for my deeds. So I need to stage it as an accident. I'll have to go a step forward."

She was uncomfortably close. 

"P-Pearl," Amethyst mumbled, voicing her concerns aloud. "You're scaring me."

The gem before her grinned, but her eyes remained cold, empty.

"Am I?"

There was a flash of light, a bright and elegant spear appearing in the midst of them. It glowed dangerously, reflecting brilliantly through the shadows that surrounded them. Amethyst stumbled backwards, tripping over a table leg that she swore wasn't there a second ago. She scrambled up onto her elbows, eyes straining in the newfound darkness she had just tumbled into. She peered around, alone.

Pearl suddenly lurched forward from the dark, and Amethyst barely dodged in time, a sharp blade puncturing the wood right beside her chest. 

_She was aiming for her gem._

Amethyst shook violently, feeling incredibly sick to her stomach, both from an abrupt amount of adrenaline, and from the fact that she was being so closely hunted by someone she had known for years, someone she cared intensely about. 

Something about the time in the air didn't make sense. It felt like everything was being process in slow motion, and yet way too fast. Like pressing fast-forward on a tape cassette and the film getting jammed. It skipped and buzzed and burst from it's seams. 

This wasn't right, this shouldn't be happening.

_But it still felt correct in a way. This was her proper end, wasn't it? A defective gem coming to an effective halt, for the good of the empire. She shouldn't have existed in the first place._

Despite the fact that the terrible part of herself rationalized it, Amethyst couldn't accept it. It pierced her more than any spear could.

She dodged another strike, scrabbling to her feet and making a mad dash to where she thought the front door could be. The light on the ceiling swung wildly above her, shining beams on random parts of the room. She watched Pearl effortlessly jump in and out of the illumination, graceful even in such an intense situation. She followed Amethyst with a chilling amount of dedication.

Her chest burned, as if she couldn't get enough air, despite the fact that she didn't need to breathe at all. Her hands scraped desperately at the wall, trying to find a window, a door, _anything_ to save her. All she found was wood that splintered off from her frantic clawing.

All the while Pearl laughed maniacally, taunting her. 

"Where are you going Amethyst?"

Jab. Amethyst slid to a stop and changed her direction. 

"You can't run from me."

She dropped quickly, slipping underneath the spear in a deadly game of limbo. 

"You're only delaying the inevitable."

In a last-ditch attempt, Amethyst launched herself into a spin-dash, aiming ahead to the wall, crashing into it full force. By all laws of physics the wall should have crumbled from the force of it, but it held steady, and Amethyst fumbled to the ground, pain erupting from the impact.

She whipped around, feeling Pearl's presence behind her, pushing back until her shoulders were completely against the wall, to the point where it hurt, digging into her skin. There was no where to go. This was game over. The older gem chuckled darkly, inching closer, aiming her weapon expertly. 

"Wh-why?" Amethyst choked, her voice cracking. Tears fell freely now. "Why a-are you d-doing this? P-please!"

Pearl guffawed, slapping a hand over her eyes, trying to calm down after a moment.

"Amethyst," She sing-songed, looking at the short gem once more.

No where to go. No where to run.

"Amethyst." 

She heaved, breathing erratically, her vision blurring.

_"Amethyst!"_

She drew back, and-

Her fist collided with soft flesh, and she heard a yelp and a groan that sounded too deep and guttural. 

She blinked.

Her surroundings had changed, pillows and blankets making up the majority of her vision, but that did nothing to assuage her fear. 

"I'm sorry!" She cried, hugging her knees to her chest so tightly that it stung. "P-please d-don't hurt m-me I'm sorry I'm s-sorry p-please-"

"Amethyst- Amethyst It's okay, everything is alright," Spoke a surprisingly soft and comforting voice. She clutched onto herself with even more force.

"I-I didn't m-mean to, I c-can get o-over it I d-didn't _mean_ to," She was blubbering at this point, completely breaking down.

"You're going to poof yourself if you keep doing that Amethyst!" The voice said, and she felt warm hands clutching at her wrists to pull her arms out of their vice-like grip. 

She blinked again. 

Nothing was making sense. She felt her form ripple with energy, threatening to collapse. To dissipate entirely.

"You aren't there anymore, Amethyst, it was a dream. Please, look at me."

The coherent part of her head decided to listen to this voice, so she peered over her knees to meet a busted lip, a bloody nose, and worried eyes.

"St-Steven?"

"Yeah, Am, it's me. You're in my room, and you're safe. No one's gonna hurt you," He mumbled quietly, his expression stern in a way, as if he were trying to convince her. It worked.

She felt herself stop trembling, and began to calm down.

"What on Earth is going on up there?? Are you two alright?"

Amethyst froze, hyper-focusing on that voice. Somewhere deep inside her she knew that what just happened was a dream, but she still felt an intense, ice-cold fear envelope her. The stairs creaked with the sound of approaching footsteps. 

"Amethyst? What's wrong?"

The horrible thing was, she sounded so sincere. So worried. 

Steven was waving his hands, trying to get her to leave, but it was too late. Amethyst felt herself breaking, not knowing how to react. She couldn't see.

"Steven! What happened to your face??" 

Thoughts were colliding together like Scrabble pieces, forming chaotic jumbles of little unidentifiable blurbs of information. All she could process was wanting the gem she knew was there to leave, leave her alone, leave her _alone._

"Get _OUT!!_" She screamed suddenly, taking both of the others aback. 

"Amethyst, what are you-"

_"I SAID GET **OUT!!!**"_

The room shook with the force of her demands, things falling off shelves and causing Steven to cover his ears. Her form glitched tremendously, so much so that she nearly felt herself retreat into her gem. 

It was quiet when the world stopped shaking. Too quiet. Like pressing pause.

"I'm sorry," Came the small mumble. "I'll leave."

Pearl sounded completely defeated.

After a few seconds, Amethyst started sobbing uncontrollably, hands clawing at her face.

Steven didn't say anything, and he seemed unsure of himself. Catching her gaze, he opened up his arms wide, offering a hug. 

She didn't leave any time for him to change his mind, launching herself into her friend's arms. Steven hugged her firmly, and Amethyst heard the familiar sound of his protective bubble forming around them. 

It took a long time for her to stop crying, and Steven held her all the while, offering silent companionship and support while she came down from the high of another panic attack. This one was different from the one last night. She wondered if that was normal.

Amethyst concentrated on the steady breathing of her companion, it providing some form of stability as it was a constant, unchanging beat. It helped her realize how much time was going by, and she left the unsteady passage of seconds she couldn't understand. 

When she finally pulled away, she was able to gather three things: One, the fort they had built last night had collapsed. Two, the bubble had fallen away at some point. Three, Steven's face was really messed up. 

She focused on the latter point, studying his features with concern. His lip was swollen and split, dried blood decorating the underneath of a slightly crooked nose. She gently reached towards him, fingers grazing his cheekbone. 

Her knuckles hurt. 

"Did I-" She blanched, realization flowing down in-between her shoulder blades and into her stomach. She recoiled, her hand shaking as it clasped against her chest, bunching up the fabric of her shirt. "Did I _punch_ you??"

Steven frowned, looking like he only now remembered the current state of his face. 

"Don't worry about it," He said, his voice hoarse. With a flick of his wrist, he kissed his own hand, swiping it over his injuries easily. They were gone in an instant, as if they had never occurred in the first place. "Healing powers, remember?"

It didn't reassure Amethyst, who sat in turmoil over what she had done. 

"I... I hurt you," She murmured. "I broke your nose!"

"Nothing a little spit can't fix," Steven shrugged, giving a small smile. 

"That isn't the point!" Amethyst barked, shaking slightly. "I punched you in the face like an asshole! I can't believe- I'm such a- I'm so sorry, Steven."

Said gem didn't react to the curse, surprisingly, and clapped a hand on her shoulder. 

"Hey, it's fine, really. Sure, it hurt, but I'm okay. I've been punched in the face before, and it probably won't be the last time, either. It was an accident," He sighed. "You were just reacting to your nightmare."

Amethyst felt cold. 

"H-how much of that did you see?" She questioned carefully, eyebrows furrowing. 

"Well," Steven glanced away, seeming to think. "I was asleep when I felt the fort fall over. So I woke up and, after getting the blankets off of me, I noticed that you were moving and talking in your sleep, and I didn't really think much of it. But once I got the blankets off of you and could see your dream, I knew it was bad. You were getting really worked up, and you started getting louder and louder. When I looked at your dream and saw Pearl... attacking you... I decided that enough was enough and tried to wake you up. You were _screaming,_ Amethyst. It took forever, and that's when you clocked me pretty good. I should have woken you up before that, I'm sorry."

"Dude, you got nothin' to apologize for, so don't," Amethyst mumbled. "So that's all you saw?"

"Pretty much," Steven confirmed. "Just a lot of horrible things and then the attack."

Amethyst visibly relaxed. If he had seen any earlier into the dream, he would have made some sort of comment about "returning your feelings" and what the hell that meant.

"Amethyst," Steven started tilting his head to catch her gaze once more. "You know Pearl would never say any of that about you, right?"

She frowned, looking down. She wasn't so sure.

"Am," He leaned over awkwardly to meet her eyes. "You know that she cares about you and wouldn't _ever_ try to do that, right?"

"Steven," Amethyst grumbled through her teeth. Her friend's eyes widened. 

"What happened between you two?" He asked, sounding bewildered. "I knew it was something bad, but I-"

"Could you just drop it?" Amethyst interrupted, crossing her arms. Steven's concern turned into somewhat of a glare.

"No. Garnet told me something was wrong and I-"

"Well maybe Garnet should mind her fucking business," Amethyst growled, shame overcoming her. "At least she had the sense to not pester me about it!"

Steven fell silent, shock evident in his expression. 

"Leave it alone, Universe," She concluded. It wasn't often that she used his last name, and it made her feel like a jerk, but she couldn't talk about this. Not yet, not now, maybe not ever. She was done with wearing her heart on her sleeve. 

"Okay..." Steven submitted, softening. "Sorry."

Guilt gnawed at her fingertips. He just helped her out of two panic attacks, and here she was making an ass of herself.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, and I shouldn't have cursed," She muttered. "I just... can't."

"I get it. I shouldn't have pushed you," Steven sighed. "But you know I'm here for you, if you need to talk about this, and I really, _really_ think you should. Even if it's not me. You should talk about this with someone, get it off your chest."

Amethyst didn't reply, looking at the ground. 

"And... You need to apologize to Pearl for blowing up at her like that. She didn't know, she was just trying to make sure you were okay."

God, she was such a piece of shit.

"Yeah... I know," She whispered, barely audible.

"Do you want me to stay? Should I make breakfast?"

She shrugged, feeling extremely drained. 

"I don't care what you do. I'm going back to sleep," She decided, scooting back to lie down. 

"You sure?" He asked.

"Yeah..." She paused. "If... If I start dreamin' again, good or bad, wake me up, will ya?" 

He nodded. 

"Of course."

"G'night, Steven."

"Goodnight."

Despite how exhausted she was, it took a while for her to drift back off.

✩★✩★✩★✩

Her eyes felt heavy as they opened slowly, looking at the ceiling above her. According to the light that filtered in through the window, it was late, the sun had nearly dipped below the horizon, and the sky was painted red, pink, and gold. She had managed to pass out for the majority of the day. It wasn't anything very surprising for her, her current sleeping record spanned across several days, but it still jarred her slightly. 

Standing, she eyed the stairway that led to Steven's room, but found nobody. Luckily, she was alone. Her joints groaned at the notion of moving, and she still felt extremely drained from that morning. 

Food. Food will solve everything.

Stumbling over to the stairs, and leaning on the rail considerably, Amethyst hobbled down, peering out into the living room as soon as it came into view.

Steven was in the kitchen, stirring a pot of something that smelled delicious. Garnet stood next to him, chatting about something apparently funny, as they both chuckled slightly. However, her eyes focused intently on a different subject. 

There Pearl was, sitting contently at the dining table, staring off at nowhere particular, seemingly deep in thought. Thin fingers laced together to prop her head up on the table. Amethyst couldn't identify the emotion from her face, it changing expression every few seconds, as if her thoughts were so strong they caused such involuntary reactions.

Amethyst stared at her, and couldn't help but feel an intense need to cry. She sniffled, biting the inside of her cheek to keep any tears from escaping. This was all her fault. She was overreacting, and Pearl had every right to hate her. Even with this in mind, Amethyst still felt pain when she saw Pearl through the rails of the stairs. The irrational fear that accompanied her that morning was gone, replaced with sorrow. 

What a horrible dream. She shuddered the reminder away. 

Well, now was time to be the bigger person she always wanted to be. Sucking up her own feelings, she made her way down the stairs quietly, not wanting to catch the attention of Garnet or Steven in the kitchen. She needed to apologize, and mend things over with Pearl. She didn't want to admit everything, it hurt too much, but she would at least say that she was upset and needed some time. _Yeah, that's what she would do._

Pearl's gaze rose, surprised eyes meeting the younger gem at the bottom of the stairs. Amethyst tried to take another step, but found herself frozen.

She shook it off. Her feelings didn't matter right now. She needed to do this.

She forced herself to walk over and sit down across from the other gem at the table, who watched her movements intently. Amethyst gulped, her fingers twisting together, tapping against her knuckles under the tabletop. 

"Hey..." She murmured, clearing her throat. She glanced at the gem opposite her. "I..."

God, this was so hard, she just wanted things to go back to normal. Why did she have to ruin everything?

"I wanted to say sorry," She finally managed to say. "For... This morning. I had a nightmare, and I shouldn't have projected that on you." 

"It's quite alright, Amethyst."

Pearl's voice sounded normal, as if the last couple of days hadn't happened. She appeared very nonchalant, nodding to herself before turning to the kitchen to watch Steven cook.

Amethyst felt a bit confused. That was a little too quick for her liking, but when she opened her mouth to continue, Pearl squirmed. Sensing that she didn't want to talk anymore, Amethyst shut her mouth. It was strangely cold to dismiss her like that, and Amethyst felt frustration vibrate in her chest. _She did it again._ This was so stupid. How was she supposed to do the right thing if she didn't even get the opportunity? She was just about to say something about it, but Steven and Garnet appeared at the table, holding bowls of food.

"Hey guys, tried a new recipe!" Steven greeted enthusiastically, walking around Amethyst to get to the other side of the table. He paused for a very brief moment to give her a smile and a squeeze on the shoulder. It helped, but it didn't distract her from the fact that Pearl was being aggravating. Garnet placed a bowl in front of Amethyst, who peered down at floating veggies.

"What is it?" She asked, picking up a spoon to poke at a zucchini slice.

"It's a type of vegetarian soup, called minestrone," Steven replied, sitting down.

"Vegetarian, huh?" Amethyst questioned, leaning her head on her free hand. Normally it wouldn't matter what food was whatever, and it would have already been in her stomach, but she didn't have much of an appetite.

"Well, yeah. I thought I'd give it a try to see if it's any good," He smiled warmly, blowing on a hot spoonful of soup.

"It's pretty good Steven," Garnet praised, giving a thumbs up. 

"I didn't try it, but I think it smells wonderful," Pearl complimented. 

"Great job."

Steven beamed, taking a bite himself.

"I like it," He agreed. "Thank you guys."

Amethyst sighed. She wanted to try it to make Steven happy, but felt queasy when she thought about eating something. She hadn't thought this through. Maybe food didn't solve everything. She could feel Steven's concern, palpable from beside her, but she was pointedly focused on Pearl, who seemed so unfazed. 

Why would she care? She said so herself, she doesn't like her in that way. That's it, end of discussion.

But she still felt like she wasn't being listened to, like she was being pointedly ignored. She tried to catch Pearl's gaze a few times, but each time their eyes met, the older gem quickly looked away.

The others at the table continued the conversation, including Pearl. They discussed Little Homeworld and how it was nearly complete, and how they would need to go to work soon, planning on turning part of the place into a school, teaching newly freed gems about humanity. Amethyst pretended to eat her food.

She felt selfish for being like this. Pearl didn't have to give her the time of day. It didn't matter if her feelings were hurt, it didn't matter, it didn't matter. 

The grip on her spoon tightened. 

She didn't understand why she couldn't get over herself. One moment she wanted to give Pearl a piece of her mind, and they next she completely blamed herself. She didn't know what was right or wrong. She just felt shame and anguish.

"So, Amethyst, what do you think you would teach when Little Homeworld is complete?"

Pearl's voice cut through her mind. Why was she talking to her _now?_ How could she not notice that she was upset? Why was she acting like everything was normal? Was this all in her head? Or was she doing this on purpose? She shook furiously.

"Oh, so _now_ you care?" She finally snapped, glaring across the table.

The room fell silent, Pearl looking surprised and the other two shifting uncomfortably.

"What? Of course I care, Amethyst," Pearl said, frowning.

"Yeah? 'Cause it sure don't feel like it!" Amethyst barked, crossing her arms.

"Amethyst," Steven hissed, trying to get her attention. 

"I beg your pardon?" Pearl asked, her brows furrowing.

"You've been ignoring me for the past half-hour!" Amethyst chided, dropping her spoon. It clambered loudly against the porcelain bowl.

A look of guilt flashed on Pearl's face, but only for a moment, quickly morphing into one of frustration. 

"I just asked you a question, Amethyst. What are you going on about?" She argued, eyes narrowing. 

"Oh don't give me that _bull_ Pearl!!!" Amethyst exploded, her hands gripping the edge of the table, her knuckles turning white. 

"Well, perhaps I am not inclined to being screamed at for trying to help," Pearl bit back, taking the gem opposite her by surprise. 

"Buh- Wha- Are you kidding me?? I already apologized, Pearl, and I feel like a major douche bag for doing that!!" Amethyst huffed. "I didn't even know what I was doing! That isn't any excuse, but why are you bringing that up again when you already said you forgave me??"

"Because _you_ are blowing up at me _again!!_" Pearl's voice raised an octave, and her mannerism of using her hands to talk became more noticeable and frantic. "You can't take your issues out on those who have nothing to do with the situation!"

"You have _everything_ to do with the situation!!"

"_What???_"

"All you ever do is act like you're the bigger, better gem and I am so _sick_ of not getting to speak my mind!! Of you not listening to how _I_ feel!"

There was a strange pause, where a flurry of emotions flew across her opponent's face. 

"I just... want everything to go back to normal..." Amethyst grew quiet, leaning back in her chair, staring at the untouched soup in front of her.

There was an abrupt slam on the table, and she looked up to see a very pissed off Pearl in front of her. She now stood, leaning dangerously over the table with a deep scowl on her face. She then grinned in an angry, sarcastic manner.

"I am so _sorry_ Amethyst! I had no idea that you've found such a distaste for me!"

The shorter gem shrank in her seat, feeling both a strong sense of fear and bewilderment. Distaste?

"Tell me, Amethyst, which part of the dream disgusted you the most? It is incredible that you would pit that against me! You speak of wanting to air your feelings to the world, and yet _you_ cannot accept mine and move on!"

_What??_

"What are you talking about???"

"As if you don't know! You should learn to control your outbursts and speak to me with decency!!"

"Oh ho ho _YOU_ ARE ONE TO TALK-"

"_That is **enough!**_" Garnet erupted, promptly standing, her arms extending as if to hold the both of them back. 

Pearl seemed to snap out of her fury, her expression softening slightly, glancing between the lot of them.

Including one which couldn't handle the situation at all.

Amethyst finally stood herself, chair scraping against the floor, bowl clattering against the table from the sudden movement. Her hands balled into fists, nails digging into her palms. 

"Whatever," She grumbled, stepping away hastily. "I wasn't hungry anyways."

She stormed towards the temple door, ignoring Steven calling her name, ignoring Garnet telling him to back down, ignoring the mumbling coming from Pearl. She tuned out the world around her as she walked into her own room, the door closing behind her. 

Piles of garbage greeted her.

She would have laughed if she wasn't in such a piss-poor mood. Here she was, right back to where she started, in her room alone. All of her progress and learning and accepting had amounted to nothing in the end. She should have given up when she had the chance. 

She slumped against the door of her room, tears and snot quickly beginning to pour from her face. She knew she had to move on. It wasn't supposed to go down like that. She was supposed to get a simple and polite rejection from Pearl. She already had, hadn't she?

But no, that wasn't what happened. For the billionth time, she was cut off, and someone that was supposed to be her friend assumed what her thoughts, her feelings were. She never got the satisfaction of being rejected. Pearl had never let her get it off her chest in the first place.

She didn't want to be like this. She wanted to be strong, capable, a perfect soldier. Someone who could endure this and move on with a smile on their face. Someone who would just brush it off. She didn't want to have nightmares about being unwanted, she didn't want to be unwanted. She was such a burden. No wonder Pearl hated her. 

She pushed off the door and screamed, summoning her whip with a practiced ease. She swung it with as much strength as she could muster, targeting the nearest trash heap, cutting it clear in half. It crumbled immediately, crashing to the ground with great force, rumbling with great volume. She tossed the whip aside, it disappearing into thin air. She clutched at her shirt, her face, her hair, and fell backwards against her door once more as the dust settled.

_"Pierogi!"_

_"Heheh, I told you that I'm a pearl, didn't I?"_

_"You did, but I like making up new names! On our last mission, a human gave me this food called 'Pierogi', and it was really good!"_

_"Hmmm... Well, I don't mind. It is a common occurrence among amethyst's to give each other nicknames, since they often have to work in large groups."_

_"Hows about you give me a nickname?"_

_"Me? I haven't a clue on what to call you!"_

_"Aw c'mon! I bet it'll be great!"_

_"..."_

_"..."_

_"Now that I think about it, did you know that 'Amethyst' sounds like 'love' in many human languages?"_

_"Love? What does that mean?"_

_"Oh! It's a beautiful feeling. It can mean a lot of different things. The feeling you have for a friend, or for family. Or it can mean something much more personal, like the feeling for lifelong companion, or even a romantic partner. Ruby and Sapphire love each other deeply, for example."_

_"Ewww... Gross! They're always making those weird faces at each other."_

_"You may think it's gross, however, it's something powerful. It brings us together."_

_"Eh... Okay. What are the words, anyway?"_

_"The most prominent one I can think of is French. 'Mon amour.'"_

_"Hahaha! That doesn't sound anything like my name!"_

_"Haha... Perhaps not. It was all I could think of."_

_"It's okay, I'll just come up with more nicknames for you to make up for it!"_

_"That sounds perfect, Amethyst."_

Perfect. Like dragons and water slides and the way their fingers laced together. Like donuts and her voice and falling asleep watching a movie. Like paintings and making breakfast and the way the sunset reflected in her eyes. Like flowers and pristine handwriting and singing drunk karaoke. Like excitement and comfort from friends and being cuddled so warmly. 

She didn't know who to blame. She didn't know where to start. This was far from perfect.

Things didn't get better. The next few days only provided for more screaming matches and frustration. They were looking each other in the eyes and yelling their sides, yet there was a sort of disconnect. She didn't even know if they were talking about the same thing anymore.

She didn't know what to think anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!!! And someone needs to give Amethyst some therapy, just like Steven (he really ought to be following his own advice).
> 
> Let me preface this with apologizing for these last two months. It's not so much of this fic's hiatus bothering me. It's more of me being annoyed with myself for saying I didn't need a break when I really did need one. It's okay to need some time. I mean, for fucks sake every other creator in the universe said they were taking a hot minute for most of December and the beginning of January. I should have done the same. Instead, I kept making false promises when I was exhausted. So, at some point, I stopped checking this site to allow myself to actually attempt a break. Before that, I kept getting on to stare at the screen, being completely incapable of writing. I waited until when it felt right to start writing again. I didn't want to rush this. I wrote most of this chapter today and yesterday, and it felt so great to be writing again. Allowing myself the time to recharge refueled them creative juices. So, I'd like to happily announce that we are back on schedule! That means Wednesday updates and the occasional Saturday special! And if I need another break, I'm going to own up to it. That's a promise. 
> 
> One thing I want to address is the differences between this fic and Steven Universe: Future. I started writing this right after the movie released, so obviously there are going to be some glaring differences. I am going to do everything in my power to use natural progression to change things in this fic to canon ideals. For example, you may have noticed that Steven tried out a vegetarian meal this chapter. This will progress to him actually being vegetarian in the show, since it takes place about a year after the movie. Of course, I can't make everything fit, but I would like to be as close as possible. 
> 
> At the end, all the examples of 'perfect' are references to random parts of the fic so far.
> 
> Hint hint about the argument! Think about both of their perspectives carefully, because they aren't talking about the same thing at some points.
> 
> Added a tiny past pearlmethyst blurb to give y'all strength.
> 
> The next chapter won't be nearly this angry. The storm is almost over.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your support! You guys make writing even more enjoyable. I appreciate your patience. 
> 
> See you in a bit :)


	13. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After realizing that she needs it, Amethyst goes looking for advice. Afterwards, she finds something else.

Amethyst ate her pizza slowly, without nearly as much enthusiasm as she would normally have. She was only eating it to get Steven off her back in the first place.

Pearl and her had been fighting over the past few days. Ever since that explosion of a morning and disaster of a dinner, every time they saw each other (which was often, they lived in the same house) would result in an argument. It reminded her of when Steven was younger, how they would bicker at each other nonstop. It was similar to that, but now it seemed even more heated than before. For then, their arguments were fueled by an outrage at someone else. Now? They really were angry at each other, but Amethyst had a feeling they weren't talking about the same things. She didn't even know if they were speaking the same language anymore.

Her eyes flicked up lazily to see Pearl sit down across from her at the dinner table. Even with the fights, they had always made a point of showing up for dinner, though they always resulted in yelling. 

Pearl, at seeing Amethyst, glared in her direction.

So, they're starting this early, huh?

"What are _you_ lookin' at?" Amethyst grumbled, taking another bite of pizza.

"Oh, nothing!" Pearl sing-songed back in a sarcastic manner. There were a few more moments of silence before she spoke again. "Do you _have_ to eat with your mouth open?"

"What... Like this?" Amethyst asked, shoving the entire rest of the pizza slice in her mouth just to chew it in the grossest manner she could manage, crumbs peppering out from between her lips.

"Yes I mean _exactly_ like that Amethyst!" Pearl growled, her voice raising an octave. "That is so disgusting!!"

"Good to know!" Amethyst swallowed. "I thought we were done with the whole, 'picking on every little thing Amethyst does' thing!"

"And I thought I was done being ordered around, but I suppose we're both disappointed!"

"Wha- _You're_ the one who's bossy!!!"

All of a sudden there was a 'thwap' sound from in-between them, and they both focused for long enough to notice that Steven had opened the pizza box on the table. He slapped a couple slices onto his paper plate, not looking up, and closed the box. He shoved his free hand into his pocket, carrying his paper plate to the stairs. He paused for moment, shuffling a bit. Finally, he looked at the two still at the table, who at this point were staring at him, pondering his strange behavior.

"I'm going to eat in my room today," He mumbled, looking down, then back at the table, and then back at the stairs once more, sighing. He climbed the steps, not saying anything else.

It was only then that Amethyst processed what just happened.

Steven was upset.

That much was easy to tell, from the small scowl on his face and the lack of eye contact. And then, he would always eat dinner downstairs, at the table, as was tradition. If he wasn't eating at the table, than they were all together doing something, the four of them. Maybe they were going out to eat, or at someone's else's house, or simply eating upstairs watching TV. But never, not once, did Steven take his food and then go upstairs to eat dinner alone.

Dinner...

Amethyst stared at her half eaten pizza. They _never_ ate pizza for dinner anymore. Maybe once in a blue moon, for a special occasion like a birthday or a party or even a movie marathon. But those times were few and far in-between. Certainly not today. Maybe they would have pizza for lunch, but never for dinner, because Steven was always whipping up some new recipe and cooking for himself. 

The pizza meant he didn't cook tonight. Which meant that there was a reason. 

Guilt immediately burst forth in her gut, curling around her insides. The pizza sat like a brick in her stomach. 

Her and Pearl had been arguing non-stop for days. In their rage, they didn't really take notice of anything around them. The arguments only really ceased when one of them got fed up enough to walk away. What kind of effect was that having on Steven? And Garnet wasn't even there!

She was so blindly angry that she managed to take it out on Steven, who had been nothing but supportive of her.

And he had given up. 

Amethyst stood abruptly, the same melody of the chair scraping against the floor ringing in the air. That same song had been playing over and over again every night. What was _wrong_ with her? This was toxic. Tears stung her eyes. She sucked a breath in through her teeth. Steven didn't deserve this. If she was going to be a mess, she wasn't going to have him deal with it.

She turned on her heels, making her way towards the front door, stomping, marching.

"Wh-where are you going?" Pearl asked. The usual accusation and sneer wasn't present in her tone. Maybe she was thinking the same things as her.

"Out!" Amethyst snapped back. "I'm getting some air. I'm sick of being a problem for everyone else!"

"Amethyst!"

But she was already out the door, slamming it behind her and bustling down the stairs. 

She didn't know where she was going either. 

✩★✩★✩★✩

Amethyst had been wandering around for a while, with no destination in mind. Although she tried not to think about it, her mind kept drifting off to Pearl.

She passed by places that held such happy memories for her. Like the time they went to the Big Donut and wrote their names in the foggy glass of the refrigerator. Or when they had gone to Funland Arcade and won that shooting game fused as Opal. Then there was the Buddwick Public Library, where one time years ago her, Pearl, and Garnet had gone to return a book that was extremely overdue. Pearl had been so nervous, and Amethyst had to keep assuring her that she wasn't going to be arrested. Next came U-Stor, the storage center. She had basically begged Pearl and Garnet to help her clean up Greg's old storage unit, as a way of saying sorry to him, and Pearl had smiled in the way she always did and said that she would love to. The movie theater made her remember about the one time Pearl and her agreed to sneak out to see a movie the both of them were interested in. It was an action-packed thriller about a league of ballerinas who gracefully made their way to the top, all while defeating bad guys and poking fun at the other ballet teams. It was perfect for the both of them, and Pearl had excitedly agreed to seeing the movie after Amethyst had seen the trailer in a TV commercial. She paused at the pier for a while, staring at the water, remembering sitting there with the others, watching as Pearl casually dangled her legs over the dock's edge. She walked past Funland, remembered making fun of Pearl for bringing a teapot to an amusement park. Every new place she passed seemed to bring back a new memory, and she felt even worse after each one.

She didn't know how long it had been, but she watched the sun start to approach the horizon. Another day. Another stupid sunset. 

The newest location appeared before her, and she stared at the car wash intently as she passed, metal 'It's a Wash' sign glinting in the light. She noticed the little van parked in the front, and thought for a moment. 

Maybe...?

No. She didn't want to take out her issues on anyone else. _Especially_ considering just how many times she had done it to him. 

She continued walking, a bit faster, trying to shake the nagging feeling in her head.

But...

She stopped again.

Wasn't this the best choice she had? If she didn't get this off her chest, she didn't know if she would ever be able to figure it out herself. She knew she needed advice, but every other person or gem she knew was too close to the situation already. What she needed was a fresh perspective. 

And she had to admit, when it came to relationships, Greg probably knew what he was talking about.

She sighed, inwardly cursing herself, pleading that this wouldn't backfire on her. She doubled back, moving towards the van parked on hot pavement. 

Biting her lip, she raised a fist and knocked on the back doors. 

No answer.

She knocked again. 

Amethyst rolled her eyes, and knowing that it wouldn't be that easy, took a few steps back. Eyeing her target, she took off in a sprint, bracing for impact. 

She collided with the back of the van, bouncing off of it and hitting the ground beside it with a thud, landing on her back. The car alarm immediately began blaring. She glanced up at the sky, now pink with the end of the day.

"Who's there??" Came a rather unintimidating voice, although it was trying very hard to be intimidating. The van doors burst open. "I've got a panini maker and I am _not_ afraid to use it!"

"Greg. Chill," She said as she sat up, leaning against her arms that stretched out behind her. "It's me."

Greg squinted at her, reaching into his pocket and fumbling around a bit before the car alarm stopped. 

"Amethyst? What are you doing here?" He questioned, reaching out to offer Amethyst a hand. She took it and pulled herself to her feet, brushing pebbles off her shoulders. A few scrapes from the fall, but nothing she couldn't deal with. 

"What's with everyone in Beach City greeting visitors like they're murderers?" She asked, ignoring his question. "Like, I would get it if this was a new thing because you guys are weary about all the new gems moving into Little Homeworld, but you've _always_ been answering the door with a random kitchen appliance. Even when the population was, like, ten people."

"It was actually closer to twenty-four," Greg shrugged. "I have no idea. Just instinct I guess. You want a panini?" 

Even though she hadn't had the appetite for a few days, the new prospect of resolving her current dilemma made it come back with a vengeance. 

"Greg, my man, I would fucking _love_ a panini," She grinned, deflecting as usual. Greg was unperturbed by the curse, as he used to do so himself when he was younger and didn't have to worry about being a good influence on his kid. 

"As long as you don't eat the entire machine again..." He mumbled, shuffling back into his van to plug in the panini press. 

"No promises."

Greg turned on his car, without the engine running, so that power would flow into the machine. He spent the next few minutes in silence, fishing out ingredients from random locations in his van, including a small cooler that held ham and cheese. Amethyst took the liberty of finding an old CD of a laid-back indie rock band and inserting it into the van to play. It wasn't what she would normally listen to, but it felt right for the moment. It played softly in the background.

The panini press hissed as Greg forced it to close around two sandwiches. No more than thirty seconds later, a pleasant aroma filled the air. They weren't the fanciest paninis in the world, but she couldn't ask for more. They only took a couple minutes to cook. 

The two of them sat right at the edge of the van, looking out from it's open doors, mouths full of a classic artificial ham and cheese flavor. 

"So," Greg started, swallowing a bite of food. "What's up?"

"Hmm?" Amethyst asked, chewing slowly. 

"I know you didn't just _decide_ to visit all of a sudden. So, what's on your mind?" 

Bingo. Greg wasn't an idiot, Amethyst knew that. She swallowed.

"I..." She stopped, wondering how to ask for advice. 

"You don't have to talk if you don't feel like it," Greg quickly said, scratching the back of his head. "I just figured you wanted to."

Amethyst sighed. She really did. Here goes nothing.

"Greg... Uh... If you want me to shut up please just tell me... But uh..." Amethyst cringed slightly at herself. Greg waited patiently, reassurance etched into his expression.

She continued.

"How did you and Rose..." She made a series of erratic hand movements. "You know..."

Confusion and surprise formed its way on Greg's face, and he shook his head.

"Like... How did you two end up together?" She finally managed to ask, feeling embarrassed. Talking about this with Greg was weird. But, it was a necessary sacrifice. 

"Oh!" Greg piped, realizing what she was trying to ask. "Uh well... We met when she came to my concert-"

"No no," Amethyst interrupted. "I already know about all that. I'm talking about, like, how did you go from being friends to..." 

She blushed, grimacing. 

"To being involved?" Greg suggested.

"Yes!" Amethyst said with a little too much enthusiasm. She coughed and looked away. 

"Hmm," Greg hummed, as if this was a totally normal conversation. "Well, it took a while, if I'm being completely honest. A lot longer than it may have looked. You see- relationships are a whole lot more complicated than people make it out to be. It's not just a matter of loving someone, but it takes work and sacrifices, like anything else in the world does. There's more layers to it, sometimes the people in the relationship are so connected to each other they become a necessary presence in each other's lives. And sometimes people are in relationships _out_ of necessity, almost like a transaction. For me and Rose though, I gave up everything I had ever worked for, for her. Off of a hunch, if anything. I liked her from the first moment I saw her at that first concert."

Amethyst listened to his words carefully, mulling them over in her head. She took another bite of her panini. 

"When I went back for her, we basically both told each other how we felt, but we still tiptoed around each other for a while. We knew we liked each other, but it took a bit, I'd say about a month, before we actually started treating what we had as 'more than friends.' But even then, I wouldn't call that the start of our relationship either. Honestly you'd probably know as well as I do when it happened, you were there. Do you remember that night I tried to fuse with Rose?" 

Amethyst couldn't help but guffaw.

"Oh man, how couldn't I?" She joked, chuckling.

"Yeah yeah, I know. All your weird gem stuff is confusing, leave me be," Greg nudged Amethyst, which made her quiet down again. "Anyway, that was the first time we really talked about _us._ We had kept assuming we knew what the other was thinking, but we really had no idea. I realized that our relationship meant a lot more to me than to her, which wasn't a big surprise, considering she had no idea what she was doing. I didn't really either. But, just _talking_ about it was the next step. And... It was when I realized how much she meant to me, and when she realized how much I cared about her. She didn't like talking about some things, so we talked about other things. The point is, _communication._ That was the key. Me and Rose got together because we talked to each other. We figured out where we stood, our feelings grew over time, and as a result, we got even closer."

Amethyst fell silent. She was out of panini. 

It all made sense really, and was kind of glaringly obvious that the one thing she _wasn't_ doing was the reason she was having such a rough time figuring this out. It didn't matter if they ended up together or not. They should be talking to each other. She sighed. She really was a big idiot.

"Why are you asking all of this anyhow?" 

The sudden question took Amethyst aback, and she looked between Greg, her hands, and nowhere in particular as she tried to come up with a pretty convincing lie. But, alas, her big stupid self couldn't think of a single fuckin' thing. She blushed and bit her lip, fiddling with her fingers. Greg's eyes widened. 

"Oh wow. You've got it _bad_," He stated simply. Amethyst choked on air.

"Wh-_WHAT???_ Got _what??_ I don't 'got' nothin'!" She sputtered unconvincingly. Greg smirked. 

"Oh c'mon Amethyst. No need to be embarrassed. I won't tell a soul. Who is it?"

"I'm not _embarrassed_ Greg oh my _God!_"

"Is one of the uncorrupted gems? Oh man- Is it a human??"

"_NO!! It's not!_" Amethyst snapped, clutching her head. Greg fell silent beside her. She shivered. "It... It's nobody..."

"Amethyst..." Greg began, lightly pulling one of her hands off of her head to catch her eye. "What's wrong?"

And that was all it took for Amethyst to start crying. She hugged herself, tears slowly spilling out a hitting the pavement.

"Woah! Um-" Greg stammered, looking a bit dumbfounded. "I don't uh... I don't really know what to do with cryers... I can make another panini...?"

"I really messed up..." Amethyst lamented, ignoring his awkwardness. "I don't know what to do... I don't know what to _do..._"

"Oh I'm... Sure it isn't that bad...?" Greg offered.

"I bought her _flowers,_ like an _idiot!_" Amethyst chastised herself.

"Oh... So... You told this person how you felt... and they didn't-" 

Amethyst barked out a laugh, quick and full of underlying sadness.

"Nope. I couldn't even get a _word_ in before she starts sputtering off about some bullshit. She has no idea..." 

"Maybe..." Greg began carefully. "Maybe you should tell her?"

"Ohoho- That would be fantastic! If she would actually listen to me- at all! The first time I tried to talk about it she completely blew me off!" Amethyst, beginning to get frustrated, put on a mocking voice, mimicking Pearl. "Oh It's _fine_ Amethyst! I know you don't have any feelings for me- and I don't have any for you! Let's bond over the fact that we are totally on the same page!"

Greg simply stared at her. Amethyst continued on, her voice back to normal.

"And then- get this- I tried to talk to her about how upset she made me, but she completely fucking _ignored_ me. The sick part of it is I'm so used to this- I can't even really be surprised! I thought that it was different now, I thought I was actually being respected by my fellow peers, but _noooo!_ Apparently, I'm _still_ on the bottom of the Crystal Gem hierarchy, and I can't say what I really want to because someone always says it for me, louder. And my words get twisted into lies that I have to keep up because everyone expects me to! I'm so God damn tired of not being listened to! I don't understand..." Amethyst frowned, her crying deepening. "Am I just... A runt? Do they look down on me for that? Or is it something else...?" 

"Amethyst," Greg spoke suddenly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "There is absolutely _nothing_ wrong with you. Even if you're a 'runt', whatever that means, your opinions matter. I'm sure your friends know that... Something isn't connecting here... Steven told me that you were having a rough time lately, and... what's been happening. But I want _you_ to tell me about it."

Greg's gaze was stern, but reassuring. He knew. She knew that he knew. But he wanted her to say it herself. He was listening. 

She appreciated it deeply. 

"It's Pearl," She said suddenly, surprising herself. "I... I saw something I shouldn't have... And it made me think that she might feel the same way."

She frowned, significantly so. She rubbed at a damp cheek. 

"I was wrong... She told me herself... But she never let me tell her how _I_ felt. She just assumed she knew. It was like she didn't care at all. And now... Every time we talk to each other I just want to scream at her. She says things that don't make sense. She keeps asking me if she 'disgusts' me or if i'm insulted that she's there... It's like we're back to square one again... We can't stop arguing..."

"Amethyst... You've gotta talk to her about this... Like _genuinely_ talk to her," Greg said. 

"I can't..." Amethyst mumbled. "I try but... We just end up yelling at each other again. I'm too angry..."

"Give it some time then," Greg suggested. "Let yourself calm down. You'll know when you're ready to talk about it with her..." 

"What if she doesn't... listen?"

"Than make her listen. Amethyst, you aren't going to get anywhere by waiting for permission to speak your piece. You need to tell her everything, at least get the words out there. If she still doesn't want to believe it, then that's her problem. You at least have got to get it off of your chest."

He was right, she knew that. Greg knew what he was talking about, he had probably gone through a similar thing with Rose at some point.

"Thanks dude... I really needed this... I didn't know who to talk to about it..." She admitted, letting herself genuinely smile for the first time in days. 

"It's no problem, Amethyst," Greg insisted. "If you ever need to talk about this kind of stuff... Well, I'm an open book. I won't tell Pearl, either, that's on you."

"Thanks," Amethyst repeated, standing up. The sun was nearly under the horizon now. 

"You need somewhere to stay?" Greg asked. "It's not much, but you can stay in my van tonight if you need to."

"Nah, think I'll bounce. Don't wanna deal with Mr. Panini Breath over here," Amethyst teased. 

"Keep talking to me like that and I won't offer you food anymore," Greg retorted. 

"You wouldn't..." Amethyst replied, feigning heartbreak, dramatically clasping a hand over her chest. "How could you do this to me?" 

"Good luck," Greg smiled.

"Keep it wild Mr. Universe," Amethyst gave him some finger guns, beginning to walk away from the van. 

"Goodnight, Amethyst."

"Night dude!"

And Amethyst walked away.

✩★✩★✩★✩

Amethyst hadn't been home for a few days.

And she already felt so much better. 

She had left Greg's van with a new hope that even if things didn't work out, she was still going to be okay. She had been friends with Pearl for hundreds of years. That was going to make it hard for them to really hate each other. They just needed time and space.

She wasn't ready to talk about it just yet, but she knew she was well on her way to getting there. She was still too emotionally invested. She didn't want to try to talk to Pearl and blow up again.

She wondered if she would ever fully get over her. Probably not.

When she left Greg's van she had gone to Little Homeworld, deciding to help them continue their construction. They were getting closer and closer to the place being finished. She would never admit it out loud, but she was actually really excited about being able to be a teacher to other gems. She remembered what it was like to be so confused, and scared. She hoped she could make it easier on someone.

She had borrowed Peridot's phone right away, taking care to send Steven a message that she was alright and where she was. He had shown up the next morning, they hugged it out, she apologized for being such a butt. He had some freshly baked muffins from the Big Donut as a breakfast treat. Usual jazz. She also told him to tell Pearl that she was sorry, and that she needed to be alone for a bit. Steven agreed, and let her be. 

"Ugh..." Came the groan of a particular green gem. Amethyst glanced over, quirking an eyebrow as Peridot flopped forwards into the grass, hardly making an effort to stop herself from falling.

"What?" Amethyst inquired, pushing off of the building she was currently leaning against. Her current task was to oversee the construction of a new home for a gem that was currently moving into Little Homeworld. Of course, 'overseeing' really meant 'nothing at all.' She shook off her current dilemma. She was here to take her mind _off_ of things, she didn't need to be caught up in her thoughts. "You tired?"

"No, more along the lines of 'I despise querulous gems from Homeworld who've had their commodities and conditions handed to them for thousands of years and now that no one is willing to baby them or bend to their every need, they finally stoop _so low_ and decide to order us around instead.' Ohhh, I'm so _sorry_ Miss Sapphire Facet-3U9M Cut-9XO! But I simply _can't_ paint your windows blue because, it's friggin' _glass_ you stupid, impeccably meticulous, do-nothing, insipid _clod!!_"

Peridot was heaving by the end of her tirade, which was all half-shouted into the ground. 

"That was a lot," Amethyst noted, picking at something in her teeth and flicking it away. "Why do you refer to gems by their cut and facet? It's kinda old-school at this point."

"It helps me keep track of the projects," Peridot grumbled, her head lifting from the earth, hands rubbing at her temples. "Why can't a sapphire foresee that we can't rebuild the roof now, and that it's too late to change her mind? Maybe she doesn't even care. Why can't she be as nice as the sapphire that makes up Garnet?"

"You can't really blame her for it. She's been doing this her entire existence. Change is weird and scary," Amethyst pointed out.

"You know, Amy, I would really love to agree with that touching sentiment, really I would," Peridot's face hit the floor again. "But she's so _annoooyyiiinngg!_"

"Tell you what," Amethyst began with a roll of her eyes. "I'll take over for a bit, 'till Bismuth gets back from the forge. How's that sound?" 

Peridot's head shot back up, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

"Thank you," She whined, sniffling. "I could kiss you right now."

"I'd like to see you try," Amethyst snorted. "You only know about kissing from that dorky TV show you watch. Hate to break it to ya, but that example isn't really realistic, nerd."

"It isn't dorky!!" Peridot growled back, stumbling to her feet. "Shut it clod! At least my show is actually entertaining, unlike that forsaken show you get sucked into twice a millennia!" 

"Don't say that about Little Butler, dude. That man is a hero," Amethyst mocked offence. Peridot scoffed. 

"Okay Amethyst. Agree to disagree."

"Deal."

Peridot thanked her again as she saw her off, and Amethyst waltzed over to the construction site, slapping on a hard hat. They really didn't do anything for those that didn't have their gem on their head, but Steven had insisted on the safety precaution anyway. Something about 'setting a good example.' Starting to get to work, she finally understood what Peridot was talking about. This sapphire really was a pain. She was standing there looking over the whole thing and acting as if she knew a thing or two about construction when it seemed that she didn't. Amethyst responded by talking to her about what she wanted specifically, and offered compromises. Can't paint glass? Well, they can get stained glass in there. They can't rebuild the roof at this point, but they sure can add some decorative pieces to get a similar effect. After working with her for a bit and talking to her, the sapphire even felt comfortable enough to discuss the fact that her future vision didn't work very well, to the point where it effected her status on Homeworld before the reform. Now that she had the opportunity, she wanted everything to be done her way, exactly as she had longed for. 

It felt... good, great even, to help a gem in that way. She hadn't really entertained the idea before, but now she genuinely wondered what she wanted to teach at Little Homeworld. She didn't have to do anything specific, she could just help gems figure out what _they_ wanted to do. 

Yeah...

A few minutes later, she heard a familiar tune emit from across the construction site, atop a pile of wood planks. Amethyst marched over to it casually, used to answering Peridot's cell phone at this point. Although, it was still awkward to handle. Clunky piece of junk.

She was about to greet the person or gem on the other end, not bothering to check who it was before she picked up, however, she found herself immediately cut off.

"Yo Peridot! I need your help with something. Sorry for shoving this on you, but I've been sitting here in this forge just _thinking_ and I'm kinda starting to get worried about it? Just a bit? I don't know- Look. I need you to drop whatever your doing and-"

It was Bismuth, her booming voice fast and anxious, nearly unintelligible.

"Woah woah woah! Bis! Slow down!" Amethyst interrupted. "What are you talking about?"

There was a strange noise on the other end, like a rustle and a coughing fit.

"U-um. Hey, Amethyst! What's up!" Bismuth spoke, trying to sound casual. She failed miserably. 

"Uh. I'm alright," The younger gem replied, weirded out. "You need something?"

"Oh no- I'm good!"

"..."

"..."

"Bismuth, you were rambling, like, thirty seconds ago."

"Why'd you pick up anyway?" Bismuth asked, changing the subject. "I remember Peridot's phone being close to the new site and you watching from a distance?"

"Wow. You've thought a lot about this," Amethyst deadpanned. "We switched jobs, now what the hell is up?"

"Nothing!" Bismuth laughed nervously. "Why would you think that?" 

"Dude. You are so bad at this. Extremely bad at this. Peridot's busy, I think I can help," Amethyst said, fibbing a bit.

"No, no I don't think you can-"

"So you admit something is wrong?"

"N-no! I-"

"_Bismuth,_" Amethyst sighed. "I'm pretty tired of gems beating around the bush. Cut me a solid and tell me what your problem is."

It was silent for a few seconds.

"I just... didn't want to tell you because it might be... personal?" Bismuth sounded like she was choosing her words carefully, pausing every once in a while. 

"... Okay?" Amethyst questioned. "And?"

"Ugh! You better not be an asshole about this."

"Now what the fuck does _that_ mean??" Amethyst felt herself getting agitated. 

"Look, I know that you and Pearl haven't been getting along lately."

She blinked, her irritation ceasing immediately.

"Does the whole town know?" She inquired sarcastically. 

"No, Amethyst, I only know because I specifically asked."

Now her curiosity was piqued. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"It was about a week ago I think? Pearl and I needed to talk about a new gem moving into Little Homeworld, a sapphire. You guys are building her place now, right?"

_That night._

"Yeah," Amethyst mumbled. "We are."

"Okay, so Pearl shows up, and I start talking about possible clear spaces where the new place could be built, you know, going on and on. But after a minute of talking about that I notice that Pearl isn't really paying attention. So, I stop, and look at her, and she was _really_ spacing out about something. When she snapped back to planet Earth, I tried asking her if she was okay, and Amethyst... she completely broke down." 

Amethyst went cold.

"_What?_"

"I'm not gonna get into details because it isn't my place to say, but she started crying. So I thought 'maybe it's a pearl thing' because sometimes back in the day she would get really worked up over being a pearl, so I start trying to assure her that she's strong and capable, because that's what would work back then. But... it didn't work this time... So I started to think that maybe it wasn't that, and then she just starts goin' on and on saying all these nasty things about herself. She was beating herself up pretty bad, and I have no idea where this even came from. But here's my friend who is fairly upset, so I'm just focusing on comforting her... Um... Amethyst I didn't really wanna talk to _you_ about this... Because she kept mentioning you."

_Pale hands. A strong grip. Fingers clasp together over trembling lips. They move without permission. The words never come._

"She... said she lied about something. Something important. I've been worried, but after hearing about everything else that's been happening this last week, I got even _more_ worried. And after really thinking about it, I'm _really_ worried. I wanted Peridot to check on her. Not pry or anything like that, just talk to her."

Amethyst could barely register Bismuth's words. What did this mean? _What_ did this _mean?_

"I gotta go..." 

She hung up, not before hearing the _"Wait, what are you-"_ faintly from the other end.

Electricity danced in her fingers. The information was still too new for her to fully process. All she knew was that she needed to talk to Pearl.

Five minutes ago, she wasn't ready. 

But now? Something wasn't adding up, and Amethyst needed answers. 

And she needed to know that Pearl was okay.

She took off in a mad sprint, her feet barely touching the ground. Her hard hat whipped off the top of her head as her hair flew wildly behind her. Peridot was shouting something, gems were staring, the phone was blaring. It didn't matter. She was so focused on running, she forgot to warp. It wouldn't have really made a difference, though, with how fast she was going.

Liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got an hour to edit this. Writing author's notes before that because h e h.  
I'm so excited y'all we in for it now hehehehehehhe.  
Idk what to type here my brain isn't really working. Or maybe I just don't have as much to say? Eh I'll try my best. If you have questions feel free to ask.  
There's a paragraph where Amethyst strolls down memory lane. The memories are a collection of incidents from the show, incidents from the fic, and incidents I made up off the top of my head. I had a map of Beach City and the Wiki of all the locations open and I sat and came up with a route and scenarios.  
Greg's van has got expensive music equipment. It's got an outlet. Car's with power outlets are a thing. Maybe?  
Greg with the dad advice. He seemed like the obvious choice for advice at this part. Garnet would be all higher than thou (I LOVE that Steven in SU Future fucking agreed with me ahhahaha!!! I love Garnet to death but ya'll know it's true), Vidalia would have probably gone into protective mode and put the blame on Pearl, Steven was already emotionally drained from the situation, and like no one else would have a clue as to what they're talking about.  
Sometimes the best thing to do in an argument is take a step back and breathe. Amethyst needed that.   
Originally Bismuth wasn't the one to make the call, but actually the other Pearls. They would have called up and be like "yo why you making Pearl so God damn SAD though??" But I thought what I wrote was a little more realistic, plus I don't know how I wanna write the pearls about this yet. We shall see.   
Am I going crazy?? I swear to God there was a sticky note storyboard thing with Bismuth saying a curse word, but I can't find it anywhere. I was gonna make a joke about it here but I can't find it :((  
Also, debating on changing the chapter titles with the names of songs? Thoughts?   
I think I'm gonna be a bit lazy with the editing. If you catch any typos or anything, please let me know. I am very tired haha.
> 
> Leave a kudos and a comment if you wanna, I love reading y'all's responses <3  
Thank you for reading!


	14. Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amethyst and Pearl talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! If you're a regular reader, or anybody really, come follow my new Instagram for this archive account!  
**@the_dippin_dots**  
It'll have updates of progress once a day at least, and other things such as teasers for future chapters and works!

It wasn't long before the house appeared on it's sandy shore.

It loomed before her, the temple eyeing her movement as she dashed across the beach. It was hard to run on sand, but she still managed to clumsily stumble her way towards the porch stairs, her head mircofocused on just getting to where she needed to be. She clambered up the steps, falling forward a couple times to only catch herself on her hands. After the two-second plight of getting upstairs, she basically crashed into the front screen door, it opening with a creak from it's hinges and a slam into the wall. Her eyes could hardly focus from her blind adrenaline, but she still knew what she saw sitting on the couch, and she blinked a few times to clear the haziness. 

It was Pearl.

She looked quite startled, clutching one of Steven's t-shirts in her hands, appearing to be in the middle of folding laundry. A few small stacks of clean clothes sat on the table. Steven often tried to insist that he would do his own laundry, but Pearl often just did it for him anyways, always with a smile. 

After the dust settled, she wasn't smiling.

"Amethyst," She greeted, sort of monotone, her eyelids lowering to create an expression that said she wasn't amused. She looked away, continuing her current task. "You finally decided to pop in for a visit, quite literally, if I may add."

The shorter gem clutched the doorway, huffing from the sudden amount of exertion she just gave. Her legs felt like lead, but she wondered if that was from the sprint here or the fact that she was going to talk to Pearl.

_'You need to tell her everything.'_

"Pearl, we need to talk," Amethyst sputtered in a raggedy voice, ignoring her aching limbs and tiredness. 

"Ha!" Pearl laughed. "_Now_ you want to talk? That's hilarious. After screaming at me for a few days and then disappearing for a few more? Amethyst, I don't want to talk. I want you to leave me alone."

_'Embrace your true feelings.'_

"Yeah? Well that's too fucking bad," Amethyst retorted, letting the door shut behind her as she took a step into the house. "We are talking, _now._"

Pearl rolled her eyes. 

"I'm not listening to this," She grumbled, tossing the shirt the was folding down carelessly, an act she would normally never do. She got up, and started to march over to her room door.

Tears brimmed at Amethyst's eyes.

_'Make her listen.'_

"NO!!" Amethyst snapped, her voice booming in the small house. Her hands swung in different directions, emphasizing her emotions. "I have something I need to say, and you're going to hear it! _Why_ don't you ever just _listen_ to me??"

"Are you kidding me??" Pearl whirled around, stopping her pursuit of the door to glare at the gem opposite her. "You storm in here after days of no contact, and suddenly expect me to just sit here and listen to some half-arsed apology?? Well I can't!"

_'Get it off your chest.'_

"Did you mean 'half-assed?' because either way I'm not the one who hasn't been very 'genuine' lately!" Amethyst argued, taking a few steps closer to the center of the room. 

"Like I would say something so vulgar! And whatever do you mean by _that?_" Pearl began to walk closer to Amethyst, very angry.

_'You need to tell her everything.'_

"I know, Pearl!" Amethyst suddenly burst out with. "I know that you lied to me! The day I saw your dream, the night I tried to talk to you about it, I _know_ you lied to my face!"

Pearl stopped moving, a few feet in front of Amethyst now. Her eyes widened, and her features expressed nothing but surprise and fear. It was deadly silent for a few long moments. Pearl shook off her shock, and tried to look unfazed, unsuccessfully. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," She mumbled, looking away, hugging herself. 

"Really?? Stop treating me like I'm stupid!" Amethyst barked.

"I don't think you're stupid!" Pearl snapped back, her gaze piercing Amethyst's own. There were a few more seconds of silence.

"Then why do you always undermine everything I try to say?" Amethyst mumbled, glancing down, her shoulders slumping a bit. "I just wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you how I felt, but you keep interrupting me whenever I build up the courage to say anything."

Amethyst looked back up, surprised to see a mess of thick tears rolling down Pearl's face. Her expression, it was like she was in _pain._

"I didn't need to hear it," Her voice wavered. "I know how you feel. I know that you hate me... I'm... I'm s-sorry for the d-dream... I never wanted to ruin what we had and I did. I screwed everything up. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to make it up to you? P-please tell me..."

Amethyst stood there, unsure of what to say. She tried to say something anyway.

"Pearl," She spoke, a softer than before. "You gotta stop assuming how _I_ feel... I have _never_ hated you." 

"Then..." Pearl looked confused, but her face hardened, and her voice did the same. "Let's end this now. I need you to tell me how you feel." 

Amethyst fell into silence, gazing down at her feet. She really hadn't been able to figure out how she was going to tell Pearl. Back at Little Homeworld, she was trying not to think about it, and on her way here, she could hardly think at all. Now, she didn't know what to say, and her mind was blank. 

"Amethyst!" Pearl exploded, and the younger gem looked up again. "Please just tell me!!"

_'You don't have to be brave, necessarily. It's just a matter of sucking it up and doing it.'_

_'You'll know when you're ready.'_

_'It's okay to be scared.'_

_'Just be honest.'_

_'You always seem to know what you're doing.'_

_'I never know what I'm doing.'_

She had never been good with words. 

Amethyst launched forward, deciding to let her actions speak for themselves. It all happened so quickly.

Her hands gripped the sides of Pearl's arms steadily, and she pushed forward, making Pearl stumble backwards, Amethyst's hands keeping her standing. The older gem seem confused, bewildered, but still allowed herself to be lightly shoved into the wall near the fireplace with little protest. Her eyes were large and so, _so_ blue, the remnants of her tears flowing out. Amethyst's hands slid up to cup her cheeks, standing on her tip-toes in order to do so. Her thumbs gently wiped the droplets away, and she pulled Pearl down closer. They looked each other in the eyes, and asked the same question.

Amethyst squeezed them shut, and her lips crashed into Pearl's. The taller game made some sort of noise of surprise, and Amethyst nearly pulled away. What was she _doing?_

But before she could do anything, Pearl's fingers laced around the back of Amethyst's head and neck, and the noise quickly died down into one of pleasure. She gripped her hair, practically melting in the other gem's hold.

Maybe Amethyst would have processed that as peculiar, if everything wasn't so hazy and _incredible._ She had to support Pearl's weight against the wall behind them, being practically slumped over the shorter gem. Amethyst's hands slipped down to her hips, and the gem before her chuckled in the kiss, pulling her even closer, deepening it. 

Pearl tasted of something fresh and sweet, like citrus and sugar. It made Amethyst's knees weak, and her fingers dug into Pearl's sides, the older gem making another noise of surprise and content. Amethyst liked the noises. It was all so spectacular, the feeling causing bolts of electricity to blast through Amethyst's entire body. She felt light-headed. She wanted more of this feeling, enough to wrap around her and keep her safe.

Amethyst abruptly broke away, much to Pearl's dismay, but it didn't stop there. She was on a mission. The younger gem traced kisses along her jawline, tailing down her neck, getting increasingly more intense with each one. She nibbled at sensitive skin, and Pearl gasped and shook. She sucked at her collarbone, pushing that side of her jacket down off her shoulder. Pearl really liked that.

"Oh, _Amethyst!_"

Her name sounded so good coming from Pearl. She grinned against her shoulder before continuing her venture.

"A-Amethyst! W-wait stop-"

Amethyst, despite the haziness, halted immediately upon hearing Pearl's frantic voice. Strong hands pushed her back enough so that she could meet blue once more.

"What are we _doing?_"

Amethyst thought for a second.

Shit.

She just kissed Pearl. 

"I..." Amethyst swallowed. "I didn't know how to say it..."

Pearl stared at her. 

"Say _what?_" She questioned.

Amethyst paused. 

A question popped in her head.

"What do you think of me?" She murmured.

"Wh-what?" Pearl sounded astonished.

"What do you think of me? You asked me that once, and now I'm asking you," Her grip on the taller gem's waist tightened. "Tell me the truth."

Pearl stood there, lips slightly parted, brows furrowed in concern. 

"I want..." She began, licking her lips before pulling Amethyst into a tight embrace. "I've been running away from this. I've never been this terrified before. I've faced corrupted gems, Homeworld soldiers, the Diamonds... and I still don't know how to face this. I... don't know what to do. I hate myself for even feeling like this in the first place, but I can't help it. You astound me everyday. I... The confession in the dream _was_ the truth Amethyst. I just knew you wouldn't ever feel the same way. I thought... that you knew I was lying, and that it revolted you... That's why I've been so upset. I thought you hated me..."

Amethyst pondered over the words. She really had no idea.

"I think you are special..." Amethyst recited, remembering Pearl's dream. "Unique to all the world, and you... God Pearl you mean so much more to me then you think."

"Amethyst...?" Pearl mumbled, her grip slowly releasing so that Amethyst could look her in the eyes. 

"I was so happy when I saw that dream, Pearl," Amethyst whispered, as if this was the world's biggest secret. "I bought you flowers from an overly excited flower guy and I was going to tell you... that I felt the same way."

Pearl's eyes widened, and she looked up to stare out in nowhere in particular. 

"I... I smelled lavender... I thought it was laundry... but I checked today and," Her head snapped back to gaze at Amethyst again, and her face was filled with realization, a hand coming up to her mouth. "I interrupted you! Stars..."

Amethyst's expression twisted.

"Can... Can we talk?"

Pearl quickly nodded, and the shorter gem took a few steps back, taking the other's hand to lead her back over to the couch. They sat, their thighs touching, and they looked out in front of them, full of thought. 

"How long?" Pearl asked, her voice hoarse. 

"Since Steven's sixteenth birthday," Amethyst replied, fidgeting with her fingers. "What about you?"

"Years," Pearl responded. "Remember that time we went to one of those human rock shows?"

"What, like, the one with that motorcycle chick that gave you her number?" 

Pearl shrugged. 

"I never called her. I couldn't figure out why, she was perfectly nice and pretty in human standards. But I couldn't bring myself to it. I thought maybe it had something to do with Rose... but it was you..." She smiled slightly. 

"Damn..."

And she was trying to set them up the whole night!

"Okay, about Rose," Amethyst cleared her throat, feeling nervous. "Is this... kinda weird because of that? Or..."

"Oh definitely," Pearl confirmed without hesitation. "I don't harbor any feelings for her anymore... but... a small part of me still feels like I'm... betraying her in some way."

Amethyst frowned. 

"We can... work on that?" 

"It will take time. I'm certain it's something about me being her pearl. However, it's gotten better over time..."

"That's good," Amethyst let the frown fall away. This wasn't going to be perfect, she knew that.

"With everything that's been happening recently... did you have anything to do with that?" Pearl inquired.

"What do you mean?" Amethyst squirmed a bit.

"These past couple of weeks have been... fairly difficult. Before, it was easy for me to try and act like I didn't have any hidden feelings. But suddenly, you were spending moments with me that I truly cherish, we were holding hands, and talking to each other more. It was getting harder and harder to ignore the way I felt. Maybe I'm just being silly, but I was wondering if you noticed that too?"

"Yeah..." Amethyst grimaced. "That was me. I've been getting a lot of advice lately. I only really accepted that I liked ya' after the world was saved... again. I've been trying to work up to a point where I could tell you."

There was a pause. The air smelled faintly of waffles. She wondered if they had some for breakfast that morning. 

"... I'm sorry... for not listening to you," Pearl spoke suddenly, her voice filled with sorrow. "Please know that it wasn't because I looked down on you, or thought that you're beneath me. I hold you in such high regard, to be perfectly honest. But this? This is terrifying. I have no idea what I'm doing. The last gem I loved disappeared forever, ultimately from her love for someone else. I wasn't ready to face it again. However, I should have told you that, instead of acting like it wasn't a big deal... It is a big deal."

Amethyst smiled, and leaned against Pearl on the couch.

"I really appreciate that Pearl, thanks," Amethyst felt a slender hand slip on top of hers, and she sighed. "I'm sorry for being such a butt and taking out my own issues on you. You didn't deserve me yelling at you, and you didn't deserve any of the mean things I said."

"It's alright, really," Pearl leaned her head atop the shorter gem's own, chuckling slightly. "We've been dancing circles around each other, tiptoeing about for _weeks._ What are we going to do with ourselves?"

Amethyst thought about it for a moment.

"How about," She began to suggest. "We make pact right here and now, to just be honest about whatever is bugging us, no matter how small we think it is? I think we can both agree we're pretty tired of saying stuff we don't mean."

"Deal," Pearl quickly agreed. "Perhaps we should also sit down like this more often than never. If we talk about how we feel every once in a while, then there won't be anymore unnecessary surprises."

"Cheers to that," Amethyst chortled.

They both sat there in silence for a bit, grinning at their newfound togetherness. For once, they were on the same page. It felt fulfilling. 

"What now?" Pearl asked quietly. Amethyst smirked.

"We'll we could kiss again, I'd be pretty into doing that," She flirted casually. She was good at this part.

"Buh!!" Pearl made a sort of choking noise, launching out of her once comfortable position. She stared at the other gem incredulously. "_Amethyst!_"

The younger gem was pleased to find a deep blush encroaching upon Pearls cheeks.

"Oh come on! You totally liked it a few minutes ago!" Amethyst argued, nudging her with her elbow.

"M-maybe but I don't know what I'm supposed to do..." Pearl mumbled, looking embarrassed. "I've never really-"

"Oh, I know," Amethyst piped. "You took a sip in that drinking game after someone said they never kissed anyone."

"I-I did?" Pearl sheepishly muttered.

"Yup!" Amethyst affirmed. "Don't worry about it, we don't gotta do nothing you don't want to."

"It's not that... I..."

"You can follow my lead," She offered.

"But... I want to lead."

_Oh. Okay._

Amethyst blushed. 

"Can't help you there..." She mumbled.

Pearl's gaze met hers. Blue met purple once more. 

"I think I can try..." Pearl proposed, shifting to where her torso faced Amethyst on the couch. The shorter gem offered a thumbs up of support. This was new for the both of them.

Pearl raised a shaky hand, and halted for a moment, as if she wasn't sure what to do. Her stare seemed to be analitycal, studying Amethyst's features and calculating the precisness of it all. It would have made Amethyst laugh, but she held it back. She didn't want to make Pearl feel like an idiot or something like that. The hand moved again, a long finger reaching to tuck a strand of hair out of Amethyst's face. The older gem smiled at that, expression softening. Her hand held steady as she leaned in, and Amethyst closed her eyes.

Suddenly that same hand was shoving her away, and Pearl flew across the couch, putting a good five feet between them. She looked extremely nervous. Amethyst's brow furrowed. 

"Hu- _HI_ STEVEN!!!" Pearl yelped, way too loudly, as she fumbled about to try to make herself look presentable. She yanked her sleeve back up and ran her fingers through her hair frantically. All the while Amethyst sat there just staring at the display.

"Oh! Hey P-" Steven's voice could be heard from the doorway, and it stopped suddenly. "Amethyst??"

Said gem turned around in her seat, grinning ear to ear. 

"Hey dude."

Steven didn't hesitate in launching forward, clearing the distance to give Amethyst a big hug. She reciprocated it without hesitation. 

"You're back!" He yelled as he pulled away. He looked between the two on the couch with a slightly worried expression. "And... You guys-"

"We made up," Amethyst answered simply. Steven breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Thank goodness. I'm so glad!" Steven beamed. "I hate to do this, but I was just stopping here for a second before doing some grocery shopping. Can we catch up later though?"

"Absolutely Ste-man!!" Amethyst bubbled. "Anytime."

Steven smiled in response. 

"Okay, great!" He turned to Pearl. "I'll see you both later!" 

He began to walk away, a spring to his step as he approached the warp pad. 

"Bye!" Both Amethyst and Pearl said simultaneously, watching him warp away.

The shorter gem immediately turned to the other.

"What was that?" She asked.

"I don't want Steven to know about this yet, or anyone really. I mean, we don't even understand what this _is_ yet! Please, for now, can we keep this between us?" Pearl griped one of Amethyst's hands.

"Of course, Pierogi. We can take this at whatever pace you want," Amethyst grinned earnestly. Pearl sighed.

"Thank you..." She relaxed a bit. "I really like that nickname."

"Good, cause I'm probably going to come up with a bunch more," Amethyst laughed. 

"Oh really? Like what?"

And Amethyst told her. She rattled off any name she could come up with, which was a very long list. She was very good at names. Pearl listened to every word, eventually snuggling into Amethyst's shoulder. 

It wasn't long before they both passed out from the exhaustion of the past two days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOO!!!! THEY'RE NOT USELESS ANYMORE!  
This is not the end of Disobedient, in fact, we're only around halfway done. There's plenty of chapters to come!  
Early in the chapter, there are references to advice from every advice-giver throughout the series. This includes Garnet, Greg, Steven, Peridot, and even a line from Pearl and one from Amethyst. I wanted to include this to emphasize the fact that everyone else in the fic was imperative to getting to this point.  
We get some perspective from Pearl! Yeehaw! Now that they're going to be talking more openly, I'll develop that even more :)  
If you didn't hear from a comment or up above, I have a new instagram **@the_dippin_dots** that you should follow for more thorough updates on how this fic is going, teasers, and even talking with me directly!
> 
> This is about as much as I can come up with to write for now. I gotta blast!  
Thank you so much for reading!


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